Paradise Lost (JSAB)

When I Hold You Baby

A/N: ForensicArsonist you are on fucking thin ice I better not see anything cursed from you or I'm going to r e e e e

1135 hours, One Year Ago, Trist's apartment

"You haven't gotten out of bed in days, haven't you, Trist?"

Trist almost jumped out of his skin when the tiny voice came out of nowhere, poking his dishevelled head out of his blanket and to the doorway. Despite noon rapidly approaching, the blinds were pulled completely shut and letting barely any light come through to illuminate his pigsty of a room. It had been shut for over two weeks.

Tetra was standing in the doorway, arms crossed with a plastic shopping bag dangling from one hand, eyeing the pile of clothes strewn all across the depressed man's floor, the little village of coffee mugs somewhere in a corner, and even some towels which should theoretically belong in the bathroom. As messy as this was, it certainly was cleaner than it usually was. Immediately Trist felt guilty, shying away slightly. He was a mess and didn't want anyone to see him like this.

He didn't even hear them come in- And he was just wondering how so, when they seemingly read his mind and responded for him.

"You keep your key underneath your doormat, remember?" Tetra walked over to him, patting his head three times before walking to the curtains and drawing them, letting light flood into his bedroom. Trist groaned as he rolled over, pulling his blankets over his head at the blinding light. "I'm sorry, I know, I should've let you know that I was coming, but still. This is an improvement, by the way. Still a mess, but an improvement.

As ashamed as Trist was that Tetra was here, he was also glad. They were making sure he wasn't wasting away into nothingness. That meant a lot, the fact that they still cared despite his current frame of mind and... Also his current standard of living.

It had been about a year since Trist moved out of the orphanage where he spent almost half his life at, and things were... Not looking good, to be honest. Adult life was never easy for newcomers, and Trist was no exception to that. Taxes, Jobs, Bills and all that shit- And most importantly he hadn't left his room in two days. Not to mention that he couldn't afford university- yet, at least, so was likely stuck like this.

His depression, which he thought to be manageable at least for the past few years, had come back stronger than ever and absolutely crippled the poor thing. It came and went in waves, the good days went relatively well, but the bad ones killed him. Never before in his life had he spent literal days on end in the darkness.

"Hey, don't look so guilty." Tetra lowered their voice softly. "You always took care of me and the others whenever we needed you, and we've all decided to take care of you whenever you need us. It's the least we can all do to help you after all that you've did for us, Trist. You've made our beds more times than we've beat up assholes in your name. We're returning the favour. You deserve this."

Trist merely nodded, guilt subsiding a little bit.

It was really bad during the first few months he became independent. Not leaving his house in months, Trist's depression fully enveloped him and turned him into something he was ashamed of. He was previously quite good at taking care of himself. Cooking for himself- Cleaning for himself- Shopping for himself- He used to love doing so and was actually surprisingly good at all things domestic but for a period of time he could not leave his bed for months. Now his shabby, cheap apartment (which he could barely afford the rent for) was an absolute pigsty, and Tetra could feel the negative energy on their skin when they walked in. He hated it. He hated every single bit of it and wanted to have a clean house and a clean laundry basket and a clean mind but couldn't do anything to change it. When dopamine left him, it took his energy with it too.