Only with you

Not a goodbye.

AN/: Sorry i haven't updated in a while, I've been really busy and have had little inspiration to write. I hope everyone has a nice day! 

Hayden's POV (Of Everything falls apart. and Leaving and growing up

Throwing on a black t-shirt and some black shorts that have been laying on my floor for weeks, I am almost ready to go before my phone lights up with a text. Rember what you have to do. Remember your reward. 

I'm so torn. I really do care about Seraphina, but this is thousands of dollars that I could use to build my future- our future, together. Maybe I could somehow explain to her what I'm going to do, and she'll be okay with it? No fuck why would anyone be okay with that? 

As long as I can explain everything when we drive home after, everything will be okay. Fuck this girl made me soft. She's just so bubbly and happy all the time, it kills me.

Honking when I pull up to their house. As they come out my eyes are immdealty drawn to Seraphina. What the fuck is she wearing? It's like she's trying to fuck with my head. 

Rune clears his throat after a moment, breaking my eyes away from her. He's staring daggers into me, but I brush them off as if they're nothing. Because god she looks amazing and I cannot stop thinking about tearing that dress off of her... fuck focus.

The minute we pull up people start cheering because they recognise my car. People quickly gather as soon as we step out but my thoughts are consumed by her. I don't know half these people. I don't want to know them, i don't fucking like them. I'm hoping that she's right next to me, but of course she's not. I luckily catch eye of her slipping into the house. 

Ignoring everyone I start walking to the house, and all these little assholes don't get the memo so they just continue following me inside. After making a quick escape from everyone, I grab a beer out of the fridge eyeing Seraphina. 

We both know the routine, look for Rune or that one girl's name that I can never remember or anyone who we know gossip. Luckily no one concerning is around, but this one couple is taking up space next to her. God people are so gross. 

I kick the guy in the leg and he stops his make-out session to look up at me, "move" is the only thing I have to say before he and the girl scramble away. She tries to get up and leave for what reason, I have no fucking clue. So I reach and grab onto her waist, pulling her onto my lap. After a few seconds, i feel her relax a little as I gently rub her thigh with my thumb. 

I really am going to regret this, aren't I? 

She's taken up my entire mind and I cannot stand it. I am not good, she deserves so much better and I'm going to have to prove that to her tonight.

A few more people gather and they decide to play a game of spin the bottle. As much as I want to prepare her hurt for tonight I can't help but let out a sound of disapproval and hold onto her tighter. 

The bottle hasn't even been near us but I can't help but shoot all of them deadly looks as if they even thought about kissing either of us. I know she can feel peoples eyes on us, but i know them all enough to know they won't say a word of what goes on.

My mind is drifting off into the smell of her hair when she tapes on my arm and i release her slightly whispering into my ear, "i'm going to the bathroom." I give a small nod and help her up. 

Once she turns the corner a group of the guys the bet is going on with comes rushing over. "What the hell was that? Why does it look like you're cuddling up to her? Have you forgotten the plan?" They all shoot questions, "I've gotten it under control. It's happening." All their eyes light up when i say, "tonight." 

It's been almost ten minutes, where is Seri? I walk towards the bathroom and i group of girls are rushing out, no. Aww my sweetheart is curled into herself bawling. I get down onto the ground next to her, holding her as i whisper, "it's okay Ser i'm here. Come back please, i've got you." 

After about a minute she looks up, tears covering her red cheeks and her eyes glassing from how much she had been crying. I pick her up, carrying her as i try to look for an empty bedroom. I leave the lights off as i lay her on the bed.

I'm opening the door getting ready to leave. Tell the guys that it's off i can't do it. Fuck the money i'll find another way to collage. I'll find a new scholarship and no one else will ever see her or touch her when her voice calls out, "stay."  

I wish now i would left for just a moment. Tell her that I would've been right back. But of course, I didn't. 

I laid with her, just holding onto her as i brushed though her hair. Suddenly i felt her reaching down for my pants. 

I push her hand away, "no no, this is comforting, this is for you. Not for me, always will be for you." I try to tell her but instead she said, "see this is one of those times you are wrong. I do need this. I need this more so than anything." She knew what she did to me, just the sound of her voice made me hard. I can't stop her, i won't stop her.

I kiss her and once i finished undressing her, but suddenly i remember i have to tell the guys not to come in. I luckily still have my pants on so i run out to tell them. But theyre too fast. They all were waiting outside the door and before i know it i hear her scream and her put her feet on the ground as she stands.

Fuck, fuck, i have to have a i don't give a fuck attidue. I already accidently did most of what they wanted, so why not just do the little part i need left to do.

I quickly run over to some guy on the football team and start laughing, luckily he catches on and starts laughing at me when i see her running over to me. She pushes me, which actually tips me a little bit. Her eyes are filled with tears but her face is so angry looking. 

The next words should not have come out of my mouth "Whoa what's up little S? What's got you're small ass panties in a twist," I let out a fake laugh and luckily the rest of the guys near me started laughing. "Why did you let them in- I, I don't understand," She stumbles on her words, the hurt in her eyes killing me.

"What did you think i actually liked you? Did you think we were dating?" My voice deep as i try to keep it together and not run over and apologize and kiss away her tears. I watch a tear run down her face as i say, "oh my god guys you owe me even more money, i told you she would fucking cry."

That's the moment i knew i was never getting her back.

In that moment i watched everything drain out her eyes. All the anger disappeared as her face soften, the tears still threated to spill at the edge of her eyes, but none did. The sadness died. And finally i watched as any and all love she may have had for me die. All life drained from her. 

She was never coming back as the same person.

I- "But- I- I_" She trys to speak but her words are choppy  "you what? You thought i loved you? You thought i cared about you more than just a quick fuck from a tight pussy and a doll i could control and dress up?" Fuck why am i talking to her like this?

I watched as she slowly turned around and almost like a robot walked out of the house. The cheers of the guys around me try to distract me but all i can see is her walk out of the house. She didn't turn around, not even once.

All these rich fucks pulled out their checkbooks as they gave me thousands of probably their daddy's money. And I don't feel excited about it. Even though they probably gave me half of my collage tuition, i don't care. 

I'd give everything back for her. I'd give up my fucking car just to see her smile once more. 

~~~~~~~~

I saw Rune every day still, but i didn't go to their house for days. It felt too much like I'd be invading her space if i came over. I wanted to see her, to talk to her, but i knew it would be too soon.

And when i finally did decide it would be time to see her, ten days, four hours, and fifteen minutes without seeing her. It was too late. 

The minute i walked into the door, we looked at each other then she quickly hugged Rune and walked out the door. 

I didn't even get to say goodbye to her.