BAU groupchat + Reader

34

                BAU baddies

Derek: good morning sexy sussy bakas😖😖😖

Emily: why 😐🖕🏻

Hotch: on a run rn cant talk

Derek: can I watch?🤤🤤

Y/n: ayo🤨 YOURE DOING TOO MUCH MORGAN

Derek: you can join me🙄🙄

Reid: I'd rather y/n not.👾

Emily: OMG DID THE DATE GO WELL I FORGOT

JJ: obvi hes being protective af☝🏻

Reid: We ate nutella together and read books! :)

Rossi: that's nice kiddos I hope you both had fun!

Derek: not pretty boy getting sum sum😏😏 oooo yuh fuck it up fuck it up

Emily: shut up😍🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻

Derek: LEAVE ME ALONE LET ME LIVE DONT YOU HAVE ANOTHER DEATH TO FAKE??????🖕🏾🖕🏾

Hotch: Behave. Both of you.

Y/n: ^ yall fight like a married couple 🙄

JJ: NO NO NO

Emily: got my wifey jealous now I'm gonna get spanked 😖🖕🏻

Derek: YO WHAT??🤔😁😡

Hotch: not in the office.

Y/n: tf where is funny Hotch

Derek: mfer is grumpy after this run 🖕🏾🖕🏾🙄

Reid: Actually, after physical exercise, the brain releases heightened amounts of dopamine and serotonin. It's unusual to be grumpy after working out unless theres an outside cause affecting your mood.

Emily: damn maybe he got stood up again

Hotch: HUH

Emily: I know things okay 💅💅

Derek: giving me... stalking our boss vibes 🤔🤔 me too😏

Hotch: I would say I'm giving you a psych evaluation but youd probably say you like that 🤮

Derek: DING DING DING eval my psych 😣😣

Emily: WE ALL ARE BEGGING YOU TO STOP, I WILL PAY YOU TO STOP.

Derek: IT IS FUNNY 😖😖😖😖

Hotch: NO ITS NOT.

Derek: 😡😡😡🖕🏾 fuck you

Hotch: Absolutely not.

Garcia: what's going on?? :3

Garcia: CHOCOLATE THUNDER STOP HARASSING HOTCH ???

Derek: For now, only for you babygirl 😍😍😍

Reid: I have a "meme" I want to send

Emily: okay??? Send it tf??

Derek: NOT PRETTY BOY DISCOVERING MEMES DAWG UTS 2021 IF YOU SEND SOME FUCK SHIT DOGE SHIT FROM 2007 ILL KILL MYSELF 😨😨

Emily: ^ I'm gonna have to agree

Garcia: PLEASE WATCH HIM SEND A TROLLFACE MEME ILL PISS MYSELF

Y/n: NOO😭😭 SWEET BOY DO NOT

Hotch: What the fuck is a trollface

JJ: WHYD YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT HEBEKSJWJ

Hotch: WHAT IS THAT ?? 🧍🏻‍♂️??

Garcia: google it

Hotch: 👍🏻

Y/n: who drank my apple juice??

Derek: ...

Y/n: LITERALLY A MENACE WHYY🤬🤬

Hotch: okay that's the most unfunniest shit I've ever seen in my life

Garcia: it was top tier humor in the early 2000s old man

Garcia: SOREY SORRY I DIDNT MSAN NEHE BFJE NO IM SORRY SIR IM SO SORRY

Emily: 💀 plz

Hotch: Damn and I thought I had no sense of humor lmao

Reid:

Y/n: LMAO WIAT 😭😭😭 MY FAVORITE BOY THATS SO FUNNY OMG

Derek: ...💀 PLEASE OKAYOKAY I SEE YOU

Hotch: ..okay yeah that's kinda funny

Emily: REID💀💀

Rossi: okay but yeah, it's true why  would you name a berry after a tube you drink out of???

Reid: Actually, although the exact origin of its common name is uncertain, the fruit being named 'strawberry' probably is a corruption of the phrase "strewn berry". The latter was an early designation for the plant which made reference to the fact that, as the 'strawberry" plant produced runners and spread all over the place, so it's berries were strewn about on the ground.

Hotch: Huh, so.. the meme isnt funny now👍🏻

Derek: PLEASE😭😭☝🏻 THE LIL THUMBS UP

Garcia: IVE BEEN TEACHING HIM TO USE THEM MORE IN A FUNNY CONTEXT OMG IM SO LITERALLY SO PROUD HOTCH !! :D

Emily: y/n come collect ur mans 💅💅😭

Reid: Who, me? :)

Y/n: Yes you sweet boy

Garcia: OMFG PLEASE

Emily: why is it cute when they flirt but when JJ and I do it its gross

Hotch: you had sex in the bullpen.

JJ: okay fair enough understandable 💀

Emily: yeah valid point ig at least my wife isnt dead tho❤❤

Hotch: You're not even married??

Emily: could be

JJ: ..I divorced last time I got married

Emily: was a man though

JJ: ...

JJ: Wanna get married?