14 : 'When you smile, I melt inside.'

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Mature Content Ahead... You've been warned!

CHAPTER 14

VIVIANA KNIGHT

With a lot of difficulty I managed to climb the barriers and reach my room. To my surprise Del was still awake.

She smiled when she saw me "How was it?"

I nodded "Good." I made my way towards her and said "Can you help me with the string?"

She pulled the string and I got up from her bed, fetching my night dress. As I was changing, I could feel her eyes on me.

"What?" I asked.

"You have a hickey on your neck."

My eyes widened, I ran to the mirror to check and yep... there was a hickey on my neck and even one on my chest.

"Shit." Was all I could utter.

She got up from her bed "Girl, what is going on in your life?"

I sat on the bed "I don't know what's happening to me."

"Tell me. Is this Brody? Are you guys-"

"It's Xavier." I answered.

"Xavier?"

I nodded.

"As in Xavier Quinn? Your crush?"

"Yes."

She literally started shouting "Oh Jesus!! You and Xavier kissed? Meaning you guys are together. Finally!!!! I am so fucking happy!"

I waited for her to calm down.

"I'm gonna tell this to Abby, she'll be so happy. After crying so much finally you got him." I held her hand, stopping her.

"No. You aren't telling anybody about this."

"What? But why? You guys are together." She sat beside me.

"That's the problem, we are not together. We are not dating."

She stared at me blankly.

"I-I mean we have kissed three times. Not kissed but made out but..." I stopped because I wasn't able to frame words.

"So are you friends with benefits?"

"I don't know. We have never really talked about it calmly. We just argue about our kisses."

"What are you doing, Viv? Just because he is your crush you are losing yourself to him."

I covered my face with my hands "I am trying to stop myself but it's so difficult. When he comes close to me I am not able to say no. In fact, something in me wants him to do things to me."

"Viv." She hugged me.

"I don't know what's happening. This is not me, it's not. But I like the attraction."

We sat on the bed hugging each other for some time then she went back to her bed to sleep.

I don't know what I am doing.

I laid on the bed after changing into a night dress, my mind was still occupied by today's incident. The way his lips felt on mine, the way his hands roamed all over my body, the way my heart sped when he came close to me, the way I shivered when he touched me, the way his hands groped my-... No no no.. stop. What is wrong with me? What am I thinking!?

Before I arrived he was literally making out with every girl he got. I am no exception to him.

You are losing yourself again, Viv.

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