Facade

Chapter 17

    Alex was all I could think about. What happened at the lake kept replaying over and over again in my mind, but instead of feeling mortified or disturbed, I felt something else. Something indescribable and all I could explain it as was the churning of my stomach and the pounding of my heart. It was strange and it left me wondering.

    Currently, I was in a carriage with Philip. Mother had forced me to go on another date with him, so I sat as far as possible away from him in the carriage we shared as we rode around town. It was oddly peaceful with him for once, so I was left to ponder over yesterday.

    I stared out of the carriage and thought about Alex. I thought about who he was and realized once again that he was one of the townspeople. Unlike me who was royalty, he was someone who wasn't rich either. He was a regular person and that was different than who I was.

     I was a princess, a ruler, and my life was generally much different than his. My life consisted of balls and glamour, and his consisted of nature and freedom. We were too different and even if we weren't, Mother would never let me date a regular boy. As a princess, I was expected to marry a prince. It was a rule and I wondered why I ever thought about kissing Alex.

     "Is this the centre of the town?" Philip asked.

    I zoned back in and realized we were near the fountain. Because it was the afternoon, the area was packed with families. Children were talking and parents were chatting, but my eyes still searched for one boy. One boy who didn't end up being there, leaving me disappointed, even though I had run off on him.

    "Yeah," I said quietly, thinking about Alex once again.

   I had needed a distraction badly, so I knew that was why I dared try to kiss Alex. I wasn't thinking straight and because we were in such an intimate moment, I had acted on feelings that didn't exist.

   I knew I didn't think of Alex in that way. For reasons such as we were so different and that we didn't seem to fit in the way couples should, I knew we would never be anything more than friends. I knew it especially because of Alexander, who I had truly fallen for.

   My heart skipped a beat at the thought of him, realizing I hadn't seen him in forever. Our last dance was still fresh in my mind and I remembered his touch clearly, sending a shiver through me. Alexander was gorgeous and elegant, and I knew I was in love with him. There was no one else in the picture.

     "God Diana," Philip suddenly said, bringing my attention to him. "You're so boring. I don't know how we'll have an enjoyable marriage."          

   My eyes widened and with my mind on Alexander, my heart sunk. There was no other man I wanted. I didn't want to be taken by anyone - especially by Philip - because I was already in love. Alexander was a prince, so maybe Mother would be fine with me being with him. I just needed Philip to leave me alone.

    "I don't want to marry you," I said honestly.

    Phillip immediately scowled at my words, his eyebrows furrowing. His eyes hardened in a way that left me shrinking, wondering what kind of person Philip truly was.

    "Diana, we went over this," he said, evidently trying to remain calm. "What you want doesn't matter. It is our destiny to get married."

    "No it's not," I said, oddly confident as I talked back to him. "I don't like you. I will never like you. We won't get married because that's my worst nightmare."

    Philip took a sharp intake of breath and for a moment, he actually seemed surprised. From that single moment, I could tell Philip was used to getting his way. Clearly he had been spoiled throughout his life and I was glad that I was teaching him a lesson.

    "Diana, stop being so difficult," Philip said, repeating the words he had once said to me. "You don't know anything. Trust me when I say that by marrying you, I am doing a whole bunch of people a favour."

    There were the words again: You don't know anything. They were words spoken by Mother many times, and now Philip was saying them. I understood why Mother had constantly said it, but I didn't know why he did. The thought made my stomach sink, knowing there would be more unwanted surprises coming my way.

    "I don't care," I said, my heart pounding, my nausea rising. "I will never, ever, marry you."

    Philip scowled and his eyes turned cold. They filled with a hatred and I knew I would never marry him. Not when he had the capability of looking at me like that.

    "You know what stupid girl!" Philip snapped, causing me to wince. "You must marry me or I'll expose your Mother's secret!"

    The second those words were out, I froze, stunned. My eyes went wide and I stared at Philip who was emitting rage. I couldn't believe it, he knew. Philip knew and he was actually black mailing me with Mother's secret.

    "You know?" I asked, my eyes frozen wide.

    "Obviously." He scoffed. "I've known for years."

    Years? A wave of nausea hit me and I wanted to leave the carriage, but there were questions I wanted answers to.

     "Why?" I asked, breathless.

     "Ask her," he said, smirking. "I think you should get the answer from the mouth of the slut."

    Anger flared up in me and I glowered at him. "Don't call my mother a slut! Your father is just as bad!"

    "Yes, he's a cheater. But at least he doesn't sleep with multiple people."

    I was dumfounded for a mere second, but then I took in his words. The words sunk in deep and would never leave my system as I realized his implication.

    "Mother isn't just sleeping with your father?" I asked, heart racing.

    "No, and before you ask me who she's sleeping with I have no idea." Philip smirked. "Ask her yourself one day and get educated on this corrupted life you have."

    I really wanted to throw up after taking in his words. Mother had always sneered about girls who slept with anyone that wasn't their husbands. She was disgusted by any girl who slept with more than one man. But that was exactly what she was doing and I had no idea why. It was so hard to process that I just sat in the carriage in silence, too stunned to speak.

    But soon, Philip broke the silence.

    "So you see why you must marry me, right?" Philip said, wearing a smug look.

    I didn't say anything because I understood. I already did, yet he continued.

    "I will tell everyone what a slut your mother is," he said, spitting out the words viscously. "I swear on it."

    "Okay," I whispered to that, knowing I was trapped.

    I was trapped, just like I had been my entire life. I had no choice and no say in what I wanted, and as usual, it was for Mother. Mother who had never treated me right and held many dirty secrets that I was slowly finding out.

    But because she was my Mother, I slid closer to Philip. I ignored the triumph look he shot me as he put an arm around me, pulling me to his side. So even though his touch was unwelcoming and cold, I allowed it. To protect Mother, it seemed like I would marry a disgusting man.