𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗

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𝙱𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚎 𝙻𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎

I shoved the door shut behind me as I searched through my purse. I threw it out on the counter, suddenly scurrying for a bottle of pills. 'Anxiety' pills, Cael called them. Anything to calm my nerves.

I pulled two into hand, before popping them into my mouth. I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and swallowed the pills.

My body sunk to the kitchen floor as I rested my back against the oven.

Was being a Slytherin really that bad? Was I also a villain? Was I also bad? Yes, I have been rude in school, but now? My surname already had me in a ditch, and I was lucky to have the order want me to work for them, but I'm still broken. What Harry said hurt, and he knew it.

My head was spinning as an anxiety attack hit me in the kitchen. I dropped my head forward, cupping it between my legs while I covered my ears.

Suddenly cold hands landed on my skin, and my head jerked up. Kyle was working in a different city for the next week, so not a way in hell was it him.

"You can't be here!" I said, suddenly rushing to my feet. "You have to go! They can't find you here! You shouldn't be here. Go!"

"Slow down," Mattheo said as he placed his hands on my upper arms. "Lee, what's wrong?"

"Theodore's out of Azkaban," I said in panic. "They know you're still alive. The entire ministry will be after you. Everyone wants you now. They'll think you're behind the dark marks. They think you're your father all over again - Mattheo, you have to leave! You cannot be in my kitchen! You can't be here-"

"Slow down," he chuckled, meeting my eyes. "Belle, I'm fine. I'll stay fine."

My breathing was heavy, and he saw it. He pulled me closer, and wrapped his arms around me. Mine curled up in front of me as I stood against him. He lightly tightened his arms around me, and I took a deep breath in, and exhaled slowly.

I missed his hugs. I missed them so fucking much.

"I know they know," he said. "I know Theodore's out of prison."

I closed my eyes, weakening and becoming vulnerable.

"They can come after me, but I won't budge. They can try, but they'll fail." He placed a kiss down onto my forehead. "They can't do anything to me, nor to you. I'll make sure of it. I promise you."

His promises felt safer that Kyle's. His felt genuine.

"Theodore can't hurt you either," he assured me. "He can't, because he owes me." He placed down another kiss. "Because I let him free."

My eyes shot open. Wait, what? I pulled back, and Mattheo let me. He looked down at me, pushing hair behind my ear.

"What do you mean you let him free?" I asked.

He cupped my face. "I gave myself up. Admitted I was alive. They let him go within twenty-four hours."

I took a step back, pulling my face from Mattheo's hands. "You let Theodore free?" I frowned. "Why the fuck would you do that?"

He frowned. "What's wrong?" he asked, reaching out to touch me again, but I hit his hand away, taking a few steps back.

"He took you away from me," I scoffed. "He took everything I had away from me. He ruined my life - and you just let him free-"

"I'm here now, Lee," Mattheo assured, walking closer to me, reaching out, but once again I hit his hands away.

"That doesn't matter!" I caught myself yelling. "Where the fuck were you these past eight years? What the hell happened to you? Why did you just disappear?"

"To protect you," he said, nearing me. "Belle, it was all for you-"

"Oh, please," I scoffed. I turned away and made my way to my room, and Mattheo followed.

"Belle, come on, princess. Listen to me!"

I pulled my underwear drawer open, before I dug into it. I pulled out a diary, and turned to him. He stopped in the doorway.

"You still have that?" he frowned.

"Read it nearly every day for six years," I told him. "I have it memorized."

He frowned, watching me throw the book onto my bed.

"Entry fifty-two. She's a craving. An addiction. Something about her had me spinning. Entry seventy-nine. I have to see her. I've been going crazy. I hope she has too. Two mentally crazy people craving each other - what could be better? Entry hundred and nine. Maybe she's over me. Maybe she hates me. My father would love the thought of that. Entry hundred and twenty-four. She's making me regret my life right now. She fucked someone else. Not me! And god I hated her for it, or I tried to. I tried to talk, but she wasn't having it. Fuck it."

Mattheo stared at me, his eyes widened.

"Don't come here and tell me you're here now. I needed you then! I lost my best friend, and the love of my life. So you shut the fuck up!" I yelled.

"Lee," he sighed. "I hoped that I would've given you comfort with that-"

"But you didn't," I bit.

"Lee-"

"Stop calling me that!" I yelled. "Don't call me that. My name is Belle. Belle Lestrange. I am who I am. Stop calling me Lee."

Suddenly he cupped my face, forcing me to look up at him. I did, my heart melted as he stared down at me.

"I revealed myself to be with you," he said. "I couldn't be without you. Not any longer. When I saw you, I caved. I had to have you."

I sighed. Kyle filled my head, and suddenly I got struck by guilt. Even if I wanted Mattheo back, I couldn't have him. Kyle had so much against me that I couldn't choose.

"I can't," I said, taking a step back. "I'm sorry, Mattheo. I-"

"Is it him?" he asked.

I sighed. "Yes," I said. "Kyle and I- we're-"

"I'll wait," Mattheo said, taking a step back, digging his hands into his pockets. "I'll wait for all eternity, if you can promise me that if you'll be able to choose me one day."

My heart raced. "Yes," I said softly.

He smiled softly. "But that doesn't mean I'll leave you. I'll be with you wherever you go," he told me. "I'll be there."

Suddenly the front door opened, and my head jerked its way. When I turned back to face Mattheo, he was gone.

"I brought pizza!" Cael yelled.

I groaned. Pizza night, of course.

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