Tag, You're It: Better Run - [Brahms Heelshire Fanfiction]

『N』『i』『n』『e』『t』『e』『e』『n』

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( Song: the red means I love you - Madds Buckley)

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TW - police brutality; self harm (scars) mentioned; death (!) (Not from Brahms); cutting

"You are acting as if she died yesterday!" Carolyn yelled now, I scoffed and looked away.

"It's over, okay? She's gone. Why don't you get it? She's been gone for 14 years, [Y/n]!" She said and threw her hands into the air. My breath started to heavy and I tried to keep calm.

"I know." I brought out.

"Then why are you acting as if you don't? Please! You're a police officer and you became one for her. What you're doing right now is not what she would've wanted." Carolyn claimed. She was making me angry.

"What do you know about what she wanted?" I whispered and closed my eyes, feeling the rage growing inside my stomach. How could she say such things?

"Excuse me? I was also her friend. So stop acting as if her death isn't affecting me too." She said and I scoffed and chuckled slightly.

"I never said that. Stop twisting my words around. You're the one who's telling me to get over it." I said and pointed at her.

"Because you're acting like a child!" She yelled.

"Well, let me act like a child! Stop telling me to get over something you have no idea how I feel about!" I yelled back and started packing some of my things after turning around. Why doesn't she get it? Why can't she get that I wasn't her. Why can't she get?!

"No idea? I was there too, [Y/n]! Did you forget?!" Smashing my shirt into my bag, I turned back around, tilting my head forward.

"Repeat yourself, please." I said quietly.

"I was there too." She claimed a second time.

"You? There?! Are you fucking kidding me!? You WERE NOT THERE! YOU WEREN'T THE ONE WHO GOT SHOT! YOU WERE NOT THE ONE WHO HELD HER IN THEIR ARMS, COVERED IN HER BLOOD." I screamed, throwing my arms up. Carolyn stepped back as I exploded into anger.

"YOU ARE NOT THE ONE WHO STILL GETS NIGHTMARES BECAUSE OF IT. YOU'RE NOT THE ONE WHO WENT TO FUCKING THERAPY FOR FIVE FUCKING YEARS." Heavily breathing, I looked at her, my bag tight in my hands. I didn't even realize I grabbed it.

"You're not the one who fell in love with her. You're not the one who tried to do anything to make her stay. Who promised to protect her. You were not there." I claimed. Then I let the bag fall, pushed her aside as I passed her and walked out of the room.

"She would hate you." I heard from behind me before I could reach the door to leave. I looked down.

"She's gone. Get over it, right?" I whispered, then I left without another word.

Remembering, I didn't drive with my car and I quickly headed to the busy side of the city and called for a taxi. As I sat into the car, I noticed that I was scratching my arms. Carefully pulling the sleeves of my sweater, I noticed how red my scars were. With a sigh, I covered them with my hands and let the driver take me back to the Heelshire's.

He drove me right to the big castle, so I paid him a bit extra and left the car. Then I walked into the house and called for Brahms who just a moment later, poked his head out of the living room.

"Where is the scar creme I bought?" I asked and looked at him, he walked up to me.

"In the bathroom." He said.