I Used To Hate You [Old]

OLD

Lilly Pov:

"Red Leader keeps getting sexual with Tom?" I ask the two soldiers.

"Yeah, so we always have to save Toms sorry ass by making a bunch of army disasters to distract Tord from fucking him," Paul says to me.

"That's odd..." I say and hold my chin.

"What's odd?" Paul and Pat both ask me.

"Well I don't have a lot of information, but the fact that the disorder is called "Constant Romantic Thoughts Disorder" and Red Leader is trying to have sex with Tom is odd since it has "Romantic Thoughts" in the name and not "Sexual Thoughts"," I say then walk over to my desk, sit on to my desk chair, and turn on my computer. "I have a.. friend, that's much more trained in rare disorders and diseases than me." I go to my messages and start to text my "friend" Paul and Pat walk behind me.

"Hey Lilac," I message.

"Hey baby! How's the army doing ya?" Lilac messages back which makes me blush.

"Baby?" Paul asks me.

I ignore Paul and message Lilac, "It's been okay, but I need some help with something."

"Of course! Anything baby girl! 💕" Lilac messages which makes me blush more and slightly squeal.

"That's a little bit gay," Pat says.

"You think?" Paul asks Pat.

"JUST SIT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM AND I'LL TELL YOU WHAT SHE SAYS OKAY?!!" I practically scream to the two soldiers.

"Okay okay, jeez," Paul says, then they both sit on the couch on the other side of the room.

Paul Pov:

"Basically she's saying that what Red Leader has is most likely not what I diagnosed..." Lilly says with some embarrassment on her face.

"WHAT?!" Pat and I scream.

"She says it sounds more like OLD which stands for Obsessive Love Disorder. It has the same affects as CRTD but apparently CRTD doesn't get as bad as Red Leader did before Tom. It also appears from traumatic events but it has a higher chance of appearing if the person being obsessed over has hated the diagnosed person for many years which from what I hear, is exactly the case," Lilly says.

"And what's the cure?" I ask Lilly in anticipation.

"Some people say it's a waiting out thing, but other people got cured from-" Lilly says then looks at the messages. "Oh..."

"From what?" Pat asks Lilly.

"Well it's better not to tell the diagnosed person or the person being obsessed over-"

"Just spill it lady," I say to Lilly.

"Okay! Okay.. It's-"

Tom Pov:

I watch the sunset while I sit on the soft grass of a hill far from the base. Different colors fill the sky, which for some reason it makes me cry more.

As the sun sets I start to sing quietly, "I'm nearing the end of my fourth year. I feel like, I've been lacking, crying too many tears. Everyone seemed to say it was so great, But did I miss out, was it a huge mistake?" I cry more tears. "I can't help the fact I like to be alone. It might sound kinda sad, but that's just what I seem to know. I tend to handle things usually by myself, and I can't ever seem to try and ask for help," the colors of the sky start to fade away. "I'm sitting here, crying in my prom dress. I'd be the prom queen if crying was a contest. Makeup is running down, feelings are all around. How did I get here? I need to know," I look down at the grass that flows in the wind. "I guess I maybe had a couple expectations. Thought I'd get to them, but no I didn't. I guess I thought that prom was gonna be fun, but now I'm sitting on the floor and all I wanna do is run," I cry some more tears and my pants get wetter from the tears falling on to my lap. "I keep collections of masks upon my wall, to try and stop myself from revealing it all. Affecting others is the last thing I would do. I keep to myself though I want to break through," I hold my knees and watch the sun leave my sight. "I hold so many small regrets, and what-ifs down inside my head. Some confidence it couldn't hurt me. My demeanor is often misread," I smile slightly for the next few lyrics since they're my favorite. "I'm sitting here, crying in my prom dress. I'd be the prom queen if crying was a contest. Makeup is running down, feelings are all around. How did I get here? I need to know," my smile then fades as the sun still seems to stay in the sky. "I guess I maybe had a couple expectations. Thought I'd get to them, but no I didn't," I cry again as I keep unwillingly remember Tord. "I guess I thought that prom was gonna be fun, but now I'm sitting on the floor and all I wanna do is run. All I wanna do is run, all I wanna do is run, all I wanna do is run," I hug my knees and burry my face in them which causes my singing to slightly muffle. "I'm sitting here, crying in my prom dress. I'd be the prom queen if crying was a contest. Makeup is running down, feelings are all around. How did I get here? I need to know," I sniffle and my vision blurs from my tears so I close my eyes. "I guess I maybe had a couple expectations. Thought I'd get to them, but no I didn't," I make my voice into a whisper as I start to choke on my words. "I guess I thought that prom was gonna be fun, but now I'm sitting on the floor and all I wanna do is run. All I wanna do is run." Once I finish singing I start to sob and that's when the sun finally sets and the stars and moon come out.

After a few minutes I hear a familiar Norwegian voice say, "The sky is beautiful tonight," I tense my body in attempt to quiet my tears. I hear Tord sit next to me, but surprisingly he doesn't immediately go to touch and cuddle me like he would only hour ago which slightly confuses me, but I'm grateful. "I'm sorry Tom," I flinch.

"Sorry?" I ask in a whisper.

"Yes sorry... I've been forcing myself on to you even though you obviously want space... I guess I've just really wanted attention from you in every way possible.. But I didn't think of how you feel about everything that's been going on and how I kidnapped you and destroyed your home and just everything else..."

He's acting... aware? He's been so oblivious, so why is he acting rational now? It's like his disorder isn't acting up right now...

I lift my head and look at him while trying not to hold back tears, but the tears just come flooding out when I look at the eyes of someone I haven't seen since he left home to go to the "big city". The look on his face isn't mischievous or corrupt or even sexual.. It's just the look of someone that cares.

I practically jump on to him when I hug him and end up with my face in his chest and my tears furiously soaking into his hoodie. Tord soothingly rubs my back and says in a comforting tone, "Don't worry it's going to be okay, I'm here."

I just wish he was always like this...