Guarded Love

Chapter 6

Essence 

"I think God hates me," I said over group FaceTime with Kayla, April and Tia. 

"That was not what I was expecting when I picked up," April said looking confused. 

"Well what the hell did you do? Run over  a nun?" Tia asked. 

"I don't know," I whined letting myself into my apartment. 

"Well then why do you think God hates you?" Kayla asked. It looked like she was driving home. 

"Because of this case," I sighed throwing myself on the couch. 

"I thought it was an easy case though?"

"It is. The client isn't. My life was perfect until he bombarded his way back into it. I think the little fucker planned this."

"Girl you are so dramatic," April rolled her eyes. "So who is this client you don't want to see?"

I growled under my breath just thinking of that asshole. "This jerk I used to go to school with. He pissed me off everyday that he was there. He'd go out of his way to be irritating as fuck. And he used to call me by this childish ass nickname. He was so damn full of himself. He's the main reason I hated guys my own age."

"Why are you representing him if you can't stand him?" April asked. 

"I kind of owe him one," I mumbled. 

"Owe him one? One for what?"

"I don't want to talk about it," I dismissed. Talking about it would only bring up bad memories. "You guys know I hate owing people favors so that's why I'm representing him."

"Okay. So what did he do to you again?" I told her about the stupid pranks he would pull on me and the stupid names he'd come up with. "Oh honey he just liked you that's all," Tia said. 

"What? No he didn't," I furrowed my brows at her. "Did you not hear what I said? He constantly pulled pranks on me-"

"To get your attention," April said. "He only did all those things because there was no other way to get your attention."

"But he called me names and-"

"He called you princess Essence," Kayla said. "Take it from someone who was bullied growing up, that's not necessarily name-calling. At least in a bad way. He probably did all that because he knew there was no other way for you to pay him any attention. Don't forget how you always used to say you didn't like high school boys."

"And he's the reason why. They were childish as fuck," I rolled my eyes. Sure, what Demetrius did wasn't technically bullying but it was still annoying as fuck and I know he only did those things to get under my skin. All the girls he had following throughout the school I know he wasn't tripping over liking me. 

"Girl ALL men are childish," April said. "You just have to find the childish one that resonates with you the most."

"No thank you. I want a serious man. I'm tired of these niggas who think I'm an Xbox. Bitch don't play with me." They laughed at how serious I was.

"Girl be careful with what you wish for," Tia said. "You might just get it."

"I wish I may, I wish I might, get me a serious nigga tonight," I chanted with my eyes closed. 

"Girl I'm done with you," April laughed. 

"I'm so serious though," I pouted. "I'm tired of the games. I'm twenty-five with a great career. I need a serious nigga to settle down with ASAP."

"Don't rush these things," Kayla said. "If you're not careful you may end up with more than you bargained for."

"Yeah whatever." My phone buzzed from a text. I exited from the group Facetime to read it. It was from my friend Rhianna asking if I wanted to go out with her this weekend. I sent back a quick yes before resuming our conversation. "Oh and I didn't tell y'all the 'best' part of this entire case," I rolled my eyes. 

"What?" they all said. 

"The one and only Jermaine Watson is on the prosecution."

"Oh shit," Tia laughed. 

"Isn't that the guy you dated during your intern?" Kayla asked. 

"Yeah," I rolled my eyes. 

"The same guy that not only stole like seventy percent of your research paper but also botched the case you two were working on together?" April asked. 

"And almost cost me my career before it began? Yes. That's the one."

"Hold on, I'm booking a plane ticket right now," April said leaving the chat. "I've been wanting to beat that ass since you told me."

"April don't. He's a very influential person."

"So are these hands the fuck."

"I'm going to tell Shawn you're trying to fight," Tia said. 

"Snitch," she said coming back into view making us laugh. "Someone needs to lay hands on that fucker. Maybe we should tell the guys to do it."

"Nope. Andre might just kill him," Kayla said. "Plus it's in the past so I doubt-"

"Before you say what you're about to say, think about who's your man and who raised him," I said. 

"Yeah never mind," she said making us laugh. "Well Andre doesn't always fight physically."

"Oh yeah! Remember he literally destroyed the lives of the guys who raped you?" April said. "Let's get him to do that to Jermaine."

"No you guys. There's no need. I'm over it. If he hadn't fucked me over I probably would be at that stupid ass law firm now miserable as hell and fighting everyone for a good case."

"When did you become the sane sister?" Tia rolled her eyes. 

"When y'all became insane," I stuck my tongue out. 

"You stupid non-driving bitch!" Kayla yelled. "I'm not insane." We all laughed because this girl's road rage is legendary. We all stayed on the phone for a little while before mine needed to be charged. 

I took the opportunity to check my emails and got exactly what I needed from Jones. Thankfully AJ had already forwarded the money to me so I can just send it to Jones and that part be over with. I then moved over to Facebook and scrolled through my timeline. I saw a couple of my old high school classmates posting about their magnificent lives. Some just had their first child or another child. Other's are engaged, just got married, celebrating an anniversary, just living their best lives. 

I'm no hater or anything so I'm glad to see so many of them happy and living to the fullest. Although I couldn't help but be a little envious of them. We were all the same age and their lives are turning out so much differently from mines. There was a point in time where I wanted to be engaged right now and planning my wedding with my significant other. But here I am single like a dirty dollar bill. I had lots of hopes and dreams of finding a 'forever love' like my siblings but honestly, I don't know if I'm ready for it. 

Sure I said I wanted a serious man but I don't even know if I believe myself. My heart had been broken so many times I don't even know if I can trust myself to love. I thought I knew what it was watching my parents, my brothers. I really thought I knew what to look for when it came to those things. But life proved that I was just clueless. Love is complicated and I gave it too many chances to make me the butt of it's joke. If God does decide to send me a man he'll have to work a lot harder than most to get through the walls I set up. I only have so much love left to give and I'm going to do my damn hardest to protect it from getting stumped on again. 

Tell me what you guys think so far!