Don de Santos

15. Honestidad

The way he's looking at me makes me think that he's scared to open his mouth and speak. In all the years I have spent with Andrew, he has never looked this nervous.

"There is nothing left to talk about, Andrew," I reply, snatching my arm and attempting to leave, but he yet again stops me.

"There's a lot of things to talk about, Ana. I have so many things that I want to say."

"Well, I don't."

"Ana, please," Andrew pleads.

Honestly, I would feel bad if I don't give him a chance to explain, but at the same, I don't think he deserves it.

"Just give me 5 minutes, please, Ana."

I sigh in defeat and nod, not wanting to be a bitch about it. It has been years after all and whenever he came to my parent's house to visit, I wouldn't be there. I cut him off when he disappeared for years before starting to visit a day or two yearly.

We walk to a room close to the infirmary and he closes the door behind him. He motions for me to sit, but I politely decline.

"Look, Ana, I know that you hate me right now. I disappeared when I went to university and trust me, I regret it. It's just...when I met Rafael and learned about his mafia, I had to join, and I didn't want any of you, especially you, to get involved. I was scared to visit because I didn't want our enemies to know my family. I changed my name and cut all ties with you all. I couldn't do that to you. Trust me, I tried coming more and tried to include you, but it was too risky, especially with Manuel's friend who betrayed him."

"Don't bullshit me, Andrew. Manuel's friend only betrayed them a year and a half ago, not twelve years ago."

"I know, I am not saying only for that reason...Ana please, just understand. You were the only one who got me despite being a sixteen-year-old kid," he pleads, grabbing my hands in his.

"You left me, Andrew. You left me despite knowing what he does. You know...you know how he hates me, how they hate me. I don't even know why they adopted me."

"Ana, I am so sorry. I never wanted to leave you, I swear. You will always be my sister and my favorite one. I failed you. I am so sorry, Hermana."

I look in confusion at him and was about to ask what he meant when he says, "sister."

"Every time I don't do a great job at the hospital, he gives me five whips on my back with his brown belt." I ignore everything he said and decide to share some of my memories with him. "It didn't happen frequently, the beatings, but the emotional abuse was constant. I was always reminded where I came from," I add, looking at his tearful eyes.

"Sarah became worse than before. Our mother forgot what compassion is like, but father was the worst."

"Ana, you do—"

"I want to," I cut his sentence and continue. "My only safe place was the hospital until I fucking killed the man who sexually assaulted me when I was walking down an alley bright in the morning, thinking nothing will happen because there were people around. But no one did shit when he grabbed my arm and took me despite my screams. Then I quit the hospital because I couldn't practice anymore. After all, the image of my hand holding the scalpel and damaging his organs couldn't leave my mind till today. Then I met my uncle at the prison where I was working as a general doctor. He became the father I never had and here I am, Andrew, in the place that you fucking wanted to protect me from. So, no, Andrew, your apology is not accepted."

By the end of my speech, Andrew's face is red, with tears running down as if they have been bottled up, waiting to be freed.

"I don't blame you for anything that happened, I only blame you for one thing and that is not being there when I needed you the most."

With that, I open the door and walk out, only to see Rafael with his broken arm, leaning on the wall in front of the door, with a blank expression on his face.

He heard everything.

I run to my room and lock the door. The guilt eats me as I think about what I said to Andrew. I can't bear feeling guilty for making someone else feel the same. It was like I told him that everything was his fault, which wasn't. Whatever happened to me, was not his fault. It's just that I have missed him and I never thought that one day he'd willingly leave me. I know he had, to protect me, but even then, I wasn't protected.

I look at my lifeless eyes. This only happens when I talk about something painful about my life. As much as I try to be strong and positive, at the end of the day, this is the real me.

A knock pulls me out of my trance. I walk to the door with lazy steps and a scowl. "Who is it?"

"It's me, darling," Victoria replies.

I unlock the door and pull it open.

"Are you okay? Andrew told me that you two talked and it wasn't good. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really, but is it okay if you stayed with me a little bit?"

"Sure, hun!"

She walks inside and sits on the bed, patting beside her for me to sit. I go and sit and then lean my head on her shoulder. "You know Victoria, you make me feel like I have a mother who cares about me."

"Oh, I am your mother. You can even call me mom," she replies, making me smile.

"What's the deal with you and uncle wanting me to call you both mom and dad?" I tease with a grin.

"Well, maybe because Alba had a twin sister but died while I was giving birth, so Manuel and I are too eager for you to call us that."

"Oh, I am sorry. What was her name?" I ask, looking at her now.

"Aliyah." She smiles. "We buried her near my mother."

"Well, I don't want to take her place or anything, but I'd love to call you mom."

"That'd be wonderful!" She squeals as she goes in for a hug.

A tight one might I add.

"By the way, lock me here because if I see Manuel or Rafael I would kill them."

"Why?" I giggle.

"Manuel because he sent our sons to get injured and Rafael for getting injured," she replies, shaking her head in disbelief. "Can you believe them?! They are stupid! I hate this," she adds, making me laugh.

"Don't worry about them, Rafael is good, just a broken arm, and Cash is okay."

"I know, but still. Cash is like a son to me and if anything happens to him, I'll burn this mafia down."

"Trust me, I'll help you with that."

"I knew choosing you as my daughter is the best choice!" She laughs.

"By the way, we are having a small party in two weeks for Rafael's birthday. Would you like to help me and Alba with the preparations?"

"Sure, I'd love to."

"Then, it's settled!" She claps her hands. "And by the way, don't ever hesitate to come to me when you need to talk, and please, I know it's none of my business, but give Andrew a chance, okay?"

"Thank you, mama, and I will."

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Sorry for the late update.