Only with you

its a secret

i'm in the dressing room is my phone lights up with a text message. hey my bands playing tonight do you wanna come? I promise I won't say hi and you won't know who I am.

smiling as I text back what's the point of me coming then you won't even know who I am.

I immediately get a text back, it's just the feeling of knowing that you're there.

maybe. it's all I answer as I can't continue looking at the bathing suit that I'm in. It's a bright pink with leaves all over it. It's a two piece bikini and definitely out of my comfort zone. I think it's perfect?

I walk out of the dressing room and see Hayden on his phone. I tap them on the shoulder as he looks up. He looks like his eyes are about to fall out of his head. I can see him struggle to swallow as he says " it looks good." and for a moment just for a moment his hardened gaze softened.

then he went back to ignoring me and continue doing what he was on his phone

I huffed and stomped back in to the dressing room. He at least couldn't of said anything else? Is it that hard to be nice to anyone? no wonder his only friend is rune he hates everyone else.

I take a one last quick picture and send it to Alicia, no she won't text back for a while she's busy with Rune still. I shutter slightly

after I change into my clothes I take the bikini and question for a moment whether or not I should really buy it. A deep almost growl of a voice sounded behind me, " there's no fucking way you're buying that." he didn't says his teeth clenching. " why do you care so much?" I snap back at him. Why does he think he has an opinion on this?

" because I do not need every guy gaping at my almost little sister." he immediately snaps back at me. That's all like a job in the stomach his little sister? come on I'm literally only two years younger than him.

in in that moment I decide to do something really stupid.

" you don't control me I can do whatever I want." I say as proudly as I can. And I run over to the cash register placing the bikini on the desk and quickly pulling out my cash. and of course Hayden being Hayden stupid athletic Hayden catches up to me and almost an instant. he steps closer to me on was caging me with his body. " do not buy it." his voice more frozen than his heart.

" and I told you you can't control what I do." The lady checks me out and I grab my bag and flip it towards him hitting him with the bag as I stomp out.

The drive home is completely silent. A few times I thought about reaching for the radio but I wanted him to also suffer in the silence. he did not suffer. " wow I didn't know this but I had to do to get you to shut your mouth." sometimes I don't before I speak. This was one of those times, " I know a few other things they can make me shut my mouth." as soon as I said it I could feel heat rise to my face and me to become blush.

he didn't turn towards me but I could see a tip of a smile creeping on his lips.

Alicia was waiting up in my room when I got home. " oh my God girl I wanna see so bad let me see let me see let me see!!" she post the bikini out of the bag it has a little tear. She seems more excited about my bikini than me. " do you wanna go to a concert tonight?" i'm hoping she says yes but at the same time I hope she says no. I don't know if I can deal with the stress of knowing that I'm in the same room as him.

as in getting ready I see some thing Sticking outbehind my mirror. I pulled out into a photograph with my father and me. As maybe only six at the time. my dad left when I was eight and Rune was 10. I look so happy in the photo. We were jumping waves together at the beach we used to go to every single year. Who would've known that less than two years later he would leave us without a second thought. My father was the first person in my life to stop loving me.

my mom and him got married early he was 21 she was 18. They look so in love in their photos. I haven't spoken to my father since he left. Never gotten closure on what he did I never knew why. i'm all obviously told us that there was another woman for about the last two years of their 13 years of marriage.

my mom loved him more than anything. He was her entire world. She works the night shift and he works the dayshift so they never got to see each other. But I can remember a few Times where my mom called off of work "sick" so that she could stay with my dad.

I so badly wanted to break down when I saw that photo. Instead I sat there staring at it and set it on my dresser. we will always stay the picture perfect family. no one ever knows what goes on in the inside.

I grab a green sweater and darker washed jeans with some Converse. I put on a little bit of make up because I like how I feel in it. As soon as I'm done getting ready I hear Alicia screaming downstairs for me to come down.

once we get to the venue it's gorgeous. His band name is the rattlesnakes. Quite creative honestly. there's a ton of people here although it's a small bar venue. There's colorful lights illuminating the people on the floor. We must've gotten there a little lake because the moment we walk in the band starts, and everyone is screaming.

Alicia grabs my hand and tugs me towards the front and I'm just letting myself fall into the music. They're actually really good. It's sort of a rock pop sort of band? I don't know but they're really good. by the second song I realize should probably be trying to figure out who he is.

I look from the bass player to the singer to the Drummer and then I gasp. Hayden didn't tell me he was in a band. especially in the band with my secret online romance. and before I can step away without him ever noticing we make eye contact. and his face goes hard and I can see him clenching his jaw.

i'm so screwed

i'm so nervous as the band carries on. Once I finally stop I try to swallow but it's so hard. He's going to kill me. if it was A normal band at a normal venue then maybe he wouldn't kill me as much. Instead this was a bar filled with 21+ year olds. The place filled with smoke and an extremely explicit rock pop a band.

he almost throws his guitar down and walks over to me so fast that I wouldn't even have a chance to escape. he backed me into a corner where no one can find me. " why the fuck are you here." he sounds calm but I can see the anger in his eyes but yet his voice is also hard as a diamond. I struggle to form words, "I- i'm not here for you." his eyes brows Price slightly as I say that. As he rubs his tongue against his teeth he says, "well then who the hell are you here for?"

oh great but I am supposed to say now? oh yeah I'm here for my secret online romance that I haven't told anyone about especially my brother because they would call me insane and think that he's a stalker 50-year-old man.

" i'm honestly not sure." I say I'm not really sure how to explain this without sounding crazy. " A penpal of sorts of mine is a part of the band" I explained to him. For a moment I could see his face soften. "oh" is all he says before walking away.

I never understand anything he does