Sometimes he loves me

Chapter 49

EMMA

I'm in a tunnel made of clouds and warmth. Waves and waves of love surround me as I float to the end where a bright light invites me in and I can feel my dad's presence. I can almost touch it and put my hand out, but when I finally reach it someone pushes me back. My chest caves in with the impact. Peace turns into something else and I get pushed back again, this time out of the tunnel altogether.

"Please. Don't leave me." I hear an angel say, but I get pushed further away from the light.

Pain fills my crushed chest and the feeling of love gets ripped apart by water forcing its way up my lungs and through my throat. I start coughing in a reflex and feel my lungs beg to inhale oxygen that it desperately needs.

"Yes, that's it darling." I hear the angel's voice again and I feel someone push me on my side, realising it isn't an angel that is talking to me and I'm not dead. I feel too much pain for death. "Breathe for me." The voice says. I'm so absorbed in surviving and coughing that I can't recognize who it is.

My chest hurts, my body is sore and all I remember is Vincent trying to drown me. I feel broken from the inside out and pain shoots through me with every cough that leaves my lungs. When I'm finally able to breathe, I silently watch the trees around me sway to the wind, making me realise how wet and cold I am. I miss the warmth of the place I was only a couple of minutes ago.

Feeling someone stroke my back I roll to face that person, groaning with the pain it causes and look up to see Finn. He made it. He saved me.

I swallow hard, feeling how swollen my throat is. "You're here." I rasp. My voice sounds foreign to me and I grab my throat from the pain.

He smiles at me, a tear falling down his already wet cheeks. "I'm here darling." He says and the way he strokes my cheek feels as good as the peace I felt in that bright tunnel.

I observe his red eyes and wet cheeks. "You cried." I say softly, somewhat confused for the reason he would cry. I've never seen him cry except for the tears that almost left his eyes when I walked away from him three years ago. "Why?"

"Because I thought I lost you." He whispers and dries his cheeks and eyes with his hand. "And I didn't want to live in a world without you in it." He murmurs.

I stare at him in silence and my chest is now filled up with more than just pain. Pure adoration, love, happiness and gratefulness. I'm so fucking grateful for him. I have never prayed to a God, but I want to right now. To thank him for bringing me back to this man. I know he'll never be God's favourite, since his hands are covered in more blood than I want to know, but despite that and how dangerous others may find him, he's my safe haven.

"I have to take you inside." He says and has already put his arms underneath me before I can answer. I groan when he lifts me up. "I'm sorry." He whispers and kisses my temple.

I clench my jaw and bury my face in his neck, trying to forget the pain and steal the warmth of his skin. He starts walking us to the house and it somehow feels like I've been away from it for weeks, or months even, but I ran out of it less than half an hour ago.

The backdoor is still open and he walks in. My eyes shift to Vincent, who is tied to a chair in the middle of the kitchen. He's unconscious and I don't even want to know how that happened. As I stare at him, his last words start flowing back to me.

If I can't have you, no one can.

"What do you want us to do with him?" I hear one of Finn's guards ask.

"Nothing, for now." Finn says. "I'm cleaning her up first. Leave him with Blade and go get her some dry clothes from my house." Finn's voice hums through my body as we walk past them.