Vulnerable: Book 1 of the Magic Mutations Series | ✓

53: Lost in Thought

No one spoke a word as Lukas sat behind the wheel, Ben in the back seat next to me, on our way to Windeck. When I got back to the room last night, Ben was already fast asleep. This morning, Lukas was outright avoiding looking at me. Regardless, the plan was still going ahead.

"Can you drop me off with my dad," Ben finally spoke when we were ten minutes from the town.

"You don't want to come to the facility?" Lukas asked.

"You two can go alone."

I glanced over at him, feeling a crease worry its way between my brows. Was Ben done with being around me? Had I finally pushed him too far?

He never met my eyes, fixated on Lukas in the front who gave a small nod, taking the exit towards Stephen's.

We dropped Ben off and I got out of the car, expecting a hug or a kiss. But without even a glance back at me, he walked away from the car and into the house. So I did all I could do and got into the passenger seat, fastened my seatbelt, then leaned against the window as Lukas reversed out of the driveway.

We didn't drive for long until Lukas pulled the car to a stop again, unbuckling himself and getting out. Shooting him a questionable glance, I followed him out of the car and into the brush after him.

"Where are we going?" I finally braved myself to ask.

Raising an amused eyebrow, he said, "To the facility."

"In the woods? Off the track?"

Stifling a laugh, he said, "Of course, Olivia. It's not just out in the open for anyone to walk into."

My heart twinged to hear my full name come out of his mouth, and I came to a stop, watching him take a couple steps ahead before he realised I was no longer following him.

Glancing back at me, he asked, "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You haven't spoken to me all morning."

"You haven't spoken to me."

"You haven't even looked at me."

"I'm looking at you now."

I dropped my gaze for a moment, fixated on the way the layers of leaves covered the ground beneath my feet, decomposing. Wilting. Dying. "Forget it." I kept walking as he stood still, eyes trailing after me. But as I walked past him, his hand shot out, grabbing my arm.

"I'm just lost in thought," he mumbled.

I shook my head, avoiding his burning gaze on me, turning my zaps up until he released me. But I stood stock-still like the trunks of the trees surrounding us, feeling the wind coming in waves, gently flickering my orange locks in front of my eyes before ceasing. "I never should have said it."

"What do you mean?"

"That things would have been better if we met first. That I would have fallen for you. I didn't respect your feelings or our friendship when I let that slip."

"Slip?"

"You're my best friend, Lukas..." Slowly, I met his awaiting gaze, swirling with confusion. "I adore you. You mean the world to me. Which is why I shouldn't have put such a silly statement on you when you're already dealing with complicated love matters. I don't want you to think you can't talk to me just because a part of me loves you."

Something faltered in his face, the stone-look weakening as my words hit him like knives. Surely he knew what I was hinting at yesterday.

When he didn't say anything though, I continued to ramble. "What I am saying is forget I said anything and just talk to me like before. I promise you, whatever you need to vent about regarding her or any other love matter, I'll think of you and your feelings first before mine."

"Are you... are you saying that a small part of you has actually thought about being with me? Even though you're with Ben?"

I opened my mouth a few times to speak, but couldn't get the words out. Because what were the right words here? Shaking my head, I said, "Maybe I did but it was silly and it's fleeting. I'm just all confused because of course I love you Lukas. It's hard not to love your closest friend. But when Stephen pulled me aside yesterday and confused me saying that he thought you and Ben were fighting over me..." I took a deep breath and looked away, willing the stinging sensation behind my eyes to disappear already. "I think I'm just leaning on you too much. Projecting my feelings that I've lost for Ben onto you."

"That's it?"

Shrugging, I said, "That's all I'm going to let myself think it is. Just... can we go back to normal?" I finally met his eyes, an indistinguishable array of emotions gazing back at me.

"Of course, Ollie."

A small smile slipped on my face to hear my nickname coming from his mouth once more.

We continued to walk a little while in silence, the crunch under our feet and the rustling of the leaves above some of the only noises around us. That is, until Lukas stirred the air once more. "I think when we get back to England, I'm going to tell her everything."

"That you like her?"

"That I love her."

"What about her bond?"

He shrugged. "She will probably still choose him. And he will hate me for it. But I can't keep it from her any more. I shouldn't have kept it on her in the first place. At least then, when she hears everything and has the chance to think it through and still rejects me... then I won't have to hold onto that small shred of hope I have that she will eventually leave him for me. Or that she will remember us."

"What will you do if she rejects you?"

A sigh escaped him. "I'll pack my bags and head away for while... until the invitation breaks. However long that takes. I just... that small bit of hope is what keeps me near her, scared to let what we had go."

"Where will you go?"

"Anywhere and everywhere. Capital cities like Prague and Paris to smaller towns in Italian country sides like Valvasone and Mascioni. Then maybe venture over to Asia... visit Jeju island and get lost in the islands of Japan."

Groaning, I said, "Take me with you. It sounds lovely."

He breathed a laugh. "I don't think taking you with me will help, Ollie."

"Why?"

But then he stopped. "We're here."

Glancing around, I looked for a towering building. But there was nothing other than a small shed a few feet away.

"That doesn't look like a facility."

"It goes underground."

"Right... of course it does."

Walking forward, he pried open the rotting wooden door, beckoning for me to go in.

Scoffing, I said, "Oh hell no. You're walking down into that dungeon before me."

Rolling his eyes, he began to descend the stairs, me hot on his heels, clinging to his shirt from behind as the darkness consumed us the further we got away from the forest entry. And then the door we entered swung shut, and my world went black.