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62. Kai

Kai

"We need to get Shadow," the words flew from my mouth as soon as I gained consciousness. Would my mind never stop worrying and thinking about him? Looking around. I was on a bed with all white crisp sheets and pillows and Sunshine was placing a glass of water by the bed stand. It looked like we were in a hotel room.
"You need time to rest and shake off whatever Shadow drugged you with," Sunshine spoke as the edges of my vision were still blurry.
"I'm sure it wasn't anything too bad-" his sister shot me the meanest look. I rubbed my eyes to avoid her mean stare. In sent chills down my back.
"Kai don't be an idiot. It probably could have killed you had he given you too much."
"He wouldn't-"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," a woman with blonde braids flowing down her body, resting against her brown skin and waist beads spoke up. I hadn't even realized she was in the room. But sure enough there was a whole other bed next to the one I was laying on with the same style covers. "I'm sure a day ago you would have sworn he wouldn't drug you either."
I grumbled at that because it was true.
"Fine, he's a piece of shit for that. Now where is he, so I can return the favor," I cracked my knuckles. For sure I was mad. But also, I felt desperate to see him, make sure he was ok. He obviously wasn't in a good state of mind. And me missing surely was sending him into a rampage. Although since he had the house on surveillance then I'm sure he saw Sunshine come in a rescue me. From his point of view it would be kidnapping though.
"Since I don't have a tracker on my brother, I couldn't begin to tell you where he is," Sunshine sat on the edge of the bed as I started to sit up. I needed to go then. Now. "But before you run off, I need you to tell me everything that's been going on. Otherwise I won't know how to best help Shadow."
I nodded, knowing I had no other choice and no one else that I trusted to tell the whole truth to and get a solution, other than Ash who I was starting to wonder if he was more on Shadow's side. After all he had arranged for Shadow to meet that omega woman behind my back. And who knows what else. Ash has been in town for weeks and Shadow was talking to someone. Planning something. But I knew I also had to be careful what I told Sunshine. Maybe this was her seeing if her brother was even worth saving. Which he was!
I told Sunshine and her friend everything from how we had created this group, taking Henry in, helping others, the omega women and the app and the sos message, the garage, Shadow killing others to protect me. My voice cracked as I told them the gist of what happened in the woods. Sunshine's eyes had fluttered closed before she reached over and squeezed my hand, offering no words of comfort or advice, simply saying, "good riddance," when I said Shadow had came and killed them all.
Then I told her the weeks of staying inside by choice but the moment I tried to leave, how Shadow wouldn't allow me, even when I used the safeword.
"So here we are," I finished with a sigh.
"What was the safeword?" Her friend asked.
"It doesn't matter anymore. Obviously it needs to be changed. A word that will have Shadow knowing that if he goes against it that's the end of us," I huffed crossing my arms and leaning against the headboard.
"He's respected it every time but this one. What happened in the woods really set him off. Everything was going so well too."
"Oh Shadow," his sister looked sad as she stared off at the wall, getting that far away look in her eye that her and Shadow always got. I knew it had to be about the night his parents were killed. He had told me they had tortured them both and they both were helpless to help the other. She shuddered after a second and looked at me with a hard look in her eye. "Still, its no excuse how he's been treating you. You're supposed to be his lover, his best friend; he's supposed to treat you like a prince or king even. And instead he's been treating you like a slave, to do whatever he sees fit with. It's wrong Kai."
My shoulders slumped. Maybe she was seeing something I didn't from the outside looking in. Maybe my omega wolf was turning me too much into a submissive that I stopped noticing when things weren't right.
"But worry not young omega," her friend stood up and grinned at me. "He is not lost like many alphas. He simply needs a cleansing of the mind and soul. He's tortured from his past, has ptsd, attachment anxiety and paranoia," she said as if she were his therapist. "We want him to go on a retreat of sorts. Have you heard of ayahuasca?"
"No..." I said unsure how any of this was going to help Shadow.
She described it as being used throughout werewolf history. "It used to be mandatory that a wolf who became alpha had to submit themselves for treatment but overtime werewolves have lost their way. He needs to purge and expand his mind. He will go to a retreat where he will be cared for and take the ayahuasca during ceremony. His mind will transport him back to his past lives, it will soothe his fears, his worries. There is much more to it, you should also go, but during a different time, going with someone you know is unwise. You can't truly let go and speak your mind around those in your life. It's better to be surrounded by strangers during these ceremonies."
I sighed. "From what she explained it sounded like a shroom trip. It was hard to believe in a fix all drug. I looked at Sunshine to see if she was buying this. You'd think being a werewolf I would have a more open mind, but I haven't seen anything magical in the world other than humans shifting into wolves. So my mind was forced to only face reality and I had no time for wishful thinking on things like sitting at a campfire with strangers telling them my deepest darkest thoughts, tripping out on drugs and thinking I'll be a better person for it. Shadow for sure wasn't singing kumbaya and holding hands with randos.
"It's worth a try, every alpha I've sent to do it has come back changed Kai."
"As in brainwashed?" I stood up out of bed because it was starting to feel like I was being crowded and convinced to have Shadow drugged up and mind controlled. "Let's talk about this later," I held up a hand. "I'm leaving now. Shadow needs me." I wasn't sure how but I knew he did. We needed each other. We were yin and Yang and I needed my Yang back.