Chapter 14: Go In

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We sat there in silence for a few moments, nobody said a word to each other. I kind of shivered, this could potentially be the beginning of the end for me... Or maybe, it could write a new chapter in the story of my life. Whether that be for the better, or for the worse. I still was not too sure about it quite yet.
"I'm going back inside Ben, I can't stand being around the dead right now. Good luck to you though..." Chester said to me. I looked at him in his eyes for a few moments, and surprisingly he did not look away from me. That is how I knew that is apology was sincere, he had meant every word of it.
He may be stupid, but I could tell that he had grown up, and he now had a kind heart. He then nodded to both me and Christian, and then he opened the door to my house. After that he walked into my place, and I did not hear a single peep from inside from there on out.
I sat there for a little bit longer, swinging on the swing. I realized that the swing was actually a fair bit loud, and I stopped swinging on it right away. Christian did not say anything about it, it seemed like his mind was in a different place, which was something he had told me not to do.
But to be fair, he meant that it was something that I should not do while we were foraging outside of the walls, right now we were safe... One of the dead could walk up on the porch, but we would see it coming, or it could try to get through the fence but it would not have nearly enough time.
I closed my eyes, I was delaying the inevitable. I knew I should have already gone there, the very first day, but it seemed as if I was putting in off as much as I could. Now it was even worse, I knew my brother was either dead inside with Lilly, or he was stuck in the other community.
I knew the type of sick, and evil things that they did to the kids there, and I shivered just even thinking about that. I stopped swinging on the swing, and I just stood there, staring at nothing for a little while longer. That was, until I heard the voice of Christian that broke the silence.
"He's a bit of a wimp, that's just if you ask me, I did not enjoy the scavenge I did with him." He said to me. I knew why he said it, it was not just me that he was trying to get the dark thoughts from the mind of. I knew he was thinking of some evil shit right now, not to necessarily do on someone, but more as if they were doing on the people that he cared about.
If he did truly care about anyone, I knew that he would say otherwise, but I knew that he did have a love for me and Angela. He was best friends with our stepfather, that was for one thing. Friends did not seem to be a long lasting thing in this world.
Sasha had told me, in the short time that we had been together, and we had caught up on what we had missed on each others lives. She had told me that she had lost her best friend right in front of her arms basically. I felt bad for her, but I still felt a bit hurt for how long she had just ignored me.
I knew she had apologized for it already, but there was still something in my heart that was telling me that I had done something really bad, and I did not know why that was happening. She had told me that it was her fault, and she had apologized, but it still seemed as if my mind was telling me the exact opposite.
"Kid... We have to go now, if you still want to make in before dark." He said to me. I looked down at the ground, almost pretending to ignore what he had just said to me. I wanted to think about anything besides the possibilty that my brother was now one of the dead.
"What if I don't want to go? He is gone, if it be from him just being one of the dead, or if it be him being trapped in the other community, he is gone, there is no going back." I said to him. He looked away for a few moments, I could tell that he was in a fair amount of pain, and that was because he knew that I was right.
I just kept on staring down at the wall, I did not want to go in, I would have to be the one to kill Lilly, and potentially the last of the remains of my brother if it came down to it. Unlike Christian, I could not live with myself if I was not the one to finish the job.
"Kid... I don't want to go in, and have to kill her, I cared about her, and I cared about your brother so much. I need you with me on this, we can bare the pain if we have each other." He said to me. I looked at him a bit surprised to hear something like that from him.
He normally pretended to just not care about anyone, and anything that he was with, and now he was finally opening up to me. This is just not the way that I had wished for him to do it. I hated it, thinking about having to kill my own brother, and Lilly...
I closed my eyes for a few moments, he was right, he was always right. I knew it, he knew more about the world than I did, I still had a lot to learn, and this was the better time than ever to learn. I just wish it was any way, besides this way.
"Alright Christian, lets go... I am ready, I can not sit here on this swing any longer." I said to him. He looked at me for a few moments, and then he nodded to me. He looked a bit surprised for me to say that, and I personally did not blame him for being surprised at what I had just said.
He then cracked a smile at me, but this time I did not smile back at him, and his smile quickly went away, he knew that it was not the right time to be smiling. I was the first one to get up from the swing after a few moments of just sitting there.
The sun was going down really quickly now, we had probably less than 30 minutes of daylight, no matter what, we had to stay there for the night. It was not good for us to be going out in the dark, I knew it. That one night that I went out on my own was the scariest night for me, I was happy to stay at Phillips for quite a few hours.
"Alright kid, I guard your back, you take the lead." He said to me. I looked at him quite a bit surprised, but then I nodded to him. I knew that he had told me that it would soon be my turn to take the lead for him, once I was done with my training.
