It Started with a Selfie [larry stylinson a.u.]

22.0

Title: “The One Where Niall Does His Thing.”

Scene 25: Interior / Spencer House’s Bathroom / Night

Louis, still on his knees and in front of the toilet, flushes it and sits next to it. He tries to calm himself down and grabs his phone to make a call.

NIALL: “Finally! I was so worried, I even thought about calling 911 but then I remembered that the Californian police don’t give a crap so I was just here, freaking out and getting worried and imagining every scary scenario possible.” (takes a pause to breathe) How long was this party? It’s past 10 pm. Are you okay?” (Louis doesn’t answer) “Did you get kidnapped?” (Still no answer) “Why am I talking by myself? Louis? I’m going to call your parent’s.” (Niall hyperventilates) “I can’t believe this is happening.” (raising his voice) “You evil kidnappers, let him go! You’ll pay for this.” (sighs) “This is what happens to people who goes to parties. That’s why I told you we should never go to parties.”

LOUIS: (stuttering) “I’m here.”

NIALL: “How much money are they asking for? I can use the money I’ve been saving for my PHD but… You parent’s are rich so don’t worry, we’ll get you safe very soon.”

LOUIS: “I wasn’t kidnapped.”

NIALL: “Oh, what a relief. I was freaking out. I hate it when my friends get kidnapped.” (Louis stays in silence) “Not that it happened before but I had a nightmare about it once, it sucked.” (Louis is still not talking) “Are you okay? Why aren’t you talking?”

LOUIS: (voice breaking) “Why am I here?”

NIALL: “Are you crying?”

LOUIS: “No, I’m fine.”

NIALL: “No, you are not! You are definitely crying. What happened?”

LOUIS: “Nothing.”

NIALL: “What did they do to you?!” (freaks out again) “I knew it! Those bitches are always one step ahead of us. What did they do this time? Tell me! Oh God, I’m going to punch them so hard and I’ll kick their vital organs several times before I spit on their faces. What did they do?”

LOUIS: “Nothing.”

NIALL: “I’m going to get a bat and I’m going to smash their faces with it, so, so hard, you have no idea. I don’t play sports but don’t worry, I’ll go online and I’ll buy a bat, a big one… and also a helmet, just in case someone tries to help them.” (sighs) “I’m so mad right now, I need to calm down.”

LOUIS: “They did nothing.”

NIALL: “Stop lying! What did they do? Just tell me already! Oh, that disgusting Pink Queen. I’ll make him eat his own curls and then I’ll… I’ll… I don’t even know what I’ll do to him but, trust me, it won’t be pretty.”

LOUIS: (a smile creeps on his face) “Can you stop?”

NIALL: “Okay, I’ll try.”

LOUIS: “Why am I here?”

NIALL: “I have no idea, you tell me!”

LOUIS: “I keep forgetting about this, every time.”

NIALL: “I told you Hell Town is never a good idea.”