X-Men Imagines

Self Punishment: Alex

Warning: mentions of violence, beating, and blood.
This one is going to be a little angsty, but angst in my books will not become a habit!

Alex was your best friend, but right now he wasn't acting like it, but that was entirely your fault. He and you had a huge argument a few days ago, and you said things that hurt him badly. At the time you wanted him off your case, so you let your mouth run without your brain being attached to the words that were chosen. The words that strung together to make vocal homicide.
So here you were, getting the shit beaten out of you. Punishing yourself because, after all, actions speak louder than words. But the words you said to him echoed in your head with each punch, kick, or slap.

PUNCH
"I don't give a damn about what you think of me!"

CRACK
"I don't need you to care!"

SMACK
"Cuz in the end,"

KICK
"YOU DON'T MATTER!!"

You had been at this for an hour. You went to a shady part of town and found a group of mutant haters to beat you to a pulp. But every time they knocked you down, you'd stand back up.
Stand up so they could hit you again. Stand up so you can get the punishment you deserve. Stand up so you can feel that pain you saw in his eyes. Stand up until you feel an equal amount of pain to the way you feel about what you did. Stand up so you can make yourself feel better about what you did to him! No, fall down and stay down. You're not supposed to be here to make yourself feel better, you're supposed to make him feel better.
So you leaned against an ally wall in a bloody state an watched the hooligans that beat you, walk away in a state of triumph. And just before you passed out, you heard something other than your venomous words. A completely different voice. It was Charles' voice.
"Alex, go get her." And then everything went black.

The next time you opened your eyes, you were moving, but not walking. Your legs were wrapped around a torso and your arms were draped over a pair of shoulders. You were being carried piggyback by Alex. He shouldn't be the one having to do this, Charles should have sent Hank, or Erik, not Alex.
   You moved higher up onto Alex's back and wrapped your arms more securely around his shoulders. He shifted his hold to match your movements in order not to drop you. You set your head on his shoulder after realizing just how beat and tired you were.
   After walking in silence for what felt like years, you decided to break the ice.
   "I'm sorry." Your voice was a graveled whisper. "I didn't mean what I said." Alex stayed silent, so you continued. "But that doesn't make what I did ok, so if you want to hate me you can. I'd hate me, I do hate me."
   Alex let out a shaky breath as he walked down the sidewalk. He came up to a bench and set you down on it. He paced away from you with his arm across his face. The face that you hadn't seen all night. He stopped a few feet away from you and leaned an arm on a shop wall and his forehead on his arm.
   "Alex?" Then audible sobs rattled out of him. Sobs that were full of pain and fear. Sobs that made tears roll down your face and into the cuts and scratches on it. "Alex, please, I didn't mean it. I could never mean it!"
   Alex whipped around to reveal his tear stained face, red cheeks, and puffy eyes. He wiped his reddened nose and sniffed.
   "I know that! Don't you think I know that?!" He was yelling, but he wasn't mad, he was scared. "You beat yourself up about it, LITERALLY! Charles told me you've done this before. Why?"
   "I deserve it!" You sat up on the bench and leaned forward.
   "NO YOU DON'T! YOU'RE ALOUD TO MAKE MISTAKES WITHOUT ALMOST DYING AFTERWARDS!" Alex stomped over to you and squatted in front of you. You looked down at him and cupped his face. "My heart can't take this. It can't take seeing the person I love get hurt on purpose."
You put your forehead on his and closed your eyes. "Promise me you won't do this again." Alex whispered.
"I promise." You opened your eyes and saw a smile on Alex's face. "I love you too, Alex."
"I'm glad for that. I was beginning to worry."

A/n: not sure how I feel about this one, but I couldn't get the idea out of my head, so here it is! Hope you enjoyed, have a wonderful day/ evening ❤️