i am not a replacement

Chap17(back)

"Can we talk now ? or do you plan on running away again? "

"I don't want to talk Henry, you are here as my father's guest, not mine so I was truly hoping you could keep away from me"

I was out in the back yard after it got too noisy in the living room with them watching some football match, that I have absolutely no care for

Now I regret not being interested in it since I just gave him a chance to talk to me...

I was about to go back in but he blocked my way to the door, I tried to move from the sides but he kept blocking every access I had

"can you move away? " I tried my best to keep my annoyance at bay

"not before we talk? "

"I thought this was over Henry, we already talked remember? there is no more to say and even if there is, there's no time, it's too la- "

"I want you back " he stated so easily and surely like he was talking about some invention he created and was definitely sure about its success 

For about two minutes I just kept looking at him and he did the same, I truly can't seem to understand him now ..what is he trying to do?

"not happening "

"I knew you would refuse to listen so I spoke to your father first, but he left, and I had no one to help me so I spoke with Aiden "

"you're telling me that they agree on your stupid idea of us two getting back? you expect me to believe that ?"

"Yes, 'cause it's true "

"GOD! " It was too hot for me, I keep having some extreme reactions these days, I just can't seem to keep my emotions at bay, my hands where on my both sides and my head leaning to the right side, I was biting my lip and looking at him while my head got filled with ways to end his life "so you're telling me that my family members got your back ?"

"yeah " Henry was calm, too calm, I've never seen this side of him, he stood tall and confident, the way he looked at me and the tone he used .. I won't lie, my heart fluttered for a second, but just a second ...merely half a second even

"whatever " I let my hands fall to my sides and was about to pass by him but he still had his guards up since he moved to block me yet again

"hen-"

"I was stupid and extremely foolish, I'm sorry for hurting you and I-"

"JUST SHUT UP! FOR GOD SAKE !"

"Amanda listen to me"

"I DON'T WANT TO! THOUGHT I MADE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE .. WE AGREED NOT TO EVER MEET AGAIN! SO WHAT IS THIS NOW ?!"

He tried to get closer to me noticing how I actually lost it now but I moved back and pointed my finger at him warning him not to even dare think about it

That's when the door behind him flung open showing a worried Joshua and Aiden

They noticed my state and that made it even worse for Joshua, he was about to beat Henry's face but Aiden pulled him and shook his head, not needing to say anything...He then turned to Henry pulling him by the hand "Henry just stop it " but his hand was pushed away 

"no, we need to talk now!"

"she's not in her right state of mind now, she needs time "

"that's why we need to talk now, no need for confusions and waste of time"

"get in Amanda " Joshua gave me his hand to take and  I did, he was about to pull me in and past Henry, when he came in between the two of us and tried to pull my hand away

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF MY SISTER !" my hand was roughly pulled by Joshua bringing my whole body to be covered behind his bulky one

The two men glaring at each other and Aiden trying to stop the coming fight was all my brain processed before a storm fell on us

"I LOVE YOU DAMN IT !"

The hand that was holding mine tightened with surprise, showing the way that Joshua's body tensed but not only his,  so did mine upon hearing those words

"I love your sister Joshua, and I'm trying to win her back, I am sorry that I wronged her all these years but I just couldn't face it, I was a fool okay? .. I beg forgiveness Amanda, so please can you just listen to me "

"I've heard enough from you for years, there is no need for more "

"no, there is .. I lied and pulled away from you, scared that you might notice my feelings for you, I swear I was ashamed and sorry for loving you all those years, I was so sorry towards Ivy... but I hurt the living one being sorry for a dead one "

Joshua's hand loosened its grip on me but he still hid me behind him as if telling me that it's my choice to face Henry or to just stay behind him and run away from it, either way, he was there for me

"sis " Aiden spoke up seeking my eyes as if begging me to give him a chance to explain "dad would've wanted you to face it, but if you don't then no one is obliging you I promis-"

"I don't want to " my voice quivered and I knew that I started crying "I finally freed myself from this, I don't want to understand anyone nor think of anyone, I just want it all to end so please leave me alone, all of you " I turned to the door and left as fast as I could not looking back

I don't want to look back, cause looking back is almost the same as going back and I refuse to let that happen

I stayed in my room for a while with the door locked as if that will save me from all what's behind it on the other side, but I knew I was bound to come out, one of the main reasons was the fact that Louis fell asleep in the living room

I unlocked it and went out, still tensed from all what took place in this house not long ago, I moved cautiously down the stairs not to declare my presence to anyone and when I reached him I found the place in a total mess, the sort where if you leave it, the place will stink by morning time

so I got a trash bag from the kitchen before walking back to the living room and filling it with the now empty containers of delivery that were laying everywhere in the living room 

just then a hand touched mine!

"Just go to your room, I will pick up Louis and let him sleep on my bed tonight, you need rest so just call it a night already "

His voice and his touch made the tension my body felt leave my body in the form of tears 

As I hardly looked at the sleeping form of Louis through the tears that filled my eyes threatening to stain my face I asked him "Why am I being this way, Joshua? " 

"you're a human and more precisely a woman, you have to go through these types of breakdowns, stop trying to remain composed and let it all go loose, I got your back ... Amanda, I always do " he held my arm and pulled my weak body to his, hugging me tightly and caressing my back  "I got you"