Vulnerable: Book 1 of the Magic Mutations Series | ✓

8: Double Date?

The tube wasn't as busy as rush hour during the week, but evidently many were heading out to enjoy their Saturday evening while the weather was still moderately okay.

As a result, there were no free available seats, so we had to stand.

When we walked in, I pressed up against the wall by the door, holding on to the handle, wary of getting too close to anyone.

I was doing everything in my power to keep my breaths steady and not pay attention to the plethora of people surrounding us.

But as Ben shuffled in afterwards, he edged close to me, undeniably intentionally invading my personal space. The amount of room behind him left no reason for him to be this close to me... unless it was what he wanted.

Feeling his gaze burning into me I avoided looking up at him, eyes flickering this way and that, fixating on the people behind him, examining the graffiti on the wall nearby.

Suddenly, my anxiety of being in public places was gone, replaced by this new sense of nervousness thanks to his proximity.

As the doors closed, he caught my attention by asking, "What do you want to do when you finish your studies?"

Ugh. He wants to talk when he's that close?

The train lurched to a start and we both swayed with it rhythmic movements as it bumped and jostled us while it glided over the tracks. His hanging arm sometimes brushed against me, a knee gently pressing up against my thigh every now and then. My throat drying up with every touch of his, sending my heart into overdrive.

In that moment I thought, I'm so glad people can't hear each others' hearts.

"I'm not sure yet," I breathed, doing my best to keep my tone steady.

To be honest, I was really growing tired of these reactions. He was just a person. Sure, I was attracted to him. But I thought these intense feelings would go away the older I got.

But, somehow, they had gotten more forceful this time around.

I wondered if either I had become that desperate or... if Ben had roused something in me I had never felt before.

Then again, that would be cliche, right? 'Oh our heroine has been in love before, but she never knew what love is until she met Mr tall, dark, and handsome'. Gross.

"You have time to figure it out," he responded, eyes still raking me in, almost as though it might be one of the last times he could. Almost as if he expected this to all disappear soon. Then again... Monday was approaching.

"You said you were going to tell me about your complex life," I started as that thought popped back into my mind.

"I still have tonight and tomorrow," he responded, a touch of hesitancy and desperatism tainting his tone..

"So you want to tell me Monday then?"

Though he sighed and said, "I suppose I should."

I pursed my lips. "You don't want to?" Does he not feel close enough to me anymore to want to tell me? Is he second-guessing whether I'm worth it?

But then he replied, "I have to."

"Why?" I implored.

He didn't answer.

The train slowed down, he slipped his hand in mine, and then he dragged me off. We had reached our stop... making for a timely end to our conversation.

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