The Mother He Never Had

20

"Why were you spying on us, Jiraiya? Did Iruka put you up to it?" I asked with a frown. "Hey, hey! Take it easy, Haru! I wasn't spying on you! Then again..." Jiraiya grabbed my hand and began rubbing his face against it like he was a cat begging for attention.

"Who wouldn't spy on an attractive woman like yourself?" He complimented as hearts danced around his face. I sighed while closing my eyes. "If you'd like, I'd be happy to pleasure you a hundred times a day, my lady." 

An irk mark appeared on my head before I swung my leg up, kicking Jiraiya under his chin. He landed on his back with a hard thud as I crossed my arms over my chest with an unamused look on my face.

"You never change, do you, Jiraiya? No doubt, you're up to your perverted antics again." I said. "Uh... Mom? Who is this guy to you again?" Naruto asked. "Let's just say Jiraiya is a bigger pervert than Ebisu," I told him before sighing.

"If you're done spying on us, can I get back to training my son?" 

"Your son?" Jiraiya repeated. He looked at me, then at Naruto, then at me again. "But that can't be right. He looks nothing like you."

"Of course he doesn't," I sweat dropped. "I adopted this cute little spunky kid," I said as I ruffled Naruto's hair, in which he chuckled and pushed my hand away. "Anyway, let's get back to work, Naruto."

"Yeah!" Naruto agreed. "Jiraiya, I could use some assistance in training Naruto, if you don't mind." I requested. "Oh?" Jiraiya asked. "Eh? But I thought you were gonna train me, Mom?" Naruto whined.

"I am going to train you, silly. With Jiraiya's help." I mentioned. "Are you serious?! What can this pervert teach me?!" Naruto yelled. "You'd be surprised." I mentioned.

"What do you mean?"

"Believe it or not, but I was once Jiraiya's student."

"No kidding?!"

"It's true. However, I was only able to learn a few things from him because I left him." 

"Left him? Like, he stopped teaching you?"

"No, not quite. You see, I asked him to stop training me because... Well, it's kind of a long story, and I don't feel like talking about it right now. But seriously, Naruto. There are some techniques Jiraiya can teach you. Even techniques that I don't know."

"Yeah, right! I bet the only thing he'll be able to teach me is how to spy on naked girls!" 

"Hey, I heard that!" Jiraiya yelled. "Now, boys..." I said, trying to stop a fight before it could start. "I bet it's true! What, do you spy on girls all day or something!" Naruto yelled. "You brat! Why I outta...!" Jiraiya yelled back. 

I sighed and hit both of them on top of their heads. "Ow!" They both yelped. "No fighting, please." I requested, calmly. "Yes, ma'am." They replied at the same time while rubbing their heads.

"But come on, Mom. I have complete control of my chakra now." Naruto mentioned. "So?" I asked. "So, I'm sure I'll be able to master your techniques! Plus, if I get into any real trouble, I can always use those techniques! Like if I ever fight that Orochimaru creep-! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!"

I interrupted Naruto as I grabbed his ear and tugged him away from Jiraiya so we could talk in private. "If you'd excuse us, Jiraiya..." I said as I pulled Naruto away. "Of course." He said. When we were out of Jiraiya's hearing range, I let go of Naruto's ear. 

"Listen to me, Naruto. You may have full use of your chakra now, but let's not forget you also have the Nine-Tails sealed inside you." I whispered. "So what?" Naruto whispered back.