THE UNWANTED BRIDE

CHAPTER 36: GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS.

ALEXANDER'S POV.

I approach her door and knock but nobody comes to the door and I become desperate and begin pressing the doorbell like a maniac. " I know you're ignoring me Bella and I swear am not leaving your front lawn unless you face me and talk," still no answer so I decide to continue, " Just because you felt something doesn't mean it was wrong and I realize I feel like a smug jerk thinking you felt something but even if you didn't I jus want to talk to clear things up so that as we work together, it won't be awkward and I seriously don't want to ruin everything because of one moment, so please come outside and let's talk this over," nothing still happened and I came to the realization maybe am pouring my heart out and nobody is even home.

"I just wish you'd talk to me because I don't want to go on leaving in this uncertainty. It's torture because you make me feel so much yet I don't even know if you feel anything for me. Seriously ever since I lost the love of my life, you're the first person I have felt so much for and I don't know if that's what am supposed to be doing now because am really afraid that I will break you like I did her and I know how fucked up that sounds but I can't bring myself not to explore anything because for a while I've felt like am drowning and am walking around by am dead inside but since I met you, I have felt like I'm starting to live again. You may not be here to listen to this, but I just want to say I really like you and even if you don't feel the same, I will understand because after all I really believe I don't deserve anybody's affection," with that I decided to go back to my place because it seems the only thing I achieved from this whole ordeal is to have my self-admit out loud that I like her and to finally feel like am lessening the burden I've been carrying around.

BELLA'S POV.

I needed to be the one place that could help me regain the peace and composure I desperately need.

My grandparent's house.

Since I was young this was always my sanctuary and when I was abroad and found out my parents wanted to sell it, I immediately jumped at the chance and bought it but through a Shell Corporation that wouldn't lead to me. At the time, I couldn't risk anybody finding out about me and I did get my wish. By the way am feeling right now, I just wanted to alone and go throw the motions without stressing out anyone or having to be strong because since I came to LA this has been something that has been long overdue. I knew the minute I step foot in this place, everything I had escaped from will come rushing back and no matter how strong I've become, I will be overwhelmed but luckily, I have this one piece from my past where I can figure everything out any way I want.

That kiss. That kiss sparked things that I had long buried and I hate to admit it but he still tastes the way I remember. Xander has always been my drug. The addiction that I can never shake off. He could ask me to roll over like a dog and I would do it. He would ask me to kill for him and I would. I guess after all I found my prince charming but what we have is not the kind of fairytale where is the cliché happy ever after; ours is a dark fairytale where equal parts of passion, pleasure, pain and suffering finds homage. We light up fires that only we can extinguish but can still burn each other so bad. His littlest of contact with me can spark such excitement and butterflies because I love him so much that sometimes I feel like I could burst out due to the amount of love I feel for him.

I know he hurt me so bad but I couldn't just stop loving him because from the beginning I knew we were in a loveless marriage and he was the spawn of Satan and would use anybody or anything to get what he wants because he was an ambitious person yet I still fell in love with him and it's not like I never knew he would betray our vows with that slut because he always warned me and even displayed it in front of me but I made the decision to fall for his charms and thought that I could change him but that wasn't my place so I knowingly fell prey to his tricks and I ended up hurt.