His Queen

Chapter 18 : Darkness

Rhysands Point of View:

My face falls onto my desk for the third time this morning. My body demands sleep but my racing thoughts deny it. Exhaustion can't seem to leave me.

Last night was some of the worst sleep I had ever gotten. I tossed and turned, even went on a late night walk to calm my wolf but nothing did the trick. I'd like to blame that on the fact that I was just distracted with pack matters, but in reality all that was on my mind was Onalee, or Ali, as Ezra had referred to her as. I should probably ask her which one she prefers and then call her the other.

My wolf growls inside my head. He has been a moody guy lately. I know he believes I am depriving him of his rightful mate, but I am trying to save us the pain and heartbreak that will come when she eventually leaves because they always do. It is bound to happen in the end. Keeping my distance from Ali is a precaution, as selfish as I sounds.

I had climbed out of bed and dragged my body to the pack house before shutting myself in its confinement. After a few financial reports, boarder schedules, and building proposals I couldn't stay still. Every fiber in my body aches to be near her, to smell her scent, and, as much as it annoys me, hear her beautiful voice. Ali's face constantly runs through my mind. She is like a plague in my thoughts. Her blonde curls and forest green eyes that draw me in. Ali is like a precious gem that I can't afford.

I had mind linked one of my best warriors, Ash, to train her. I knew that they were probably off training in the woods. I also knew that Ali probably hated me for ditching her at Maya's and sending the miniature devil to her door step. Miniature devil referring to Ash. She was a special spunky female with red hair as fiery as her personality. Ash had been my sisters best friend and we had become close over these past years. We had both gone through hardship and loss but nothing besides friendship was between us. I had made that clear from the beginning and Ash had never shown any interest. I trusted Ash to do what needed to be done with Ali. To push her to just the right level without getting her to snap. However the more time I spend sitting here thinking about Ali the more I want to see her.

I quickly stand from behind my desk with newfound energy. My abandoned papers receive no second glance as I race out of the room. A man on a mission. As I exit the pack house I attempt to greet other wolves in hopes of keeping up appearances but by now they have all caught on to my strange behavior. I haven't been showing up for pack dinners and I skipped teaching the training sessions these past few mornings. Jonathan had been filling in for me but if this continued I'd have to address my behavioral changes before someone got some different ideas in their head. I hated dealing with people who dared question my authority because most of the time they were just greedy bastards. Greedy bastards were better then violent ones. People like my father, but I wouldn't talk about him, much less think about him.

After making it out I walked to the edge of the trees and took a deep breath, sifting through all the scents that floated in the air, until I found one in particular. Coconut and roses. Such captivating smell for such a enigma of a woman. There was so much that I still dint know about her, about her family, about her past. My wolf and I both wanted to know everything that makes her Ali. The smallest things. Favorite color, favorite food, favorite movie, favorite place. So many things that I lacked the courage to ask. I knew that the minute I asked she would return the question. How would I tell her that my childhood had been my own personal hell? How do I explain to her that my own sister left me? It was best to leave those things unsaid. After all she was only staying until she got her life together. I am a crutch, a stepping stone to the other side of the river. Ali was only using me until she didn't have to anymore and I tried telling myself over and over again that it was okay. Unfortunately the longer she was around the harder it was to convince my wolf to give up on a relationship with our mate.