Constellations

Chapter 40

***Scorpius's POV***

"We can start over, you know," I said after minutes of silence.

The sun had risen and yet we continued to lay in the forest with our hands intertwined between us.

"What do you mean?"

"Pretend like we just started dating again. I'm sure you'll get your memories back eventually but for the time being, we can still be together." I got up on my elbow to look at him. "If you want to, I mean."

Al mirrored my action and took hold of our intertwined hands with his free hand. "I want that more than anything but that would be selfish of me."

"How would that be selfish of you?" I asked.

"You love me and I have no doubt that I loved you just as much. But I can't right now. Not without my memories. That's not fair to you. None of this is. But you deserve someone that loves you as much as you love them."

I rolled my eyes and put my hand over his. "Don't be daft. You are that person and you'll remember it sooner or later. Do you want to be with me right now?"

"Of course—"

"Then that settles it." I kissed his hand. "We're boyfriends once again."

"Are you sure because—"

I pulled him toward me and kissed him softly. "Entirely."

He grinned and rested his forehead against mine. "I'm so glad you're back."

"Me too. And I'm not going anywhere."

***Albus's POV***

We eventually got up and I headed home. It was early in the morning and I planned on going to bed but my dad was waiting on the couch for me.

"Can we talk, son?" He asked.

Not seeing much of an option, I nodded and followed him into his office. I sat across from him and the way he clasped his hands on the desk made me think of being scolded by a professor.

"What's up, Dad?" I asked, muffling a yawn.

"I want to talk to you about Scorpius," he said, looking uncomfortable.

"Okay..."

"Are you two seeing each other again?"

"Yeah," I said, wondering where he was going with this.

"So you remember everything?"

"Not exactly. I just barely remembered Scorp's first change but that's it so far."

"But you two are dating again? Even without your memories?"

I nodded. "Yeah. He said that we could start over until I remembered everything."

Dad nodded, slowly. "And you think that's right? I mean, you cared about each other a lot but you don't feel the same way right now, right?"

My throat tightened. He was saying everything that I feared and panic was slowly setting in. "Not exactly but I do like him. He's my best mate."

"But do you love him?"

I thought about all the times we've had together, the ones I remembered, at least. I thought of how it felt to be around him. We'd been friends for as long as I could remember. He'd always been in my life and I had thought of him as a brother for the longest time. But being held by him and kissing him felt more right than anything I had ever felt. I cared about him so damn much. But was that love?

"I-I don't know," I said, softly and looked down at my hands.

"I know it's hard but you should do right by him. You don't love him now and what if you never get those feelings back? Don't you think he should be with someone who will love him?"

I had asked Scorpius as much and he had chosen me. But what if he was just blinded by the love I had felt for him? What if my dad was right and I ended up hurting him? I didn't want to hurt him and wanted him to be happy. And if my dad is right, he can't be happy with me.

"Yeah. You're right," I said, my voice barely more than a whisper.

Dad came around his desk and put a hand on my shoulder. "I know this is hard but you're doing the right thing."

I hoped I was.