#23 To Begin Again

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"I figured it out;
Saw the mistakes of up and down
Meet in the middle,
There's always room for common ground.
I see what it's like,
I see what it's like for day and night,
Never together
'Cause they see things in a different light like us
They never tried like us..."

— "You and I" // One Direction

ɤɤɤɤɤɤɤ

Mishti has chosen to act, the difficult part is how!

So when she walked out of office and received not a single text or call from Abir, she decided against going home immediately. No, she's not trying to hide. But she needs to clear her mind and find the right words so that she doesn't mess up again. The only problem is Abir has not called her yet and that's definitely not helping her. It is in such moments when she realises all over again how important Abir and his words are to her, how she needs him - not to make decisions but to calm her mind.

He holds her sanity.

Mishti makes her way through the park nearby, her feet dragging her to this place automatically. Maybe because parks are one place she used to visit with her mom when she was a child, her mom would tell her stories and she'd listen. They'd talk about anything and everything, little Mishti would ask questions and Rajshree always had answers to everything. Back then it was so easy, nobody would judge her words, it was all innocence and no disappointments, zero pressure of being perfect. She'd be just giggling and chasing butterflies and her mom would be running after her - smiling and calling her name...

Mishti...

Mishti.

"MISHTI, can you hear me?"

Mishti jumped and immediately turned back to find a worried Abir. Suddenly it clicked in her mind. She's running again, but this time it's Abir, taking her back home. After everything she lost, she found Abir.

It's always Abir.

"Are you alright Mishti?" Concern and fear cracking Abir's voice, "I was so scared, you weren't home. Mishti.. I- I was calling your name, you didn't say anything. I'm sorry I screamed. I didn't mean to. I- I thought you left ---" His struggle to express himself is clear.

"I'm fine Abir. Look, I'm here." Mishti softly smiles, "What are you doing here?"

"I, what?" Abir's demeanor changes, "I should be asking you that. What am I doing? Of course, I'm taking you home. You scared the shit out of me, Mishti. I thought I lost you again. I shouldn't have left you."

Taking you home.
Home.

The home she was deprived of when Rajshree was gone. The home she got back when Abir came along.

Her home.

"Let's go Mishti."

"No. Wait." She doesn't even know why she said that.

Abir stared at her for some time and suddenly his eyes were moist.

"It's wrong that I can't even stop you if you want to leave today. I hate it that I can't say anything if you want to go. But I kind of knew this would happen. So yeah." Abir wipes his eyes and looks straight at her. Now Mishti feels a little nervous.

"Look Mishti, I don't know why you didn't go back home. If you're planning to leave already then I know I'm no one to stop you. But that day I made a promise to not let you go." Abir gulps down the overwhelming feeling, "And I just want to say something, if you want to go then I won't stop you. I know I'm repeating the same thing, but I'm sorry."

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