Moving On (Peter Pan X Reader ft. TMR: Newt)

Chapter 22

As my friends were celebrating just like when we were at the Glade, I couldn't join them. I was lost in my thoughts. I kept on thinking about why I made the wrong wish. Thinking about what I said to that crystal. But the thing is that I couldn't remember the exact words that I said.

But Eloise said that the crystal grants the wish my heart really wants. If my heart really wished for this, how can I say I made the wrong wish? How can I say that Newt was the wrong choice when all I've been wishing for was him?

"How could I be so stupid?" I buried my head in my hands.

"(Y/N) why are you just sitting down there?" Minho walked over to me with a huge smile on his face.

What the crystal did was that it brought Newt to life, but it was just the both of us who knew what happened. Everyone had their memories changed that Newt was Immune just like us and that he never left and neither did I.

"Why exactly are we celebrating?" I asked.

Newt and I walked over to them hand in hand. We were both quite surprised to see the Gladers, a few Sticks, and other Immunes celebrating around a bonfire. It reminded me at first of how the Lost Boys celebrated, instead of how the Gladers used to celebrate. Thinking of the Lost Boys brought a sadness inside me. I had no idea if they were alive or dead by now.

"We just are!" Minho laughed. "Come on (Y/N)! You used to be fun!" He took my hand and dragged me across the bonfire to where Newt was standing. "Both of you have to dance," he intertwined both our hands together. "You both look like strangers. Did you shanks have a fight or something?"

"No. Nothing like that," Newt shook his head. "Just getting used to being here in Paradise."

Minho's eyes darted between the both of us. Not really buying Newt's lie, well he thinks it's a lie, but it's the truth. But he didn't ask anymore questions. He left and just continued to dance with no music.

It's been too long since I haven't danced without any music like what we did in the Glade. I was used to listening to Peter's pan and the Lost Boys would dance to the beat and I would as well. It was different dancing than like what Peter and I did in that ball. The dancing of both the Lost Boys and the Gladers were similar because they would hold hands and dance around the fire. It was just now I've noticed the similarity, which is pretty useless but good to know.

Once again, I was too deep in my thoughts to notice that Newt was talking to me. His lips were moving but I couldn't hear anything.

"I'm sorry what?"

Newt pursed his lips and smiled but I could see something else in his eyes. Annoyance or sadness, maybe?

"I was asking if you're alright."

"I'm fine."

Peter said that the crystal grants that person their deepest desire. For so long, I've wanted Newt back to me. But I've already accepted that he's dead and gone. That he's a thing of the past. I wanted to save him, but in doing so, it had to be at the expense of other people's lives.

I could see this sadness in Newt's eyes. He can sense that there was something troubling me but he doesn't want to impose.

"Let's dance," I suddenly found myself saying. I couldn't handle seeing Newt sad, especially since it's because of me.

"What?" He seemed shocked.

"Let's dance," I repeated. "But not here."

Gripping his hand tightly, I dragged Newt away from the bonfire. I had no idea where we were going, but I was suddenly feeling quite happy. I was feeling light. That guilty feeling was gone for a moment as I was running with Newt. Both our laughter filled the air. We only stopped when we were far away from the others.

"I don't think we'll have enough energy to dance now," Newt panted.

"Don't worry. It doesn't need that much energy."

The both of us stood right in front of each other. I took Newt's hands and wrapped them on my waist and I wrapped my hands behind his neck. Newt's eyes were now filled with curiosity with what I was just doing, but he didn't stop it.

"Now what?" He asked.

"We just sway to the music," I told him.

I know that it's weird and somehow wrong. That guilty feeling came and rolled back inside me. But I feel as if the only way to not feel that guilty was by making Newt happy. I just killed Peter and everyone else on Neverland, while here I am with Newt. But I'm not making him happy because I'm not the same girl like I was before, he could tell that I'm searching for something. Something that's long gone now.

"There's no music."

"Then I'll make my own."

I started to hum out the same music that was playing while Peter and I were dancing at that ball. It was classical music that has been stuck in my head now. I kept on humming as both Newt and I swayed to it. I know that it was questioning why I chose that song, it's just because it was the only one I could remember.

"That's nice music," Newt commented.

He pulled me closer to him and I buried my head in his chest. I kept on humming that song until I started to cry. I was a mess. I was in a mess too. I can't help myself as I continue to cry because of the mistake that I've just made.

It was then I felt someone hold my hand. At first, stupidly might I add, I thought it was Peter. I don't even know why I thought it was him. I only let him hold it last night. But I guess I was starting to really get used to having Peter by my side instead of Newt. Then ironically, the tables turn.

"Please tell me what's wrong," Newt begged me. I thought that he would be mad but he wasn't. He was nice. He was calm. He was patient. He was Newt. "You know how I hate it when I see you cry."

"I'm not sure if you can understand." My head was still buried in his chest, I couldn't bring myself to look at him.

Newt then titled my head up by cupping my chin. "I'll try to catch up."

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