The Home Of The Dead (Book 2)

Chapter 6: This is Not Good (Sashas finale)

I sat there, staring at the blood of my best friend on the wall. I felt sick, still thinking about, how the death of her was my fault. First I had lost her as a friend, then next, I had gotten her killed. No matter how much her father, Tanner, wanted to say that it was not my fault, I still knew that it was.
Sure, I did not know that we were going to be attacked on this exact day. But if I had not gotten her to open the door, and let me in, she would still be alive. Probably scared out of her right mind, but at least she would still be out there somewhere.
Instead, her body was laying in a grave, right beside the daycare that we worked at with each other. Never on the same shifts recently, because I knew that Ashley had told them she did not want to be on shift with me. It hurt me a lot, losing my friend, but I did not do anything to change that.
It was kind of like Ben, I loved the kid so much. In fact, I might argue that I was in love with him. But I was embarrassed the day that we had sex with each other. It felt amazing, and it gelt so real. But I did not not know what to say after all of that.
I had lost him too, he was probably out there, dead like the rest of us. Maybe he was safe, but if he came back and found the community like this, found his sister and his brother laying out there, probably dead somewhere. He would be gone, kind of like Tanner was right now.
I could see it in his face, he was trying to act strong. All I could see from him was pain, from a man that always did his best to cheer everyone around him up. It certainly was not coming to fruition today. I closed my eyes, my head still hurt a fair amount.
But I had to get over it, I could not just sit inside this house, and let all of what was going on keep happening. This was my chance to prove to everyone, that I was worthy, and that I was strong. I was going to show the world that I was not just some girl that works at a daycare, taking care of little kids.
I loved the kids to death, but now... I was not there when they had, their death. Maybe there were some out there in the community somewhere, I shook my head, the loss of 1 would kill me... The doors were open to the daycare, they did not get out safe...
I picked up the pistol that Tanner had left for me. The pistol looked like a real one, but one could not be too sure. I might as well take it with me, just to make me feel even the slightest bit better about my safety.
I noticed that there was no silencer on it, Tanner had the only silencer on him, and it was on his rifle. Fair enough, he would need it a lot more than me, that was for sure. Hell... He did not even know that I was about to sneak out of this place.
I knew that he would not want me out of the house no matter what the circumstances were. Much less the fact that I had a concussion... But now, this was the perfect time to show everyone, that I was so much stronger than anyone had ever imagined.
Ben, he had shown me how to use a pistol, I was just trying to remember how he had taught me. It was so hard, my brain was not working correctly at the moment. I still slightly picked up the memory of him teaching me how to use a weapon outside of his house, he had a little target practice.

