"Take me down to your paradise city." He whispers lowly his hand searching for mine.
I look up into his eyes that resemble a cloudy day with the promise of the sun peeking out at the end.
He has those sad boy eyes that I've fallen for the minute I l...
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Paradise city, it's a dream land my mother told me about when I was five. You could imagine it as you want and make up the rules there- which in my case were none.
The grass was green, rainbows were everywhere and I imagined a giant candy cotton machine that was for free and would never go empty.
12 years later I'm still going back to Paradise city but this time it's different. The grass is still there, it's shining in beautiful green tones and it is freshly mowed.
The small blades move around me in the soft breeze making the blue blossoms of the forget-me-not flowers fly around my face.
I try to imagine the sun beaming down on me in just the right temperate. Not hot enough for me to feel uncomfortable and not cold enough so a t shirt is perfect.
The peachy scent of my moms perfume overpowers the fragrance of the flowers while she lowly hums her favorite song from Guns N' Roses.
I turn my head to look at her. Her Mahagoni hair flying in the wind her blue eyes closed. Due to the sun I imagine the light freckles dotted on her face and arms her rosy lips moving gracefully while singing the lyrics.
After a few minutes of laying down we hear steps and I already know who's coming.
My dad is dressed in a light blue shirt his eyes shining happily when he sees us laying down.
But it's always the same. His presence brings dark clouds with him and in the next minute the grass is yellow and dry the flowers are withered and lost their color.
In an instant thunder is heard and pounding rain is falling upon us soaking me in seconds.
The grass changes and suddenly I'm under water. There's no light and my parents disappeared into the deep ends of the water.
I know it's going to pull at my ankles. Every time it's pulling and pulling wanting to drag me into the deep ends and it's too dark to make out what it is.
Naturally I'm kicking my legs and trying to keep afloat trying to ignore the salty water that burns in my lungs.
I know it's irrational because rain water isn't salty but I can't seem to realize it in the moment.
Sometimes I wonder what it would feel like to stop kicking my legs and let whatever is beneath me pull me down.
If I wouldn't fight back the water would be in my lungs in an instant and I wouldn't feel anything.
I would welcome the darkness and let go. But letting go means that I have to leave paradise city behind and with that the memory of my mom.
And I can't because it's the only thing I have left of her because the memories are fading slowly but surely.
That's why I keep on kicking back until I have no strength anymore and wake up.
