Worth, Love (The Fever Of Desire)

5.

Chapter 5.

Imagine My Surprise

"Where have you been?"
I jumped and flicked the light in the living room on. "Alex- what- What the hell are you doing sitting in the dark?!"

"That doesn't matter, Tareea." My name was harsh on his tongue. "I came back home earlier than planned thinking- I should've been a bit nicer and yet you're not here. It's 8pm I've been here since 2. Now you show up with this dress on just showing off what's mine huh?"

After the lounge Mavis and I walked around the block, looking in the stores and getting a few things while we let the alcohol wear off. Then I went to her house and hung out before we left out again going to the movies and more shopping then dinner.

I let out a sigh and drop my shopping bags. "Whatever Alex I don't feel like going through this with you. I'm grown I can do what I want- just like you." I took my heels off and set them to the side.

He stood up. "Oh so what you tryna say Tareea?! You been out fucking like me? You got a nigga out here buying you that shit while he taps huh?" He laughed humorlessly.

"Oh my God Alex how many times do I have to tell you that I'm not fucking other people?! HOW MANY?!" I snapped.

"I don't FUCKING BELIEVE IT!" He stepped up to me.
"Well that sounds like a personal problem. You'd have to pay me to give two fucks."
"Just tell me where you were." He said in faux calm, gripping my shoulders so that I wouldn't walk away.

I rolled my eyes, "I went out with a girlfriend. Happy?"
"You don't have any friends Tareea." His grip tightened.
"Oh but I have another dude?" I scoffed.
"Don't play with me- Were you with that guy from last time?"
"No. I was out with his wife actually."

"Where?"
"Just out and about, shopping. Dinner, lunch, drinks. All of that. You know things girls do."

He released my shoulders only to cup my face and pull me into a kiss. Feelings snaked through me as I melted into him reciprocating his heated kiss. He moved his hands down to my ass and I wrapped my arms around his neck. My heart thundered and I smiled into the kiss.

I moaned a little as he groped my bottom, feeling his hands easily through the thin fabric of my dress. I could feel him poking my stomach. "Baby~ I need you," he groaned pulling me close and rutting against me. I pecked his jaw and neck before pulling away. "Considering the fact that the girls you cheat on me with don't have a thing on my ass, I don't think you'll be able to handle it." I went and picked up my bags to take upstairs.

He stood there stunned for a bit as I walked up the stairs to my room. I started putting all my stuff away hoping the heat between my legs would go away. I wasn't particularly hot for Alex- God no. He wasn't getting any of me until I got all of him. But surely I couldn't help but to react to those familiar touches.

"Tareea, you really gonna leave me hanging?"
"I said I wasn't going to fuck you until you get loyal." I said in a level tone without turning to him.

"Stop playing like you don't want my dick Tareea-" I jolted and shrieked a little feeling his naked length on my back. I turned and pushed him away immediately I was turned all the way off.

"I don't! Damn what don't you understand?" I felt acid in the back of my throat at the sight of his nakedness. All I could think about was all the other people who had touched his body, I couldn't help it. He wasn't even gone a full day but he was littered in marks, that weren't made by me.

Tears welled in my eyes. "How could I wanna fuck you when your marked by those bitches you spend weeks with?!" I screamed turning my sadness into rage.

He rolled his eyes and pulled back on his boxers. "Whatever. You're really not even worth the fuck you know? The only thing attractive about you is that fat ass, why else would I run to those skinny bitches?" He laughed harshly as he spoke, his words piercing my heart. "You barely even try to get pretty like you use to. Just walking around big and fucking ugly. At least you know how to cook a good damn meal." He said all this while getting dressed. "I'm not gonna be back anytime soon." With that he left. 

I heard the front door close and then revving of the engine followed by the car driving off. I dropped to my knees and sobbed into my hands. I couldn't help it as the sobs and wails racked through my body.

Why wasn't I good enough?
Why wasn't I pretty enough?
Why wasn't I skinny enough?

The thoughts swirled around my mind, thoughts I tended to push back and ignore. I also wondered how he could do this to me? How could he say this to me?

- Flashback

"Tareea, happy anniversary babes- Babe?" I was too weak to get out of the tub so I just laid there hoping he would leave, that he would think I wasn't in my apartment. But I wasn't that lucky...or unlucky.

He walked in, took one look at me and dropped the flowers and chocolates in his hands. "TAREEA!" He screamed in a panic as he took me in. Sitting in the empty tub, surrounded by alcohol. Beat up and cut too, although the cuts were my own personal touch.

I turned my face away from him, I just wanted to die. Then all of the pain would stop. My eyes closed and whispered my goodbye to him. But death never found me. The reaper didn't come to get my soul and take me off to the land of the dead with my Gran.

Instead I woke up to white walls and background beeping. My throat dry and my eyes hurting from the blinding lights. I felt weight on my legs as my vision cleared. I looked down to see Alex sleeping. "Alex?" I croaked.

-End of Flashback

What happened to that man? The man who forced me to press charges in my abuser? The one who helped me pay for therapy and held me close at night when the nightmares clawed at the faint marks on my body.

I slept on the floor that night. Too heartbroken and weak to get in bed or even take off my dress.

_End.

How do you guys feel about the lil peek into her past???