Make It Right (Dave East)

47.

Dave-

"You sure you don't want nothing?" I asked Bianca as she laid in my bed after showering this morning.

She just shook her head.

I sighed and walked out.

All she does is wake up get in the shower and lay back down. This had been going on for almost a week now.

No we haven't tried to get Rock yet a mainly because the depression B is going through right now is horrible and I need to stay with her at all times.

I had to finally put her phone on the charger cause she just left it die not caring.

Ashley, Ella, and Selena have been trying to see her but she said no.

She still hasn't eaten and I'm starting to get more and more worried about her.

I turned around going back to my room to talk to her.

I walked in closing the door behind me and she looked at me sitting up sighing.

"D I really don't want to do this right now." She mumbled looking down.

"We are going to talk and that's it. I don't care how much you hate talking and don't want to we are going to talk. You want to start or shall I?" I asked her.

She ran her hands through her hair sighing heavily.

"Let's start with how are you feeling?" I asked.

"I don't know." She answered as her voice cracked. "I don't want to feel anything anymore." She said barely above a whisper.

"Don't talk like that B." I said to her now I was beyond worried about her.

"No Dave I been picking up the shattered pieces of my fucking life for months. I got a glimpse of happiness and that got snatch away from me again. I don't want to do this anymore." She said with no emotion what so ever.

It broke my heart that this really all started with me. If I would've gotten it together she wouldn't of gone through any of this.

"You have so much to live for. You have multiple people who love you fuck the people who don't they never deserved to know you like that. We fucking love you, our son loves you and I'm sure he is watching over his mommy making sure you're good. God never put more on us than we can handle you're one of the strongest people I know you over come everything coming out on top. I don't want to hear you ever speaking like this again." I told her making her look me in the eyes.

"It so hard David I don't want keep going through bullshit anymore when am I going to get a break? When will my happiness come and never leave? I don't want to be fucking strong anymore. I had to grow up soon as my momma died I didn't get to enjoy my child hood we all grew up and had to turn to the streets it's not fair. I just don't want to feel anything." She told me breaking down.

I pulled her up into my lap and she had her head in her hands.

"B look at me." I told her.

"Now." I stated when she wouldn't and she sighed hiccuping trying to keep her tears in looking at me with drained eyes that used to look at me with so much life and love I just want to get her back to that. I have to.

"Let me be strong for you. Let me hold you up the way I should've been did. I'm not trying to get back with you or nothing like that I simply want to see you happy again. Let me take all that off your shoulders you can kick scream hit yell anything I'll be right here to take it all. I hate fucking seeing you like this. Let me be your backbone until you can get back to who you were before all of this. I believe in you more than anything. You will be okay and you will be consistently happy. I've been horrible at keeping my word and promises but hear me when I tell you I'm not going no where you push everybody away like you've been doing but I will stand here making sure you good. I love you and I'm not losing you so let's get through this shit together. You'd never let me go through this by myself and I should've never left you to so let me be here now." I told her and she just hugged me tightly not saying anything. I wrapped my arms around her and she mumbled "Thank you."

"For what?" I said because honestly I haven't done anything worth a thank you.

"For always being there. We've had a rocky road but no matter what I knew I'd be able to count on you through anything. No matter the argument or what we said to each other I know you'll always be the one person who I can fully trust to have my back through any situation. Every hurtful thing we've said to each other was out of love which sounds weird to say but it's what happens sometimes. I always try my hardest to hurt you in our arguments when I shouldn't but it was only because you hurt me and I couldn't figure out any better way to hurt you than by using my words. I still love you Dave I know I tried so hard to make sure I told you I didn't every chance I got but I was trying to protect myself. Thanks for being my friend, my best friend before anything I'll always appreciate you no matter what we've been through." She said to me and it brought a smile to myself.

Anybody who knows me knows this girl is my whole heart. I fucked up in countless ways and she is still right here loving me more than anybody besides my momma ever has. I would have to spend my whole life showing her how much I appreciate her.

"You don't have to thank me I owe you a thank you for sticking around when I don't deserve it. I fucked you over and somehow in your heart you still find a way to love me. I don't deserve you in my life but I know you'd never abandon me the way I've done you before and I appreciate that beyond words. I didn't deserve for you to stick around when my momma died I had just done you so wrong before that and you went ahead and stayed by me until it was your breaking point. You didn't deserve nothing I said to you those many times I tried to hurt you and I'm sorry." I told her and she nuzzled her face into my neck.

"I forgave you D a long time ago. I know you're sorry I forgive you." She mumbled wrapping her arms around my neck as I held her.

"D can you please make me a promise and keep it?" She asked me after a moment of silence.

"Anything baby girl." I said removing one of her arms from around my neck and head sling out my pinky.

This might be corny but her and I have been making promises like this since we were kids we stopped doing this a long time ago and that's when I stopped actually keeping my promises but from here on out I was keeping every promise we make no matter what.

She laughed lowly and held out her pinky.

"Hold me and never let me go. Please." She pleaded.

I wrapped my pinky around hers "I promise. I swear."