Tag, You're It: Better Run - [Brahms Heelshire Fanfiction]

『T』『w』『e』『n』『t』『y』 『f』『i』『v』『e』

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It's been a few days since Kai left and he hasn't shown up yet nor called or sent me a text. Nothing. He was gone. He didn't want to do anything with me anymore.

With a small sigh, I turned around in my bed, next to Brahms. He was sleeping while I couldn't dare to close my eyes. Everytime I tried to close my eyes, I saw Kai's tears filled and shocked eyes. It just didn't leave my mind and when I tried to talk with Brahms about it he said that it will go away.

I knew it would go away, maybe one day, maybe when I can forgive myself but.. What if it won't? What if I can't overcome the guilt that I had inside me and that didn't want to go away?

Has Brahms ever felt that way? Like he knew that the guilt might never leave?

"Why are you awake?" I suddenly heard and turned to Brahms, he opened his eyes and they met mine in the darkness. I sighed.

"I can't sleep." I said honestly. A soft, small smile grew on his face and I felt his hand on my cheek. He was so sweet sometimes.. Some other times he was an emotionless prick but I was fine with that.

"Have you ever felt.. guilt? Like something was your fault?" I whispered and closed my eyes a little, leaning into his touch. Then I looked at him again, he had a sad expression on his face.

"Yeah.." He whispered back after a moment that we stayed silent. I sat up and looked down on him. With a sigh, he also sat up and tilted his head, looking at me.

"Who were they?" I asked softly and noticed how Brahms disconnected for a moment, then he blinked and shrugged his shoulders.

"He was... he was my only friend.. and.." He stopped, a sad smile growing on his lips. My hands found his cheek and he closed his eyes, leaning into my touch like I did just a minute ago.

"He died.. Because of me." He finished. I pressed my lips together and sighed. He must've liked him if he was so.. sad about it. Brahms seemed to miss him.

"But whatever.. it's been years.. so.." He turned away, stood up and left the room. I cursed myself for asking him and laid back down. I guess he will stay inside the walls for the rest of the day. As always.

But I was used to it, so I didn't mind it much anyway. It was his comfort place, he was allowed to go there, if he wanted to and stay there how long he wanted to. His house, his rules.

Hours went by when I finally left my room while the sun slowly came out and I made myself some breakfast. I also made something for Brahms and placed it on the counter. If he wants to eat, he can come and take it.

My phone rang and I picked it up.

"So? No call from you for two months?!" Carolyn yelled into the phone without a hello or anything similar. I sighed and held my phone a bit away from my ear.

"You could've called too, or not?" I asked calmly and sat back down on my chair, leaning back.

"Now, tell me, what the hell are you doing?" She said then. Even though she couldn't see me, I shrugged my shoulders and didn't answer.

"I've been thinking about what you said. You wanted to apologize to him or something, so what happened? What did you do?" She asked and a small sigh was coming out.

"No, I don't wanna tell you, okay? I'm too tired and not in the mood to talk with you right now." I said honestly when my attention changed to a picture on the wall. It probably always hung there, I just ignored it.