Unhinged

nineteen

I sat in the chair quietly, wishing there didn't have to be a broadcast at the Grand Vereilles.

It seemed like convenient timing that they'd have this...I'm not surprised.

Ever since the argument I have had with Maximus...I have been avoiding him altogether. Vero is still here...so I assume he's not going to eliminate her. Honestly...I'm not sure about that.

All I know is that me being here just feels like a punishment. It doesn't feel like I am doing something and everyone else has genuine intentions. I'm bullied here...and my feelings feel like they aren't taken into account. Just when I start to accept what I feel for him...this truth is revealed.

This is why you shouldn't like a person who has millions of other liking him too. Absolutely obsessed and wanting of him. They are even in love with him, and this feels tiring.

"I think someone wants to say hi to you." I hear Knox whisper near my ear, and I look at him. When he nods up at the side of me I just face forward.

"I have no desire to look at him or pretend like I care to say hi. I'd be lying to my sensibility." I tell him outright.

"What happened with you, again?" Knox asks me, and I look at him. "Yeah, he had sex with the contestants, but so what? You're really going to change your feelings and how you feel over something like that-."

"It's more than that, and I don't expect you to understand. You weren't there...with Vero when we argued. Sex to me is more than just...sex. I've never had it, but I know that I want to be with the person I love when I do it. I couldn't just do it just do it." I explain to him, watching him slowly nod in understanding. "Besides...when you say you love somebody and have fallen in love with them...then learn that they did that? It feels like a lie."

Knox frowns, and he shakes his head.

"I don't think it's that deep-."

We both end up stopping when the sound of Host Steward's loud voice rang throughout the place. The cheers were the first thing that almost made me go deaf.

Now I look around Knox and the others at Vero. I see her with her arms folded, her eyes narrowed on a particular group of people. Following her where she looked, I see her staring at the camera crew. They were handling something, but I could see the large screen at the very center of the stadium.

What are they going to do?

"Let's start things a little differently this time guys, we haven't seen our potentials in a couple of months. Well, let's start with..." I see Host Steward scan us, and I look away when he looks at me. "Jade Krio!"

I flinch, but I found myself grinning when she was called. I look at her as she made her way towards him and the kind claps for her. If that was me...it'd be silent.

By the time she sits they speak together normally. No issues and not asking her uncomfortable questions - none of that...

"So, do you believe it's going well here for you?" Host Steward asks her politely, and she nods. "Are you not much of a talker?"

"No... I am kind of shy. I'm afraid you'll point out the fact that I'm a Beta...like you did Beau." She has to point out, and I sigh.

Great, now I know I'm next.

"I wouldn't do that to you. My apologies that my past actions are making you so nervous to speak to me. We all are not paying attention to your differentiation - right guys?!" He shouts a question at the crowd, and they all cheer in agreement.

I see Jade smile and I felt...envious.

I look down at my hands, my lips tightening into a straight line. I know...if that was me they'd not be that way. I don't get that, at all.