The Princess & The Thief

Chapter 17-Unsaid Emily

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"Go easy on me, baby,"
"I was still a child,"
"Didn't get the chance to,"
"Feel the world around me,"
"I had no time to choose what I chose to do,"
"So, go easy on me..."
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Julie's POV

After their practice ended late that afternoon, Julie noticed that Luke didn't leave with the others, but wandered off towards the other end of the castle.

She remembered Reggie telling her about him liking the high tower up in the east wing, so that's where she imagined he was heading. Julie thought about all he'd been through that day, even if it was mostly because of her, and thought that he was probably still going through a lot. She knew that if she was in his position, she wouldn't have wanted to be alone, so maybe he didn't either.

Luke was balled up in the window seat when she opened the door to the dusty little library, just as they'd said he'd be. He was turned away from her, staring out across the lands that were visible for miles and miles. His acoustic guitar lay in front of him, like he'd abandoned the desire to play. A wrinkled sheet of paper was clutched in one of the hands that circled his knees, and Julie didn't need to read it to know what it was.

She shut the door behind her silently. "Luke?"

He startled, swiftly wiping at his face, and with a jolt she'd realized he'd been crying. Julie wondered if she should leave him be.

"Hey," his voice was thick as he turned to her, "what are you doing up here?"

"I thought I would check on you..." she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, taking a step towards the door, "but I can go if you want to be alone."

"No, no, stay." He sniffed, shifting to let his feet rest on the floor. "I think I'd prefer your company over whatever this is."

He moved his guitar and Julie sat next to him on the cushion. They pondered in slightly awkward silence for a moment. Julie didn't want to do anything stupid, like ask if he was okay, and she was trying to figure out how to word the other thing she needed to say.

Might as well get it over with. "I um..." she cleared her throat, "I never really apologized like I should have, for everything that's happened these past couple of days. I said some really, really awful things to you and I wish I could take them all back...but I can't, so I'm so sorry."

She knew they were already on friendly terms again, but Julie still couldn't bring herself to meet his eyes after she finished talking.

"Thanks Jules," she could hear the smile in his voice so she looked up, "and again, I'm sorry that we completely bailed on you, that I bailed on you. It was such a careless, dick move."

"Maybe but...Luke why didn't you just tell me about what you're going through right now?"

A whisper of a scoff. "Because at that point I'd just be using it as an excuse, which would've been even worse."

"I'd still understand though." She gently rested a hand over his. "I mean, you're grieving—"

She almost jumped at how abruptly he stood up. "I shouldn't even get the right to grieve Julie!" Luke tore a hand through his hair. "I left them. I wanted to pursue music and when they didn't support me I was the one that decided I'd rather live without them! And the worst part is that I miss them, so much. Every. Freaking. Day. I know they looked for me, I know they never stopped looking for me, even after I said some of the things that I did to my mom. I went back and saw them, but I was too much of a coward to let them see me because I felt like a failure with my music." Luke took a shuddering breath. "And now, even if I've 'made it' it's too damn late to go back and fix things. I mean, what would that make me look like?"