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Shadow.

That damn app. If it hadn't been for it dragging me away to give some asshole a new pair of clothes as if it was anyone elses fault that he wasn't prepared, then what happened to Kai wouldn't have gone that far. Or happened at all.
It took everything to not hunt that kid down and add him to my ever growing body count just for that.
Not only could I not let Kai out of my sight; but i couldn't let him talk to the others.
Because then he'd hear about Blue turning up dead. Or about how Claire was now missing.
Watching Kai now, as he inhaled a blunt he made me roll, I wondered how he would take the news his ex was gone.
I couldn't risk him any more. Couldn't risk anyone finding out he was omega. The end of school was fast approaching but it wasn't coming fast enough and i felt trapped in this town. Already I was keeping my eye out for rentals in nyc. And for jobs in that area too. We could give up being wolves. Promise to never shift unless facing danger or if needing to heal deep wounds. But that's it. Already I had installed cameras all over that Kai was bound to notice and get upset by. He thought I wasn't watching him during moments of going downstairs but he was wrong. I was always watching. I felt as if my heart was pounding in my ears for the short moments my eyes left his face.
I couldn't lose him. I couldn't allow anyone else to get to him.
I could fight the world but I couldn't fight Kai's mental state and that scared me more than anything. If he was left broken and chronically depressed, who could I kill to make it better? No one.
He didn't want me to kill for him. But better my hands stayed bloodied than his. I couldn't bring myself to care about anyone other than Kai. I've only ever loved Kai and my sister. It was hard to bring myself to give a shit about anyone else. Everyone else was someone else's problem. Everyone else's death and pain had nothing to do with me.
And if that made me evil, I didn't care, as long as Kai loved and accepted me. He didn't look at me differently after witnesses me killing so much, as far as I could tell at least. So we were good.
We have done anything other than cuddled in a while. Haven't even kissed. But that was ok, Kai needed time. And I didn't want him ever to flinch away from me. I'd rather he not kiss me for years before forcing one and him recoiling as if I were one of those dead rapists.
I hadn't been able to hide Blue and their bodies but I did get Ash to go to the scene to remove evidence of either of us being there. And to go talk to Kai's parents to keep them from running to that rat bastard.
Kai would kill me if he knew, but I planned on killing a bunch of these adult wolves before we left. Kai wouldn't want to leave these young wolves at his mercy, so to make it easier for him, I planned on slaughtering the alpha and his whole family and every loyal follower.
I've already killed a few, might as well really damn my soul now.
"Can you at least come hold me while I defeat this final boss?" Kai pouted at me as he stabbed his blunt out and picked his controller back up. "Or do you prefer staring from a distance?"
He didn't have to tell me twice, I've been dying to hold him. With my arms wrapped around him, I felt calm on the inside. As if as long as I held onto him he was here, safe with me.
He settled in front of me as I slid onto the sofa, leaning his back into my chest as he pressed play on the game. A breath whooshed out of him as I wrapped my arms around him. I tensed, thinking I was triggering him.
"I feel safe in your arms, you know, so you don't have to worry," he told me as I started to pull away. He squeezed my thigh and continued to play and I watched him beat the final boss. We had played this game before. I needed to buy new ones for him. But I also needed to save every drop of money now that I've used a lot of it. Maybe when I killed the alpha I should rob him too. He was dripping in old family money. Might as well. And that way I wouldn't have to get a job and be away from Kai.
Yes, I'll have to add it into my plan.
"If you held onto me like this, could we go outside? Like on a date? Or seeing the others, they could also come here-"
"No," I squeezed him to me and he let me. Kai had changed for sure. I was shocked he wasn't tearing the house down to get outside, he never liked it when I babied him or told him what to do. It made me both sad and glad. Sad because he understand how dangerous it was for him being omega in a world of predators. But glad that he was listening to me at least, because it made protecting him easier. And if he tried sneaking out, i would notice before he could touch down onto the grass. If any door or window opened I got a text alert.
"So what's the plan then?"
I brushed my cheek against his. "Don't worry about it."
He sighed annoyed but still leaned into me as he put on the news.
I tensed. "Let's watch a movie." He gave me a side eye. "Let me first watch what's happening out in the world." I snatched the controller from him.
"You know the news is a load of shit, it's bad for you." 
He threw up his hands. "You're crossing a line now Shadow. Lock me up here all you want, you can't control what I do inside too. It's not fair."
"Life isn't fair."
He made a face at me and stormed from the room. I clicked off the tv and jumped up to follow him, my heart racing. Would he try to leave? Would I have to fight him to stop him?
"What are you doing?" I asked nervously. He hasn't moved so fast in weeks now instead slowly moving around and giving me time to track him. Now he was a blur of movement as I rushed to catch up to him.
"I'm going to go crazy in here, might as get my cooking skills up."
I grinned at that as he pulled out a pot and pan and a few ingredients. I've been dying for him to cook a meal for me, picturing a domestic moment of sitting at the table with him in a cute apron as he served me a plate of food. It was his fault, ever since he cooked for Henry it's been on my mind. "Need me to order anything?"
"A will to live," he muttered back.
My mood darkened. "That's not funny."
He stuck his tongue out at me. "Who would you kill if I wanted to kill myself?" He asked as if he were asking about the weather.
My teeth clenched together as I stepped closer to him. "That's not funny Kai. I don't like these jokes."
He smirked at me as if he thought otherwise. Meanwhile he was literally voicing my fears. "Answer me. If I wanted to kill-"
"Your mom. If you kill yourself, you'll die knowing you killed her because I'll rip her throat out."
He gaped at me, amusement no longer dancing in his eyes and I felt a pang of guilt for taking away his good mood. But he was poking at me and my fears and I worried about that. At least now, he wouldn't dare try. He narrowed his eyes at me and then his expression softened as he looked away.
"I don't think I could kill anyone," he said so softly I almost didn't catch it. His eyes swung back my way. "Thank you Shadow, for doing the dirty work. I wish I was strong enough..." I crossed over to him, grazing the back of my knuckles down his cheek.
"Killing has nothing to do with being strong. And everything to do with being afraid. I'm afraid to lose you Kai, afraid to let others live in fear of what they might do. You care deeply and have empathy. Never apologize for being a good person."
His eyes glazed over in tears before he tilted his head and leaned in close. My breath caught in my throat as I thought he might kiss me.
I clenched my hands at my side, to keep myself from grabbing him and ruining the moment by devouring his mouth with my own.
Kai sighed and stepped away. My heart dropped. He didn't want to kiss me yet. I hated those fuckers more than ever. If possible.
They died way too quickly.
"I'm making grilled cheese and tomato soup," he announced. "I'll have to look up recipes for other types of foods, but I can confidently make this at least."
"For me too?" I asked hopeful. He winked at me over his shoulder before turning back to the stove, flicking it on.
"Of course, can't have my jailor starve."
"Ha. Ha." I said but even his rude comment didn't ruin my mood. He was going to cook for me. I beamed at him when he finished and handed me a plate.
"Dude, it's just a grilled cheese. Stop acting like I made you a five star meal."
That didn't take the grin off my face. And it must be contagious because Kai grinned around his food too as he sat next to me: we had to eat with one hand only as he took my hand in his and hold onto it the whole time.

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