Baddies of the BAU
3:56AM
Derek: my couch is on fire help
Derek: OH MY GOD
7:08AM
Emily: D, did you fucking die??😭🔥👩🏻🚒
Y/n: how does ones couch simply catch fire 🥂🕶
Reid: I caught my kitchen on fire once.
JJ: yeah... we know 💀 ur stupid for someone who's so smart
Reid: That makes no sense.
Y/n: Ayo I'm concerned about bald boy fr 😟😟 did he literally die ??? Like he's not at the bullpen and work starts soon
Hotch: I'm on my way to his house now
Y/n: not without me😍😍 make room babes
Hotch: I'm in my car so hurry up please
Y/n: runningf
Emily: NOT YOU RUNNING FOR A MANNNN
Garcia: oh goshes:((( please tell me he's okay??? He isn't answering any calls:(((
JJ: he's gotta be Penny
Garcia: I hope!!
Y/n: derek I'll let you have hotch if you reply
JJ: oh God it's serious he didn't reply to that 😱😱 HES DEAD!!! SOMEONE HELP HIM!!!!
Y/n: STOP I CANT LAUGH RN YHIS COULD BE SERIOUS
Y/n: Aaron looks mad hot when he's worried can I get an amen or WHAT
Emily: Sure!
Y/n: ugh I miss Derek he'd agree with me🙄🙄
Reid: On average, 2,775 people die each year, and another 11,025 suffer non-fatal injuries due to house fires. Making that roughly 7.2 people per 1000 reported fires. His chances of being dead from only his couch catching fire and him being aware before it spread are very low.
Garcia: very true boy genius !!! :0
JJ: I feel like that didn't help considering its Derek like he's stupid sometimes he probably tried spitting on it to put it out
Emily: NAH HE DEF TRIED PUTTING IT OUT WITH LIKE PEPSI AND MADE IT WORSE 💀
Y/n: LMAOOOOO
Y/n: hotch just told me to say that "making fun of a potentially dead friend is not right" and claims we should apologize to Derek
Emily: how am I supposed to apologize to a dead man 🤨🤨 riddle me that hotchy.
Y/n: I gasped.
JJ: EM OH MY GOD??
Emily: he's fucking bald there's nothing for the fire to latch onto he's basically fire proof he's FINE
YOU ARE READING
BAU groupchat + Reader
Fanfictionhow I think the BAU team would text eachother except you're also on the team dealing with their antics Some stuff is out of character and I exaggerated their personalities for comedic value, enjoy!
