✗ sixty-five ✗

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A/N: Extra long chapter here for you guys! Enjoyyyyy! ✗

A/N: Extra long chapter here for you guys! Enjoyyyyy! ✗

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HARRY

29 December

"She's never going to come back."

I hate myself.

I hate everything about myself.

I hate the fact that I didn't do anything when Becca pulled me into her. I hate myself for not pushing her away before it was too late. I hate that I didn't try harder to get her off of me. I hate myself for the sadness that took over Shay's features after she saw Becca's lips on mine. I hate everything about that night.

What started off as a beautiful Christmas, turned into the worst Christmas I've ever had.

I haven't spoken with Shay since she left my parent's home on Christmas, three days ago. She won't answer my text messages, won't pick up her phone when I call, won't listen to my constant pleas for her to come home so I can explain everything to her.

The only solace I've found is from a phone call I had with Gemma after she dropped Shay off at Moxy's place. She cursed me out for a while, and then heard me out before assuring me she was all right. But that's it.

I miss her voice. I miss hearing her sing along to whatever Adele or Ed Sheeran song comes on the radio. I miss hearing her laugh when I tell one of my stupid jokes.

It's not the same staying in this house without her here. It's lonely and cold. It's too quiet without hearing another's footsteps patter against the hardwood floor. I don't sleep well when she's not by my side, there's nobody to hold close and have a cuddle. I've not gotten more than five hours of sleep in the last three days, not since she left in tears.

My heart broke when she did.

I didn't want to kiss Becca; I promise I didn't. She grabbed me, but I did little to stop her.

Once my brain caught up to what was happening around me it was too late, our lips were already together.

"Harry, would you get the door, dear?" I scoff playfully at her request, interrupting me from saying something to my auntie. Mum hits me in the chest and rolls her eyes as I just laugh and agree to get the door.

You'd think the fact that there's probably an abundance of noise coming from the interior of the house the party guests would just let themselves in, but no.

I take a peek into the kitchen, seeing Shay laugh to something Gemma said, the both of them cackling so loudly that the rest of the guests would be able to hear them if the music was gone.

God, I love her laugh. I could listen to it all day.

With a heavy sigh, I turn the knob and pull the door open, smiling at the person on the other end. My face falls though when I see who it is. She's leaning up against the doorway, a shit eating grin upon her lips.

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