Eucatastrophe ~ h.s.

✗ nine ✗

SHAY

The rest of the morning ran rather smoothly for me, as apposed to how my mornings had been going before. The fact alone that I slept for more than two hours was enough to put a small smile on my face and give me the hope that everything could go back to normal. But my morning just continues to get better, little by little.

Harry made me a lovely breakfast of toast, eggs, bacon, and tea. It was delicious, though I only ate half my toast and a couple bites of eggs and bacon, and on top of that I didn't lose it like I thought I would. That bit of food is giving me enough energy to do something other than sit on my ass like I have been.

I got a shower in; a shower in which I kept to less than thirty minutes surprisingly. I got dressed in clothes other than leggings or sweatpants and an oversized jumper. This time when I appeared before a mirror I couldn't help but slowly start to see the girl I once knew appear again. She's starting to look better, still ill looking, but better.

But now, now it's quiet.

Harry and I have been sat out on his patio for the past hour in nothing but silence. I've been avoiding his potent stare and silent urges for me to talk and he's being his pushy self whilst trying to keep his need for me to speak at bay. I applaud him for keeping quiet thus far. I never knew he had it in him. And I it's taking this time to muster up as much courage as I can to tell him what happened that night.

In order to help myself I'm going to tell him everything. I'm not going to shy away from details; I'm going to tell him the cold, hard truth.

"Okay." I finally announce, bringing my knees up to my chest and resting my head atop my bony knees. My voice must have startled Harry, because he jumps ever so slightly. "I'm going to talk." I begin, watching him carefully. "I'm going to tell you everything because I honestly just can't take the silence anymore. But you have to promise me something."

"Anything."

"After this, you can't bring it up again. You just can't. I want this time to be the last time I have to talk about this with you, or anyone else for the matter." Harry nods right away. I know he'd do anything for me just to open up and speak with him.

"Okay, well-"

It takes a total of twenty minutes to get the whole story out through broken sentences and sobs that rack through my body. Harry keeps his distance from me, sitting upon the chair to my right, but listens intently. It's as if my hurt is hurting him as I speak. I can't help but see something flash beyond those beautiful green eyes of his. And after I'm finished, we just sit in silence; the only sound is my own tears coming to an end.

I feel oddly better though. I feel as if the weight that has been resting on my shoulders, pulling me down and dragging me along the ground, is no longer there. I feel like I can fully breathe for the first time since that night. I'm feeling better overall, aside from the churning in my stomach that's clearly from lack of eating. But I feel good.