I don't know if you remember,
but that shirt tucked around your body?
Is the one you gifted me,
on a cold Christmas morning.
Childish and sweet, I lit up
Like the lights on the tree.
Little did I know our laundry would mix together for some time.
I was so comfortable, I forgot to gather all of my things before I left.
You come back to me.
Over and over,
you are a vision of crimson.
The color stained
On the white linen
After you pleased me.
I have to chew my tongue raw
To cease talking about you.
You break laws
In my new love.
You make me a criminal.
Is it just memory?
Is it all memory, now?
Or amnesia?
Did someone bleach your wardrobe clean?
Rip away all your morality?
Stuff the meat of your throat in the freezer?
Scream down your worth, wallow in your waters?
She looks lovely in her little black dress
I bet you like the way she feels
Squish her heart like slime in your palm
Grip her with your fist
Let her soak your hands
And then,
When she dries out,
Like your wallet,
And your lungs.
Do the same you've always done.
Rinse
And repeat.
I close my eyes,
And kiss,
And I am drowning.
I close my eyes,
And dream,
And it's a nightmare.
Could love ever be special with you?
Forever was your promise.
You did
the one thing I worried about.
That you got mad at me for worrying about.
Maybe it's because you knew all along.
That I'd be right.
But fuck, I guess it was worth the fight.
Feel free to hate me
For my blood now only boils
For the pity
I have for the death of who I thought you were.
Don't chase after me.
Write one back to me.
Who knows, maybe you haven't recycled that brand new notebook yet.
Let your ink flow.
Dig into my skin.
Respond.
The way I thought you wanted to.
-Vivian.
