"But if that accident is inevitable," I murmur, eyes softening. "Would you want me to let go?"
Jeongguk pauses for a moment. "Leave the guilt and regret to me," he replies softly. "Once you start a journey, you finish it. It's only right for you to...
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i don't remember the last time i stared into my reflection in the mirror.
my hair, now curled up, lay drooping over my shoulders. there are flower pins tucked in them; white carnations instead of typical roses that i had picked out after getting bombarded with questions by my mother when i arrived home. people would say roses are the most beautiful flowers in the world, but in all honesty, i think other flowers deserve to be loved equally too.
the eyes that stare back at me in my reflection are piercing, and they aren't the eyes i've been familiar with before. my face is covered in makeup, and compared to before, i look more painted with life this way.
i also noticed that the hired makeup artists were giving me odd glances when i walked into this room 2 hours ago. maybe it's the chapped lips, or the heavy eyebags. maybe even the way i dragged my legs in as if even moving an inch would require days worth of rest.
but at this point, i'm too exhausted to care about how i look. would it really matter what impression i have on them anyway?
i'm left in the room alone, standing in front of a tall mirror with the image of a young teenager, ready to have her life claimed and linked to a man she doesn't love. to others, this day would be the best in their entire lives. but to me, it's just plain torture.
the white dress that hugs my body is long, part of it even sweeping the floor. there are pretty flowers embrodied in the cloth, and a veil is on my head, pulled back just so that it doesn't get in the way.
"you look beautiful."
my mother's voice beam from behind me and i turn around slowly, seeing a smile on her face. i don't know whether my heart should melt or harden at that. she steps closer to me and takes me by the hand as she looks into our reflections in the mirror.
"you're doing the right thing, sweetheart."
one moment i'm standing in the middle of the dressing room and then the next, i'm taking slow and small steps down the aisle. people are standing with anticipating smiles on their faces. i don't recognise any of them.
my heart is pounding with every step i take. thank god the dress is long enough to conceal my trembling legs. my fingers clench around the bouquet of flowers in my hand.
the feeling in my chest is heavy, weighing me down. and jeongguk's words find their way back into my mind. perhaps, they never left.
"don't let the world drag you away from what you deserve."
one more step. two more. three more. four.
until i find myself standing in front of the man i'm going to marry and he raises the veil concealing my face. i take in a deep breath and bite the insides of my cheek, reminding myself to not be so nervous. because people are staring at me like wolves, waiting to pounce, to ravish, to tear me apart. i never liked too much attention, and right now it is exceeding my limits.
