My Feelings For You (Loving Him Series #1)

CHAPTER 25

REASONS

MARIA DANA'S POV

A month has passed he still makes me feel important. He shows me that I am worth it. He's being protective. And it makes me guilty since we're doing it in private. They are still together with Krisha and it hurts me. I feel like I'm a past time for him. I think.

Noong makauwi ako ng matapos kaming kumain ni Ethan with double celebration sa pagkapanalo nito at sa birthday niya last October 15 ay pumunta na naman si Devere sa amin. We talked and I was right. He saw me and Ethan together inside the car. He even saw that Ethan kissed me in the forehead. And, even if we don't have any string of relationship I felt guilty inside. I-i don't know why I feel hurt everytime when it comes to him.

Isang buwan na rin akong walang balita kay Sophia. I am worried and I even go to her house just to check on her. But, even their maid don't let me go inside. And, I think may nangyari talaga. Kapag hinahanap ko si Sophia sa kanila ay hindi sila makasagot. Kesyo pumunta sa ibang bansa. I don't think so.

Sophia would tell me if she's leaving the country. And even a word, she didn't send me a message. Kahit si Gavin hindi ko na makita sa school. What happened to them?

"What were you thinking? Mind to tell me?" Malambing nitong sabi at yumakap sa akin mula sa likuran.

I stopped him a couple of times for doing that at baka may makakita. He said that he doesn't care. But I do care!

"S-since, ayaw mong tigilan ako. Mind telling me your reasons? It's hunting me everytime. I felt so guilty. I felt like I'm the reason why you keep cheating on your girlfriend. I-i don't like this set up. Please, Devere." Mabigat ang loob kong sabi. I'm trying not to cry. But, it hurts so bad.

We're here at the beach side. Dinala niya ako dito dahil gusto niyang makasama ako. Halos isang linggo rin kaming di nagkasama.

He face me towards him at nilagay nito ang buhok kong nakaharang sa likod ng tainga ko.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." Napabuntong hininga siya at malungkot na tumingin sa akin.

"I-i'm too scared to tell anyone. You know that my parents are busy with our business. They even don't know what is really going on me. I just need someone to lean me on and someone to care for me." I can sense that he's scared. "I'll tell you now what do you want to hear. Promise me, if you found out anything. P-please, just listen and trust me." Paniniguro nito. Nakaramdam ako ng takot sa kaniyang mata. Tumango ako para mawala ang kaniyang pangamba.

"P-please say yes, baby. I'm scared that you won't hear me out after this."

"Yes. I promise."

Nagpakawala siya ng malakas na hininga bago nagsalita. "You see, since I was a kid I'm hungry for my parents attention. They give so much attention to our family business. While me, they don't have any support or attention for me. Until I did something that made them so mad at me. They punished me. They didn't let me to go to school for a week. They don't let me go outside. Hindi man lang nila inalam kung anong dahilan kung bakit nagkagulo sa school at kung bakit ko pinagbubugbog ang kaklase ko. Nasuntok pa ako ni dad at hinayaan ko siya sa kaniyang gustong gawin. Hindi naman nila ako papakinggan eh. Kaya hindi na ako naglakas ng loob na sumagot. It happened when I was in my Junior High School. I did it just to get their attention but they hate me instead. I just want someone to care for me. And, I don't know why I chose you. I only knew that I'm falling in love with you." Tumigil siya at tumingin sa mga alon at napapikit ng hinampas sa amin ang malakas na hangin. Ramdam ko sa kaniyang sinasabi ang inis.

We're seating on the sand facing the ocean. Tahimik lang akong nakikinig sa kaniya. I want to know what's his reason. I want to clear my mind from curiosity.