And then he called me love (Minsung)

twenty-eight

Jisung woke up empty next to him, no one was lying there. He's probably gone already. He stretched his body all over the bed and then got up to go to the kitchen and get a glass of water. With half-closed eyes and still blurred vision from tiredness, he strolled into the kitchen and saw someone cooking in his kitchen.

He didn't realize it was Minho and jumped up in shock, but when he realized who it was he calmed down and rubbed his eyes. "What are you doing?" he asked in a sleepy voice to which Minho only answered with the word 'breakfast'. Jisung sighed and mumbled, "You are the guest. I should do it, and your arm is injured."

"I like doing it," the older one replied softly, putting a few rice balls on each plate. "You're way too nice Min," Jisung said in a low voice, rubbing his eyes with his palms one more time. 

"Should I be mean? Idiot," the older one said with a big smile, looking down at Jisung. "You're an idiot, not me," the other replied, and when their eyes met, Minho wanted nothing more than to kiss him, but stifled the thought.

The latter picked up both plates, put them on the table and waited for the younger one to sit down. They both started to ete in comfortable silence and Jisung thought that the food was incredible good and he knew he could never have done it himself. Minho could cook that was for sure.

The younger one grabbed one ball of rice from the other with his chopsticks and shoved it in his mouth. "You have exactly the same thing on your plate," he said, slightly annoyed, but still smiling, and Jisung answered him with a full mouth: "So what? I wanted this piece."

Minho rolled his eyes and took also a piece of Jisung's plate. 

"Idiot," he murmured.

Jisung smiled. He felt good, he felt safe around Minho. It was like he was perfect for him, almost too perfect. Like he found his soulmate. After they had eaten and Minho put everything in the sink, he said, "I should go now, Felix is ​​with Changbin and my darlings are alone and they definitely need affection and food, they must be hungry."

Jisung nodded and accompanied Minho to the front door, Minho walks out but turns around and looks at the other. Jisung also goes out and said quietly, "It was nice. I would like to do it again." The older one scanned Jisung from head to toe, his eyes his nose and lips. He caught his lips and said softly, "I'd love to kiss you right now." 

"Just fucking do it," Jisung said, pulling him towards him by his uninjured arm.

They locked eyes and Minho hugged Jisung by the waist to get even closer to him. His eyes wandered from Jisung's lips to his eyes. The smaller one wrapped his arms around the other's neck and their foreheads touched. 

He has beautiful eyes.

But as Jisung feeled Minho's breath on his lips, he removed his hands around Minho's neck and gently pushed him away by his chest. 

"Sorry. I can't do this... not yet," he said, steadying his gaze on the floor. Minho briefly felt like his heart was clenching, but he smiled and said, "It's okay. See you." The older one stepped back, waved, and left.

Jisung went back in, head down, slammed the door and fell down with tears in his eyes. He ran his hands through his hair with trembling hands and sighed. 

Why?

 That look from Minho... he looked so hurt. 

His hand went to his pocket where he pulled out his cell phone and tried to call jeongin. But it only beeped and no one answered, so he looked for Felix in his contacts and called him. "C-can you come over here?" was the first thing Jisung asked without even letting the other answer. Without asking, Felix said, "Yeah sure. I'll be right there, I'll hurry."
"T-Thanks," Jisung murmured in a cracked voice.

~

"I wanted to kiss him too, but when he touched me, I saw his face again, felt his fingers on me and I remembered everything again, all the punches, all the sleepless nights and the pain... I just want to be able to love normally. Felix, why can't I?" said Jisung crying. 

Felix wanted to hug him for comfort but Jisung backed away. "Sorry," he murmured , lowering his gaze. "It's okay Ji. Are you hungry? Shall I make you something to eat?" asked the one day younger and Jisung nodded even though he had only recently eaten something. He wrapped himself in his blanket and wiped away his tears.

A short time later felix came back with two ramen and handed one to his best friend. The older one slurped his noodles into his mouth but then started sobbing again. "Can I ever be in a relationship again without fear of being used, abused or cheated on?" he asked and it hurted Felix to see him like that.

He placed his unfinished ramen on the chouch table and rested his head on Felix's shoulder. Felix didn't know what to say but still managed to say something encouraging: "It will be fine okay? It got better alot . I can still remember how you acted shortly after you broke up with him. Nobody was allowed to touch you even a little. Not your parents, your friends, nobody and now look at you, you just leaned onto me by yourself."

Jisung moved closer to Felix, like he was a cat, and buried his face in his shoulder where he cried. The younger one stroked his hair and whispered, "You can do it. You are Han Jisung, and Han Jisung can do anything." Jisung nodded but couldn't stop crying. They stayed like that for some time. After a while Felix noticed how the breathing of the other became calmer and that he had fallen asleep.

The one who was still awake picked up his phone and texted his boyfriend that he would stay longer when suddenly Jisung's phone rang and Jeongin's name lit up. Felix grabbed the phone and moved as slowly as possible so as not to wake up the other and picked up. "Hey Ji. What's wrong?" Jeongin said and Felix replied, "He's sleeping. His PTSD got triggered, I guess he wanted you to come over here." 

"Oh shit. Oh my god I am so so sorry. I was busy and I didn't have my phone with me," Jeongin sighed loudly and you could hear in his voice that he was feeling bad.

"It's okay. Jisung won't be mad at you Innie," Felix said softly, looking at the sleeping one. The youngest sighed again and said, "When he wakes up, tell him I called." 

"I will. Bye Innie." 

"Bye Felix," he said and hung up. 

The latter looked at Jisung again, straightened his blanket and put a pillow under his head, which no longer rested on his shoulder as the elder had moved in his sleep.

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