UNTIL HIM ( book 1)

Chapter 21 " oh.. ive missed you too."

NINAS POV

Flash passed out on the floor and sage and Bailey carried him to his bed.

Flash was surprisingly happy when he was drunk. I thought he would be grumpy..

Me and Bailey plop on the couch at the same time. While they were carrying him I was looking at the pictures they have on a big shelf.

Apparently Flash did soccer at some point. He was good at it too. There was a bunch of trophy's for it. Not that I care.

Sage decided to go outside for a little bit. I guess to smoke. Or because the awkward silence between us. Even though it shouldn't be.

I don't hate him for liking me. I hate myself for hurting him.

" Bailey." I say once we both relax he just hums. He seems to be in deep thought. Probably rethinking seeing flash in his underwear. I almost laugh at true thought but I become serious again.

" who was the man at my house.. the one who tried to kill me." I say and it seems like the most normal sentence I've said since that day. I almost laugh again at that thought.

I realize that I need to stop trying to laugh at my thoughts.

I can't believe it's been almost a day. A day since everything. I texted my mom that I wouldn't make it home and she understood. I keep having to disappoint her. I don't want too, But I can't help it that these boys have become my family too. And in hate that, but I love it.

" uh.." Bailey stands up " I don't know." He says walking away from the couch. he's a horrible liar.

"Bailey." I say following him to the kitchen which he just puts his head in the fridge trying to ignore me.

" I don't know whatever you mean." He says and when he lifts up his head only to find me standing where the fridge door just was. It almost reminded me of one of those jumps are movies. He doesn't seemed fazed as he just pushes my head away from his and nearly bolts out of the kitchen.

He quickly runs down his hallway and is about turn the corner but I stop him.

" Bailey! Stop!" I yell and he freezes and slowly turns around with a innocent smile.

I turn around and sit down on a stable table, that sits beside the couch. And run one of my hands through my hair.

" I've been through a lot these past days the least you can tell me is what the hell is going on." I say and he looks down

" and fast." I add with a challenging face. Daring him to argue.

His face holds nothing but sympathy but I know he's about to change the subject.

"Nina.. i love you. But it's not up to me. And you know that. I simply- i just... I can't." He says and walks towards me.

"get some sleep." He says and kisses my head walking towards his room not turning around once.

I watch as he turns the corner and hear his footsteps fade as he gets to his room.

I hear a door close and I feel I can't breathe. Why now!?

I put my hand on my chest looking for my purse. I quickly stand up and almost pass out.

I see my purse on the table in front of the couch and I walk to it seeing stars.

The back door opens and my shaky hands try to unzip the zipper but my fingers seem to not be able to get it.

Sage sees me and then realizes what's happening.

His face drops and you can see the panic on his face. Even I can through my teary eyes. My hands cup my throat as I can't breath.

He quickly unzips my purse and looks at me. Confused on what to grab.

I have a Epee pen and a bottle of pills. He probably doesn't know which one.

" p- pills." I say with the little breath I have trying to calm down he quickly opens it and hands me a cap full of 3. How'd he know?

I quickly take them and look for the nearest drink and of course it's beer.

I grab it fastly before sage can protest, I take a swig of it.

The sour taste of the pills and the strong taste of the beer together don't mix well but, it's better than chocking on my own non-ability to consume air the correct way when I'm nervous.

Sage quickly puts my purse down and looks at me to see if I'm okay. And I look at him and nod.

" thank you." He nods back and smiles, but it's a mask.

He's still upset.

" looks like I officially got you back for bailing me out of jail." He jokes and I know he's just trying to break the ice.

" yeah." I say and sigh sitting back down on the side table to catch my breath.

" listen nina.. you know I'm not the biggest fan of flash but-" he starts but I interrupt him.

" you know all I've been hearing is how flash is going through hell." I say and shove my pill bottle into my purse zipping up my purse aggressively.

"How he thinks he's not good enough for me. Or how he's been through shit. Trust me I know." I say and throw the purse down onto the ground by the door grabbing my shoes and sliding one on my left foot.

"But he's put me through a lot. He's told me that he hated me and never wanted to see me again not even 7 fucking hours ago!" I raise my voice finishing putting on my shoes grabbing my purse slinging it on my shoulder.

"And somehow he just deserves me to forgive him. Fuck that." I say and shake my head moving my hair from my face.

" I know I'm not perfect but I don't deserve that. I've already had someone treat me like shit I don't need it again." I say and walk towards the door but a hand grabs my arm.

" I just. I don't want to get hurt again." I whisper.

I turn around and don't even think as I just hug the person.

" Oh.. i missed you too.." flash mumbles chuckling lightly.

I quickly pull away and look up to see flash smiling lightly at me.

What? Where did Sage go?

Everything just hurts. So bad. But it's like I can finally breath. Like cold air hitting your skin after the sun has been burning down on you. Like hot baths after a long day.

I hear the back door close but I don't even care. I look up and feel like the weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

What the hell am I gonna do now?
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Hope you enjoyed. Sorry if it sucks lol.

I wonder were sage went when flash came out of nowhere. Hm..

- V