Dark Age Maiden

What Carina wants

        "Carina, you are impossible. I hope you are just talking. The point is Giancarlo is staying for a time, and I am going to make an offer to Uberto and his friends. If they accept, they will stay on to help build our domain into a good sized estate. We are going to enlarge and strengthen the fortress, build new ramparts to enclose a larger area, take in more peasant farmers, increase acreage and raise more cows, pigs, goats and chickens. The towns are no longer growing due to lack of trade so we are going to make our own self sufficient community where people can live protected from marauders." He hesitated, caught up in the excitement of the idea. "Not only could you be happily married with either of these men, but . . ." he hesitated again.

       "I see," Carina answered quickly. "I would be the honey to hold the bee."

        Tiberio slammed his fist on the table in consternation. "You are a woman!  Why don't you act like one? Of course, when a man and a woman unite, alliances are formed. Such is the way of nature. You don't know this?"

       "Yes, father. I understand."

       "Then will you let them see your better side?"

       "I am willing. I'm not against the whole idea, you know." 

       "You're not?"

       "No, father. I want to have babies."

       Tiberio was momentarily taken aback. "That is wonderful to hear," he said at last. "I want grandchildren."

       She stood up, went to him, and kissed him on his balding forehead.  "Goodbye, father, unless there is something else you want to say to me."

        "That's all," he mumbled, raising his head as she was leaving the room.

        At the door she paused and said, "I love you, father," before turning and exiting.

        As she walked away she thought about what he had said. Both Giancarlo and Uberto had good qualities. In truth, she could resign herself to living with either of them. Love, she did not expect, but maybe she could have a measure of happiness.

        At times like this she wished she had a mother. Since she didn't, she decided to talk to Antonia, her older brother's wife. She had never felt especially close to Antonia, even though she was her sister-in-law, maybe because she was so traditional. Still, she was a woman, and she needed to talk to someone. She found her in the side courtyard, hanging laundry.

       "Ah, Carina," Antonia called out as she approached. "I wondered if you had been ignoring me."

        "Oh, no, Antonia. There has been so much going on." They embraced. "How are you?"

        "Look at me. Don't you see how thin I've become. Good you brought back Count Giancarlo in time or we would all be skeletons."

      Carina looked at her sister-in-law. Yes, she was thinner than before. But she wore a beautiful blue tunic trimmed in white lace, and her blond, silky hair fell attractively to her shoulders. "It has been hard on everyone. Father is replenishing our supplies and soon there will be more than enough for all."

        "I know. I should be patient. Already, we have more to eat, and soon we will all fill out nicely as before. Lucio," she said, as her young son came tripping through the door. "Here is your aunt Carina. Come, give her a kiss."

         "Lucio," Carina called as he came closer. "Let me see how tall you've grown."

         The little boy scampered about, winding his way at last to Carina, who picked him up and held him on her hip. "Oh, yes, aren't you the wily one? You are definitely getting to be one big boy." She gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek and then set him down. "Such a fine little family you have," she said to Antonia, with a touch of envy.

      "Yes, and maybe not so little," she answered, patting her stomach.

         "Really!?"

         "Can you believe it? Besieged by the Giabaldies, everyone is hungry and worried for months and your brother is still thinking of making love."    

       "That is wonderful, Antonia. A new baby is a gift."

        "I worry, Carina. Things are so unsettled to have a family. Who knows when or who will attack next."

         "I know, but father is rebuilding and making our fortifications more secure. Trust, Antonia." She changed the subject. "Father wants me to marry."

         "That, I know for sure."

        "I am not opposed in principle, but don't want to marry just anyone. Can I ask how it was with you?"

         "I am not like you. I wanted to be married and yet I was still scared. In the end, I trusted my father because I believed he would give me to a suitable man."

       "You had no misgivings about my brother?"

         "Nothing anyone else wouldn't have on getting married. He was, is, handsome. I was a little afraid he would be rough, but he's not at all."

       "Sometimes I think I should be like you and just let father decide. It might be a lot easier."

         "Didn't you reject the man Tiberio  picked for you?"

         "Yes. Father was so angry. There is something about Romero, though. He is overbearing. I knew I couldn't marry him."

         "There are not many men around unless you count farmers' sons."

         "You did not know Renzo long before your wedding. Can I ask if you have more feeling for him now than before?" 

         "Honestly?"

         Carina nodded her head.

        "I would say yes," Antonia answered with a self-conscious smile. "Please don't  let him know I told you this."

         "I won't," she answered, returning her smile. "I needed to know if feelings might grow in time," she said, confidentially.

         "Why? Does your father have someone in mind for you?"

         "He says either his friend, the count, or the youthful knight who rescued me from the Giabaldies would be quite suitable."

         "Be agreeable to them then. We can share more when you are also married."

         "Neither has yet asked for my hand, and father will not make any arrangement since I turned down Romero."

         "Oh, Carina. I don't know what to say to you."

         "It's alright, Antonia. Somehow it will work out," she added, squeezing her hands in parting.

Carina loves her father. He's a good man though he doesn't understand her. She seems willing to marry even if it doesn't include love. But she doesn't want to be a pawn only to cement an alliance. She wants something more. Something, she has yet to experience.