thirty four

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Elle McBriar
August 2nd, 4 months and 21 days after the first zombie report

You know when you die, your heart doesn't actually stop until your very last breath. You think you'd be okay because you're still breathing, but in reality, only a small amount of people know when there last breath will be.

I wasn't sure when mine would be. I've been so close to death so many times that I'll probably end it myself.

The last thing I hear before I completely sink into darkness is the sound of more gunshots and then my name being called. I hope its God, calling to tell me that I've arrived in Heaven.

But it's not.

All I feel is immense pain in my left shoulder. Like, burning pain. It hurts to breath. 

I'm honestly mad that I'm not dead yet. 

I feel a warm hand on my shoulder and I peel my eyes open. I'm laying on a bed. A double bed? Since when did we get double beds? I look over and see Paxton laying beside me. Ahh, I see. We pushed his bed and my bed together. 

I turn over and see Alex looking down at me, with Gage at the end of my bed, "What the hell happened?" I rushed out, crying in pain as I move too quickly, "Woah, slow your roll there, you were shot, Elle. Again." I sighed, laying back down on the pillow.

"Is he dead?" I asked, disgusted by the taste of his name in my mouth. "Yes ma'am. Shot three times." I nodded, "Good, he deserved it." 

"Wait why are we in Paxton's room?" I ask, glancing around. Gage smiled, "He requested you two be in the same room. He told us that you sleep better with another person and that when you both wake up, you wouldn't be alone." Gage explained, I smiled, closing my eyes.

Gage and Alex excused themselves, leaving us alone. Paxton was asleep, I could tell by the soft breaths coming from his lips. He looked so peaceful when he slept, quiet. He was wearing the shirt he wore when he got shot. It was clean, surprisingly. But there was a big white bandage wrapped around his bicep. 

We almost had matching bandages. Mine was on my shoulder, but I had a neat blue sling to go with it. 

I couldn't help but think this is my fault. I'm always dragging them into situations where someone ends up getting hurt. And it's starting to gang up on me. It'd be better if I were to disappear.

I looked over at Paxton again. His eyes were shut. And all I wanted was for him to open his eyes and tell me he's okay. I shifted closer to him, using my free arm to hold his hand. At least he knows I'm here when he wakes up.

* * * 

When I woke up again, the first thing I saw was the glass of water and two painkillers sitting on the small table beside me. I needed those, thank goodness!

Stretching my three stretchable limbs, I turned over. Paxton was awake. I almost cried with happiness. He was sitting up, his back leaning against the wall as he read a book. I threw my arm around him, a soft chuckle emitting from him as he hugged me back.

I don't know when I started crying but I did. 

I pulled away from his hug, "I am so happy you're alive." I sniff, "Why are you crying then?" Paxton asked softly, wiping away my tears, "Because it's all my fault." 

His eyes turned to concern, "Every time I'm around you guys, someone ends up getting hurt. And I hate feeling responsible for it every time. I'm afraid you're going to die and then it haunts me. I am so so sorry, Paxton." I cried, stroking his face.

He kissed the palm of my hand, "You don't need to apologise okay? It's not your fault, at all. So don't blame yourself. But I'm beginning to think you're right. There are way more humans out there than we thought. Waiting to hurt us or something." I nodded, "Avery said that he'd been watching me. Waiting for the perfect moment to catch me."

I remembered the words he hissed to me, telling me his plans to destroy Earth and it's population. "But that's over now, he's dead, Elle." I nodded, "I know." I whispered.

Somehow, I was in a position where my legs were straddling Paxton's. It was a comfortable sitting position as I rested my weight onto him. His hands were holding my face and my one hand was sitting on his chest.

I still had tears down my cheeks but I felt more safe now that Paxton is with me. I don't know why, or how, but ever since I've gotten closer with Paxton, I feel a sudden pull and need to be with him. Like when I see him, I smile, I want to talk to him.

Or when were in the kitchen and we lock eyes for a few seconds, I feel my heart do a somersault. I've had crushes before but I can't tell if this is a crush or just something weird.

I held my breath. No one made a sound, "I should uh- probably go see what the guys are doing for dinner." I said quickly, jumbling my words round, "I didn't end up getting the pasta." I whispered, Paxton laughed, "Yeah I uh, noticed." 

I moved to get him when his hands went to my hips. He held me in place for a second and I froze. This the closest I've ever been to Paxton. What does he want.

I mean sure I've done stuff with guys, like, stufff, but never sex or anything like that. I don't know why I'm nervous. Oh God am I sweaty? I couldn't decide if I should move or stay here.

I looked up at Paxton, his brown eyes staring right into my soul. I bit my lip, eye contact is such a turn on. He looked at my lips. Before I could even think, I leaned down, making the first move as I kissed him.

I must've taken Paxton by surprise because he didn't kiss me back, but then he did, his hands firm on my hips as he held me in place. Holy S H I T. I'm kissing Paxton Price.

Not that I've ever thought about it but, his lips are so soft. And he tastes like mint.

My eyes were closed as my mouth fit on his like a puzzle piece. Literal heaven. 

His tongue danced with mine. I squealed at the sensation of him biting my lip. I felt him smile as I quickly pulled away, breathless.

Holy fuck did I just do that? I looked at him wide eyes as he smirked, lifting his fingers to his lips as he made a 'shh' sign with his index finger. I started to shake, holy crap I just kissed him. I kissed Paxton.

I kissed Paxton. Paxton kissed me back. I french kissed Paxton and he french kissed me back. What have I done? I hope I haven't made it awkward.

"Um I-I gotta pee." I said quickly, hopping off his lap as I ran to the bathroom, he called after me but it was no use.

I leaned against the cold door, catching my breath. I slid down it, closing my eyes.

Well, I have a crush.

* * * 

EEEE

hii

i love elle with paxton. who do you like her with?

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