Innocent Stalker ✓

1. His imperfect life

"Ben baby mama loves you alot,"mom said as tears started dropping from her eyes.

I was confused why is she crying?

She just gave me my another brother, isn't she happy?

" Mama why are you crying? " I frowned.

" Baby, mama needs to go somewhere? "

"Where?

" Somewhere far" she sobbed.

My eyes went wide, I don't want mama to leave me. I can't even spend a day without her. She is my fairy, she saves me from everything - bad dreams, Dad's scolding, my bullies. Who will help me if she left? Who'll love me?

"No you can't go. I need you, Cole needs you and now little baby also needs you. Please, mama I can't leave without you. P-please!" I shuttered while sobbing badly.

" No baby. I'll always be with you, inside your heart" she said placing her hand on my cheek.

"But I want you with me. "

Her breathing started getting heavy, I started shouting for doctor.

"Ben promise me. That you'll take care of your brother, always be with them, "she raised her. " Promise me."

I placed my shivering hand on her, "p-promise"

Her body went stiff, I looked at her but her eyes weren't moving...

"Mama!! No! Please, don't leave me. I need you. Please. Please. I'll be a good boy. I love you. Don't go. Please. Please"

"Mama! No don't leave me. Please. I need to you. Please. No!! " I woke up panting heavily.

I look around and realise that it was a nightmare. I could feel sweat all over my body, my heart was pumping inside my ribs.

My hands went towards my hair clutching them in anger. I couldn't take this anymore, it's getting worse everyday. I walk inside the washroom, after removing all my clothes I allow the warm water to pass through my body.

I place my hands on the tiles, the water finally calmed me.

It isn't my first nightmare but the effect was equal to it. It never fails to shake my mind,make me feel alone, weak and unworthy. Those memories are meant to make me stronger but it makes me remember that I failed every duty, from being a good son to a good brother. I failed in every field.

I took out canvas and paint, soon the white canvas turned into something else.

Painting is my favourite thing to do, it calms me and relaxes my body. I start mixing colours and putting all my wild thoughts in my painting. All my negative, bad and horrific thoughts turned into painting.

I couldn't help but think about my life lately, it's plain. Plain like the canvas but difference is that I can paint it but no one can paint my life.

No one is here to stay with me, people came and are now gone. Everyone told me that my pain will disappear soon but they lied, the pain is sitting in my heart and it's only increasing. They are all liar.

I threw the painting away resulting into a dirty wall but I cared less about it, I look around and noticed how messy my room is. Most of the time my room is exactly in this state.

I start collecting the wrappers on the floor, dirty clothes went into the basket and my room after few minutes looked presentable.

The walls of my room are coloured in grey and white shade but all of them are empty there was no single painting or photo hanging. My room is big but almost empty, the only  noticeable thing is king sized bed and a couch. There is no study table in my room as I spend most of the time on bed.