After I was done, he would just be there to give me advice for a little while longer. We would do missions together, but he would not be my mentor anymore. I suppose that time was now, I think so at least, we probably would not go out of the walls any time soon, and he had told me that going up to the mountains would be the end.
To be fair though, that had been ended quite a bit too early, but that was not really our fault, we had no other choice but to rush here, after we had heard news of the attack. We had just hoped that we would have had a little bit more time.
I knew that my training was done though, now he would just let me lead the way, and he would give me advice here and there along the way. I nodded to him, a had wasted at least another minute of just sitting there in silence, but after the nod, he began walking forward.
I was glad that he took the first steps for me, I knew that I must go and find out what was there for me, I just was so afraid to go. I closed my eyes for just a few seconds, trying to clear all of those evil thoughts from my brain.
There was one thing that my step father had taught me, was that if I thought positive, than that positive energy would follow me, and positive things would happen to me. It seemed like that would just be a hoax, but every time I thought positive, it always seemed to be true.
That also worked vice versa as well, though sometimes it seemed like bad things happened that I did not expect. I shook my head, not trying to bring that sort of energy on me, as I began walking, right beside the road, not going to close to it because there still was a fair amount of dead roaming the streets.
I turned my back to look at the bodies hanging from the trees, and the bodies that were stabbed deep into the crosses. I closed my eyes, and kept on walking. I shivered thinking about what the final moments must have been like for those people, seeing friends and potentially family just being hung and stabbed into crosses.
Christian noticed my looking at them, and he moved a bit closer to me, and he put his hand on my shoulder to try and lighten up my spirits a little bit. Though I was not sure if it really did too much luck at the moment. I wanted to push him off, but I just stood still and let him hold on to me for a few moments.
It was the right decision, if I truly lost my brother, than Christian was the only thing that I had left. I should, and could not just push him away from me. That would be the wrong way of going about things. I closed my eyes, but then stood up as I heard one of the dead roaming towards us.
As I opened up my eyes, I noticed that Christian was already going after it, and he easily took it down. He was so much better at a knife than I was, that was one thing that I knew for sure. I needed to get better with it, he had told me that it had saved his life in several situations that a gun could not have.
I knew that he was not lying, but I also knew as well that he had said it, as a way or just preserving ammo. Which either way you look at it, he was right with what he said. I then saw him deliver the killing blow as the dead fell down on to the ground.
Christian looked back over at me, I thought he was about to say something about me needing to pay attention to what was going on around me, but thankfully he did not say anything about it this time. I was guessing it was because he knew I was in pain, and I did not really want to hear it right now.
"I saw the bodies on my way over here. These people are sick, I hope that some day they will get what is coming to them, evil cannot last forever, much like good cannot." He said to me. I looked at him, and then I nodded. It was fell said, I knew that he was right about that.
I had read a few history textbooks, back when I was doing classes in the community, and I had heard about evil corrupt governments, they did not last very long. Neither did the governments of good though either. They would be taken over by a new evil leader, or an evil nation.
I kept on walking, not trying to think too deeply about all the evil, I just had to take my mind off of all of that. What had happened, had happened, if only we were a little bit faster, or if only Tony had thought to bring the walkie with him.
That part to me was the most sketchy out of all of it, the fact that he knew that they were scouting our community, and he knew that they were planning an attack, but he did not think to use the walkie at all. You could say that he forgot, but I had my doubts on how someone could forget something like that.
I knew that Tony was not lying about some of the stuff that he had told us, but there was a fair amount that he had said to us, that I was not too sure on either. The fact that he had also left himself at the other groups base also seemed a fair bit fishy to me as well.
I blinked a couple times, trying not to think about that, at this moment, my mind should be stuck on one thing, and only that thing. That was to make sure that my brother was still alive, or if he was dead, and see what had happened with Lilly as well.
Lilly, I was sure that she was dead... Unless she had somehow managed to get out of there alive, and they were footsteps of another person that was in her house for some reason. I had my doubts on that though, there would not really have been many places to go.
I just kept on walking, trying not to think to deep on it quite yet, as I saw the house of Lilly's right in front of us now. Just on perfect time as it was beginning to get a fair bit dark now, and just a small tip of the sun was still up in the sky.
I began moving a little bit faster, I knew that it was about to get dark, and the dead were very dangerous in the dark. That was not really the main reason that I was moving quite so fast right now, I heard Christian doing a bit of a faster jog behind me.
I needed to find out, what had happened to my brother. If he was not there, then there was only one other place that he could be at. I don't think I wanted him there either though, I could save him, and try to bring him back... Maybe... Those hopes were kind of low though.
I shivered as we walked up on the front steps... This was it, it was all or nothing now... There was only two places he could be, and I was not sure which one would be worse for him quite yet. I closed my eyes, but I heard Christian start talking just as I did.
"Alright kid... Are you ready to go in?"

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