𝑚 𝑒 𝑡 𝑎 𝑛 𝑜 𝑖 𝑎 // JJK x reader

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟕

You were unsure of whether to just do it or not, but now was not the time to sort through your conscience. This was the time to act. And you needed to act now, or else it would be too late already.

Glancing around the room, you slid inside silently, grabbed the wooden box near the door and put it inside the pockets of your jacket. With trembling hands you rushed outside again, as fast as you could with your aching hip, that is. Your knees were weak by the time you arrived at the line of trees in the pitch darkness around you, and uneasy feeling grew in your chest.

There was someone watching.

You could feel it.

The eyes that were set on you made you nervous as you panted towards the woods, shaky breaths leaving your lips with every step you retreated into the forest.

Your gaze was swiftly glancing through the area to make out who or what was keeping an eye on you. A few feet away, you leaned back into a trunk and let yourself sink down, loosening the breaths that you were nervously holding for the last few minutes. Finally, you could relax, even if only for a short moment before you had to return back home to Kenjaku, Jogo, Mahito and... Choso.

It wasn't cold but it wasn't warm either, the grass patch you were sitting on was dewy and you could feel it tickle your legs through the shorts that you were still wearing. A shiver crept up your spine as you pulled out the wooden box from your jacket, and you just held it for a few minutes.

Inspecting the chipped wood on the outside, the seal that was still intact and the rotten smell that filled your nostrils, you were unsure about your own intentions. Your head was all over the place, your thoughts a mess and you couldn't even trust your own intuition anymore because the last few days turned your concept of living upside down. Even if it was only a few days that you had been with them.

Was it worth it? Was the 'family' that took you in, and used you to their own benefit really worth it to turn people that were actually friendly, helpful and kind against you? 

Did your beliefs overlap those of them? Were you really in love with Choso at this point or was he the only one that was somewhat decent and you just visualized it as love – because in reality you never knew what love really felt like. You just assumed that this was what you were feeling. No one told you to question if the love you felt was actually... just a crush, or just... the closest you thought you'd ever get to love.

If he loved you, he would have come to get you by now, and if you loved him – you would have gone out of your way to get back to him. And you would have moved mountains just because you missed him so much – but you stayed there.

You tried to reason it with weariness or your injury, but you had to admit that it was not really love that held you back at home.

It was comfort.

Your fingers grabbed a bunch of hair and you wanted to pull it out so bad, to just take out your brain and throw it somewhere far away, that no thought could find its way back to you.

A cold hand on your shoulder snapped you out of your thoughts immediately, and you instantly changed into your fighting stance, fists raised and ready to hit whatever target was in front of you.

Your brows furrowed at the person that you took in standing there, because this was surely nothing you could have expected. 

"Gojo?" you gasped with panic written in your eyes, which soon enough turned into irritation.

It must have been the early morning hours already, almost sunrise and you couldn't fathom why he was even out here.

"Surprised, I see?" he chuckled, "I saw you walking out the library and I was curious what you were doing there in the middle of the night." You loosened a heavy, brittle breath as you rested your hands on your knees and sat back down on the wet grass. 

"What do you want from me?" You glanced to him, his pale figure illuminated by the last bit of moonlight that shone through the leaves above. He was studying you, no blindfold, no glasses – nothing, he was just in black joggers and a white shirt that hugged his muscular body even if it wasn't a tight fit at all.

His eyes seemed as if they were glowing in the minimal light you were in when he squatted down and was now at the same height as you. "I'd like to ask you the same thing, y/n." Your name rolled off his tongue like he had practiced it over and over, sounding so familiar, yet so foreign. 

You rested your forehead against the palm of your hands as you averted your gaze to the ground, examining the dew drops on every blade of grass that glistened around you. Light rustling made you look up again and you saw that he reached over to pull the cursed object out of your pocket.

He held it in front of your face and his eyes softened as soon as he met yours, and you didn't reckon that he was so calm, despite the personality he put to show in front of everyone. "Why did you do that? You know that I can see through the games you play, that's why you were so defensive – and not to mention – rude as hell towards me, right?"

Your will to talk to him diminished in the very second he called you rude, and your expression slipped as your mouth dropped open and an offended huff escaped you.

"You said I looked ridiculous first thing when we met and now you have the audacity to call ME rude?!" you snapped, your eyes narrowed reproachfully.

"Yeah - Because you did look ridiculous. Am I not allowed to be honest?" His snarky remark left you gasping and questioning yourself on why you even spoke to that man at all.

You could have just left when you felt a pair of eyes following your steps, but for whatever reason you didn't leave and just took a break where you felt safe. 

You slapped your head, shaking it because you knew the situation you now found yourself in was completely your own fault. If you had been faster or more confident you could have been on your way home already. If you could even call it 'home' by now. 

He averted his gaze and let himself sink down on the grass next to you, his voice now softer than before as he started speaking again. "I can do many things, but none of them involves reading minds, so tell me what you wanted to do with this stinky thing."

He waved the wooden box in the air and the rotten smell lingered in front of your face again. You had already told Yuji, and Gojo probably knew more than he admitted so you weren't really sure why you held back anymore. As if he could have read your mind, he slid back a few inches and when he was on your opposite side, he urged you to talk to him once more. 

"It would be impossible to go through that curtain with that finger anyway, so either you tell me right away – or we can sit here until the sun goes up and I'll honor you with my company until then." he taunted, a playful smirk plastered on his face now. 

You rolled your eyes, stared into the darkness of the forest and you wanted to get this conversation over with already. And the only solution for him to leave you alone was to talk.