Chapter 19: Her pain

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Nandini POV

“How can I live my life happily? It will be in justice to him. He lost his life because of me. I'm such a pathetic girl. I.. kill him. It's me ... I kill him. In my pain I forgot everything and when I realized it's…too …late.” I said crying bitterly.

” I said crying bitterly

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Everyone thinks I'm still in pain of Rohit leaving me, accusing me, but No, I never loved him, instead I wanted to leave him early

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Everyone thinks I'm still in pain of Rohit leaving me, accusing me, but No, I never loved him, instead I wanted to leave him early. If I were not pregnant I would have taken  divorce from him but my this mistake ruined his life.

“Kesh main Rohit Ko divorce de deti. He would be with me. I would be living my life happily with him and manu but ... .Sab khatam Ho gaya.." I said, crying bitterly.

Then I rush towards my cupboard and open it and from upper selve. I got his things. 

Taking his photo I cry bitterly. Why did you leave me alone here? Why? Didn't you love me enough to stay with me? Everyone says to live my life for manu, for our family and he said to live for me but how can I live my life when you are not with me?

        Palkon main aasoo leke, Dil main 
                   Dard Roya hai
    Hasne walon Ko kya Pata, rone wala
                  Kis qadar Roya hai
     Yeh toh bas Wahi Jaan sakta hai,
               Tanhayi ka aalam
     Jisne Zindagi main kisi ko pane se
                Pehle Khoya hai….....

His clothes still give me that feeling, when he was with me …..

Why did you leave me?why….

Buried my face in his clothes, I cried for half an hour. Then caressing his clothes and his photo for the last time kissing them numerous times. I close the door of cupboard

Why is he doing this? Did he like me? But why will he like me? Today's talk was evidence that somewhere he likes me or I'm thinking a lot. I always get lost in Mr Malhotra talks. 
Does it prove the way he is behaving with me from the past month that he likes me or he is doing everything for mannat? Why is he so confusing? Why do I always behave differently with him? From last month,  if he didn't pick up a fight then I feel empty. I love when he bickers with me. When he didn't fight with me, I picked up the fight. The way I got lost in his eyes, it's something new which I never ever feel, not even with Rohit even after staying with him for 1 and ½ years. The way he cares for me when he gets worried. I don't know how he gets to know about me getting hurt by a patient family? 

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