Why r u dreaming?

CHAPTER 7

Tutor pov

It's already 10pm  when my phone starts ringing, it's my sister.

"P'Tog, something's wrong, why do you call me at this hour?" I answer the phone worried, she rarely calls and definitely not at night.

"Tor.." she's sobbing "we didn't tell you before to not make you worry but mum had to run some tests for a suspected cancer, we hoped they were wrong and everything was fine...but.."  

What is she trying to say? Mom...my mother has..

I can't hear anything, my ears muffle every sound around me, I can only hear my heartbeat speeding up. My eyes start watering but more than cry I wanna scream. This can't be true. 

"Tutor listen to me. Tomorrow we have to go to the hospital so the doctor can tell us more about the situation and therapies, I didn't want to tell you on the phone but we just received the news and I couldn't  go there, I need to stay here with mum. She wanted to wait for tomorrow to tell you too but I know you would want to accompany her and be with us so I told you, plus she needs you to" 

I don't know what to say, I understand their concerns but they should have told me all of it before so I could prepare myself. This is too hard to process now.

"I-I get it, how is she? I'll come home right now " I'm trying hard not to cry 

"She's sleeping already, it was a stressful day. You know how she is, she's hopeful and doesn't want to show her worries. No Tutor, please sleep tonight, it's late and I don't want you to travel at this hour. We need you more tomorrow morning at the hospital than right now. Try to sleep please, and don't think too much, just pray she'll be fine"  I know she's trying to be strong and don't cry in front of me 

"I'll be there." 

"Then see you tomorrow at 9 o'clock, text me when you're there. Goodnight nong" 

 It's been 10 minutes that I've been sitting on the bed, staring at nothing, trying to understand. What should I do? Why my mum?  She's a great person, the sweetest and most comprehensive, she has always been kind to everyone. She doesn't deserve this.

I'm crying hard, I don't like this life. I don't like working hard  when I should only focus on studying , I don't like having my family far from me, I miss them, I feel alone. I'm tired of always fighting for what I need.

Fighting didn't feel so terrible in the dream when I had Fighter beside me.

I bring my hand close to my chest and clench my t-shirt as to hold the non-existing necklace.

That necklace gave me power, it didn't make me feel alone even when I was, it gave me strength when I didn't have the energy to keep fighting, because I  knew I wasn't fighting alone, because I wasn't doing it only for myself anymore. In the period we broke up I was a mess but I never let go of the necklace, I seriously thanked him inside when he didn't take it because without him by my side only surrounding myself with memories of us helped me not giving up.

Now I'm alone in my room, I have the white thread on my wrist and the name tag on my library in front of me, but it's not enough, not now. 

Maybe I'll regret this... but there is only a place I want to be right now.

"Hug me"

Fighter pov

"Hug me"

I opened my door just to find a crying Tutor begging me

"Hug me please"

I don't have the time to react when his arms hook around my waist and his face is buried into my neck