Paint You Wings

Chapter Twenty-Two - Daryl

       After laying on the couch and teasing each other for a while, we decided it was time to move our asses and go on a run for some supplies for the house. Jakki was extra clingy today, cuddling up to me in the car while I drove. But, after all these years of not letting myself have contact, I was gonna take all of it I could get.

       We pulled up to a mini mall and went into a housing store. We were gonna need some stuff around the new house. Everything we needed there was either old, broken, or missing. We cleared the store and went out separate ways.

       I found towels, body wash, shampoo and conditioner, and a few other things for the bathroom. Jakki set off to find stuff for the kitchen and some blankets and bed sets that weren't so thin. I found her full cart and then her a few feet away from the cart.

       She picked up a stuffed bear that came with a baby blanket rolled up and tucked into its arms. Jakki had somehow made her way to the baby section of the store.

"Looking for stuff for Judith?"

       She gasped and threw the stuffed animal down. "Uh, y-yeah. For Judith. Do you think she is even into this stuff now? She's still young but at that age where she is too old for some things. Toddlers are so confusing." She rambled on.

       Standing there, watching her mumble on about Judith, my eyes wondered to the bear that laid on the floor. It was cute. And small. Like a baby. Fuck, I cannot get baby fever.

"Just get it for her," I cleared my throat. "If She doesn't want it, other kids can have it." I nod at her.

She nods and picks it up, putting it away in the cart. She dipped her head down and pushed the cart outside. She silently unloaded it while I unloaded mine. This odd behavior of hers had me concerned but I tried to not worry. She said before that she wasn't a big fan of kids. Wanting babies wasn't a thing for her. Maybe she was just stressed about the whole Negan thing.

We cleared out another store and gathered some food for the house before heading back home. Jakki was quiet and not as cuddly as she was on the way to the store. She just sat far away and stared out the window. I just let her be, not wanting to be a pressing boyfriend. She silently helped me get the stuff in before putting stuff away and beginning repairs on what needed to be fixed.

Oddly enough, watching her fix a door knob was a bit... attractive, calming? She just had this look of concentration and then her hands moving so delicately but quickly. I knew her mind was off of other things so it calmed me a bit.

"I'm gonna go out and hunt for a while," I kissed her temple. "I'll be back before sundown."

"Okay. Be careful." She spoke quietly and looked down at the floor. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and I was off.

Trudging through the damp leaves and mud of the woods, I kept thinking about Jakki. Her quiet nature after the store had me concerned. But I was also concerned about myself, thinking about babies after seeing a stuffed animal.

It was stupid to think about kids with Jakki. She didn't want any and even if she did, she couldn't get pregnant. Those assholes who had her before ruined any chance of that. While it was shitty and unfortunate, maybe it was a good thing. We didn't need to raise a baby in this mess. Judith was cute but I am constantly worried about her. She was small and innocent. She didn't need to be taken out by one of those things.

The sound of a walker growling tore me away from my thoughts for a moment. I took out my knife and waited for it to come into my sight. It came from behind a tree, stumbling away from me. I drive the blade into its head before pushing it away. I looked up to see it was stumbling towards a turkey.

Silently, I raised my crossbow and aimed, getting it right in its eye. Another successful hunt. I decided to leave it at that for the day and take the game home. The walk home was uneventful. Occasionally, a squirrel would scamper by. But that didn't keep me from overthinking again.

Just thinking about Jakki holding a baby sent a pleasant chill down my spine. She would make a beautiful mother, but she was just my girlfriend right now. She was a girlfriend who I loved dearly and wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Glenn and Maggie got married but that wasn't in the middle of a bunch of bullshit. Well, kinda.

I wasn't even sure how she felt about marriage. We never talked about it. She could think it was a total sham, a waste. Back then, I knew a lot of people thought of marriage as just financial help. To get more back on taxes and stuff. It was mainly just a piece of paper between them, nothing special. She could have been one of those people.

      But she could have been one of those girls who daydreamed about a wedding in her free time, or just when the thought crossed her mind. Maybe she had her guest list made up already or had plans for what dress she wanted to wear. Something that made her feel the most beautiful, even though I think she would be beautiful in just about anything you put on her.

I walk into the house and find Jakki nowhere in sight. I call her name out only to get no response. I drop the turkey on the counter and go up the stairs, checking every room. All of them, empty. Until I came up to the nursery. Jakki has obviously been sorting through the stuff in the nursery. She now sat in the rocking chair, her eyes down at her feet, which were kicked out in front of her. One hand rests on her lower belly while the other rests on the arm of the chair.

I take one step forward towards her and the floorboards creak, causing her to jump up and reach for the nearest thing to use as a weapon, which was a small ironing board.

"Shit! You scared me," she exclaims, somehow managing to keep her voice low. She was still used to keeping her voice quiet, even when she got scared. All to keep walkers away.

"Sorry," I reply lowly, my hand reaching out to touch her arm to comfort her.

"It's okay," She clears her throat. "Any luck out there?" Her eyes peer up at me, one hand on her hip.

"Got a turkey, I think it can last us a few days and I can make jerky out of it."

Jakki nods with a small smile. "I'm surprised those stupid birds are still even around." She chuckles.

I chuckle a little bit and look around the room. "What are you doing in here?"

"Um," She looks around as well. "Just seeing what we have. Maybe there's something the children elsewhere can use. And expecting mothers. No point keeping it all here if we can't use it."

While she was right, it still hurt a bit. I try to not act like it but I did think about having a family probably too hard. A family with children. But with Jakki I'd just have to settle for a family of only her and maybe some dogs. And I'm not mad about that. I just have a feeling she might be desiring more. And it's hurting her. When she's hurt, I'm not happy.

"Yeah, you have a point." I sniff a bit and look back at her. "Are you sure you're okay? You didn't seem too hot at the store today, and I saw you sitting in that chair."

Jakki glances up at me and sighs. "Just... you know that stupid thing where you don't want something until you know for sure you can't have it? Then you just long for it?"

I stay quiet for a minute before making her look at me. "I know. But we both know this isn't an ideal place to be giving birth." I tuck some hair behind her ear. "Maybe one day we can find something. Right now we are our own little family."

Jakki says nothing and just nods, smiling a little. She steps closer and lays her head against me. My arms wrap around her and we just stand in the nursery for a bit, holding onto each other.

"Come on," she wipes her eyes. "You need to go butcher that turkey."