"If they are within 10-50 feet, you use your pistol. Aim right above the barrel, there is a little split... Do you see the split?" He said to me. Handing over the pistol to me, in fact, the pistol was quite heavier than I would have ever imagined it could be.
I picked up to gun, aiming directly down the crosshairs, just like Ben had shown me to do. I looked at it closely for a few moments, and then I looked over at Ben and nodded to him, I put the gun down. He looked at me and then shook his head which surprised me a bit.
"I see the crosshairs, what do I do now?" I asked him. He looked at me and smiled once again. He lifted the gun back up to my head, and then he picked up his own gun, which had an actual silencer on it, he then shot at the target, that was in the far side of the yard.
He turned back over to me and he nodded at me. I smiled back at him, I loved him so much, he was a good looking guy, but his personality it just felt so real to me. He gave me faith, that something good could happen to me one of these days.
I went up to him, and then I kissed him, he looked at me a little bit surprised, and then he kissed back at me. His kisses were amazing, crazily enough, he had told me that he had never even had his first kiss. But it seemed as if it came natural to him almost.
We sat there in silence for a few more moments, neither one of us said a single word to each other. Now I looked at the ground, almost embarrassed to be staring into his beautiful gaze. It felt almost like I was not worthy for it, sure, maybe my looks would say otherwise, but I did not feel worthy.
Ben grabbed onto my shoulder and lifted my head up, putting his finger to my chin. I looked at him and then smiled, he then handed over his gun to me. I looked at him a bit surprised that he was doing it, but he just nodded to me, as if he was speaking to me... Telling me, that I was worthy.
"Just aim down your crosshairs, and go right in the middle... If the dead is more than that, no need to shoot... If he is less than 10, you will need to pull out a knife, I will teach you about that one of these days I am not busy... I am about to have to go..." He said to me. I looked at him for a few moments, I smiled again and then nodded.
I was happy that the daycare ladies had let me have the day off. Once Ben had told me that he was going to be a bit later til he had to go out with his trainer Christian, I knew that this was my chance. Not only just to get to learn how to shoot.
But to let Ben know that I loved him, I was in love with him. We had known each other for less than a week, but it felt so real already. My father had always told me when I was younger, to never rush into a relationship. But this man, even though he was not a man yet... He just seemed as if it was too good to even be true.
If I did not get him fast, then surely there would be another girl that would steal him from me right? I looked at Ben, as he was waiting for me to shoot at the target, I then nodded to him, putting the crosshairs of the pistol up to my eyes, doing my best to aim perfectly.
It was so hard to control my hand though, it seemed like it was moving across the world. At the same time as my hand was doing it, the target seemed to get smaller and smaller every second I looked at it. I held myself as still as possible anyways.
I almost felt like closing my eyes, and taking a shot. But there was no possible way I could hit it, and even if I did, it would not teach me anything about how to use a gun. I held my hand as close as I could, and then I shot.
I did not see it hit the target though, wherever it had gone, it clearly had gone to wrong direction of the target. Ben looked at me, and I could see a bit of a disappointed look on his face, it made me feel even more upset at myself, so much that I almost felt like cursing at myself.
"I am terrible... I will never be able to do anything like this..." I said to him. Staring down at the ground. For a few moments, there was just a bit of silence, and I thought that he might be agreeing with me on it. But he went over, and he gave me a much needed hug.
I held him as close as possible, one thing I had learned from my father in all of this, was to hold on to the ones closest to you, hold on to them as tight as you could. But I had lost Ashley, it seemed as if I had not been listening to my own father. I shook my head, trying not to think about it.
"If you have that mindset, you are right. But we are going to fix that, I just do not have as much free time as I would like." He said to me. He looked at me, and I looked back at him, I knew that I had a bit of a sad expression on my face right now.
But I could not hide it, I was usually not very food at hiding my emotions, people often thought I was, because I often showed no emotions, but that was just the type of person that I was... After all that I had gone through in my life, I knew I was not the only one.
Every person in this community, they had all had some bad shit happen to them, it was not just me... If anything, what I had heard happen to Ben, and his sister... It seemed like I had been led down a bit of an easier path than him.
"I can't help it, it is like I have something in my brain, that has me wired to be like that..." I said back to him. He looked back at me, a bit of a sad look on his face. And then he came back up to me, and gave me a very much needed kiss right now.
The kiss lasted a lot longer than usual, I almost wanted to ask if we were together. Neither of us had asked each other out yet. But it was almost like it was an unspoken thing, we knew that we were both together.
"Im going to have to go now... But try one more shot, I can see your hands moving far too much... Which is normal, I did the exact same thing. Just keep hold your hands as tight as possible, and don't think of it like you are using a gun." He said to me. I looked at him and then I nodded to him, just to let him know that I had listened, and that I had heard every last word that he had just said to me.
He then handed to the gun back over to me, and I nodded to him. Thanking me, I was just still not too sure if I was ready to go out of the walls, my heart told me that I had to, but my brain was telling me something completely different, it was telling me that I should just stay in the walls and be safe.
"Alright Ben... Thank you for all that you have taught me, I will do my best." I said to him. He looked at me, smiling at me, and then he began talking to me. He was always so humble with everything it seemed he would say to me.
"Thank Christian, he has taught me how to be like this, in just the short time that I have even been out here." He said to me. I looked at him and then I nodded, he nodded back to me, pointing over to the target... I knew that he did not have much longer.
I just had to enjoy the few moments that I did have with him. Even though I wish my mind could not think the way it did sometimes, I had a feeling that something was going to go wrong, and the few moments that I did have with him would soon run out.
My father always told me though, if I thought negative... Then negative things tended to follow in my path, and it did seem like he was sure as hell right. I closed my eyes for a few moments, it was time for me to prove to the world, that me... Sasha, I was worthy.
I then opened my eyes, maybe it was just a figment of my imagination, or maybe I actually was holding the gun a lot tighter, and that my hand was not moving around nearly as much.
Now the target, looked nearly as big as an entire house. I had to shoot now, before those thoughts were tossed out of my mind, and things just went back to normal. I then put my finger to the short little trigger, and pressed on it, I heard the quite scream up the gun piercing out of the barrel.
But I did not see where it went, my mind was in a different dimension right now. But I could hear Ben saying something to me. I turned my head over to him, now paying attention to what was going on around me. He had such a big smile on his face.
"Great job Sasha! That was perfect! I've gotta go now though..." He said to me. I looked at him, and then smiled. Handing the pistol over to him, I had done just what he had taught me, and I was happy to see the emotions that were on his face, I could tell that he was proud of me.
I was proud of myself, I had never done something that amazing in my life. I gave Ben the kiss this time, and he held me closer than ever before. I then nodded to him, this would not be the last time I would see him, he would come back safe, and next time, I figured I might as well treat him.
"Thank you Ben... I love you..." I said to him. He looked at me for a few moments, directly in my eyes. And I looked back at him, and he said the same thing back to me. It felt so real, I found a guy, that did not just want me for my body.
This was actually a genuinely good guy, he then began walking off. Nodding to me, I looked through the window of his place, I saw Angela looking at me through the window. She did not look to happy, but it seemed like she never did, so I shook it off, and then I began walking back home.