38.please hold onto him.

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I woke to light burning in my eyes, blinding me. When I got used to the daylight from the windows, I noticed there was no person beside me anymore. Had he even been there at all? Had I just dreamed all that?

I got up and noticed my pants was no longer on. Neither was my jumper. Guess he was here then.

I put on all my clothes and walked out of the room. I was greeted by Chris who sat in a chair in the living room.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked and looked more tired then i was last night. "Mhm." I said and rubbed my eyes. "Good some of us did. I slept like shit."

I sat down in the sofa across from her and she threw me a bag. "Eat, we'll be leaving in a little." She said and checked her phone.

"Lorenzo and Ryan are down by the car." She said and it looked like she just got a massage saying just that.

I opened the bag and found two donuts inside. Yum. "Where is Nicolas and his girl? What's her name by the way?" I realized she never told me her name. Not so weird since I had never talked to her, but still.

"I have no idea what her name is. I don't care to learn them anymore, since it's always a new one." She paused taking a sip of a cup. I believe it was coffee.

"And I have no clue where they are. Maybe in their room, I don't know." She rolled her eyes.

After a while of quiet she looked over at me and lowered her eyebrows. Searching for something.

"What's up with you and Ryan?" I frowned at her question. Mostly because I didn't know what to say.

"Ehm..." I struggled to come up with a explanation. "Come on, I know there's something." She pushed. "We have mutual friends at school." I tried to sound convincing, but who was I trying to foul. He wouldn't just bring anyone to meet his family, would he?

"Tessa, I'm not blind. I've seen how he looks at you." She said and rose her eyebrows in a way that said 'don't try to foul yourself'

"And it's not in a way a friend would look at you. It's lust and desire." I swear I blushed at her last sentence.

I shrugged. "I don't know." She rolled her eyes at me again.

"You don't want to tell me, fine. But you must know that he was very different before. I can see he has changed. And I believe that is your doing." She now had a very serious look on her face.

I listened to what she had to say, because I was curious. I knew he had changed, but I never thought that I might've been the one changing him. Or that he changed for me.

"He cares about you, a lot. And he needs someone to care about. Someone to hold onto so he doesn't slip back to where he was before." She explained.

I would love to be the someone he could hold onto. "You see what have happened to his brother. He barely finds joy in the right things anymore." I knew this. It wasn't hard to see that he found joy in the wrong things. Such as messing with his brother. Making Ryan miserable.

"Please hold onto him, don't let him become his brother." She pleaded. I didn't speak up before I knew she was finished talking. I wouldn't forget anything she told me.

"Always." I said and smiled to her.

+++

After a while we locked up the cabin and drove to the apartment. I was still a bit tired when we got back. Not Ryan it seemed. As I was sitting on the couch in the living room, he was standing up competing against his father at a video game on the tv.

They yelled at each other and both had this crazy winner instinct.

From time to time my eyes fell shut and then shot up again when one of them yelled to loudly.

"Hey! You cheated!" My head was slowly tilting to the side as the fought. "Tessa! You saw that right?" As I heard my name my eyes flew open.

"What?" I said looking confused at them both staring at me. Ryan gave me a soft smile. "Is someone tired?" He asked giving me the voice he would give to a little child.

I shot him a glare. "No." They both laughed at my reaction.

"Wanna try?" Lorenzo asked and held up the console. "No no, I'm fine." I said and shock my head. "Come on try, I'll teach you." Ryan said.

Oh I didn't need teaching. I've played a lot of video games as a kid. With my dad and all.

I smirked and took the console from Lorenzo's hand. Ryan started the game and was about to show me what the buttons meant. Before he got to that I started playing and he stared at me in shock as I killed him in a few seconds.

"Good god, she's good." Lorenzo said from behind us. I smiled proudly and looked over at Ryan's shocked face.

"Have you played before." He asked sounding impressed. "A time or two when I was younger." I shrugged.

We played many more rounds and I won each one. Finally I'd had enough of it.

"This is just too easy." I teased him. "No, one more round. I'll beat you this time." He said and held my arm to keep me from going. "That's what you said the last five times. But hey, keep dreaming." I hit him playfully in the arm and grabbed my phone before I walked into our bedroom.

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