The Fashion Designer

Introductions

KANNA

Stretching my sore legs and muscles, my eyes fluttered open as I recall the recent events that transpired yesterday. I remember a man and it all comes flooding back. A smile of satisfaction was brought upon my face. Is this how it feels. Why hadn't I don't this sooner. Experience more, its too bad my first time had to be with a complete handsome stranger. His eyes that bored in to me, so mysterious and held a lot of unspoken emotions. As long it was a face that I wouldn't mind seeing again.

Looking to my side I notice it's no longer occupied which brought a frown upon my face.

I may have drank some yesterday but not to a point where I don't remember what developed, a sense of longing, wanting, to be needed. The way he held me, embraced me, claimed me, it was more than what I could ever ask for.

Bringing my feet up towards my chest, my mind still scrutinizing what had happened yesterday. I can't believe I had done what I just did. How could I? How would I? Never in a million years I would be one of those girls ending up having a one-night stand. Regrets starts to sink it when my eyes fell on the drops of blood on the sheet.

Anger and bile began to surface from my throat as tears started to form. Grabbing my hair hoping this was some sort of nightmare sadly it seemed so real, it was real.

I remember what had happened yesterday afternoon all though I tried to forget, the images are now embedded in my mind.

Closing my eyes, the guilt I had seen flashed through his face. Just because I said no, just becaue I wanted to wait, just because....

I thought he loved me...I thought he wanted a future with me but, how could he?

This is what drove me to that bar. It's all his fault. And now the one thing I tried so hard to protect, the one thing that was actually mine, the one thing I didn't want to give away went up the moment I got in that cab.

Asking myself how long? "How long?" I screamed to no one in particular. "How many fucking times." My head banged against the wall trying to forget. I just want to forget. Maybe my heart will stop, will that make him regret.

How could I be so blind so stupid. Questions swirl my mind as if it was on repeat.

The signs were all there. We fought and we fought. We never used to fight but he would find something to argue about even the smallest little thing would turn into a huge fight. Something so petty would escalate...

Until I saw him, in my bed, in my apartment with another woman. Now being the optimist, I was I thought maybe just maybe they were watching a movie and fell asleep that is what I was hoping for but all they had was a blanket covering up their naked flesh. In my fucking bed, the bed I sleep on. It wasn't even his bed.

Erase, erase I scolded myself. Instead of that painful memory I recalled last night's memory. Might as well remember that since I gave away what belong to me. Though it was my first it was the best sex I have ever had, well the only sex I have ever known still it was so fresh in my mind. I don't even know how many times we had done it. In fact, this whole room reeks of sex.

Standing up I thought maybe he would be washing in the restroom. Finding out it was empty, I dejectedly headed back to the bed.

The sound of my beating heart erratically confirmed my thoughts, he left and I was alone. He took what he wanted and that I can never get back and just left. Probably didn't even look back.

Feeling frustrated, I quickly washed and dress leaving the room of what could've been the best night of my or so I thought.

Walking down the street heading for the bus stop, I had notice people staring at me. Can they tell? I heard once you have done it people would know.